Regaining Memories -- Part 4



Thank you for all the kind words on the last part, I'm glad everyone is enjoying the story.
Regaining Memories -- Part 4
Disclaimer
: Joss Whedon, Marti Noxon, Twentieth Century Fox Productions, UPN, Sandollar Television, and Mutant Enemy own BtVS. No copyright infringements were intended. This is my story and not meant to copy the show.
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Spike thought to himself as he walked up to the front door of his small apartment. He opened the door and greeted the visitor. "Hello Anne," he said.
"Hey."
"What are you doing here?"
"I, uh...I figured that we could have a small chat," Anne suggested.
"Okay...*how'd* you get here?" Spike asked. He had never given Anne or Andrew his address.
"Oh, I just beat up some demons to get your address," she said proudly.
"Oh, great."
"Anyway, I know that Andrew wants all of us at his place tomorrow evening for a meeting, but..." she thought. "Do you want to step outside with me?"
"Sure," Spike said, walking through the doorway and closing the door behind him.
"Anyway, I had this whole speech planned out. I was going to amaze you with my rationality and my use of really big words. I was going to sound really professional because I didn't want to take a chance of babbling off topic for a really long time, and-"
"Uh, a little too late for that," Spike said, smiling over at her.
"Right...okay, here goes." she took a deep breath before continuing. "Why do you hate me?" she told herself.
"Hate you? I don't hate you," Spike said with surprise in his voice. "What gave you that idea?"
"Well you work me to no end for one thing," Anne started. "You know almost everything there is to know about me, and yet I know nothing about you. I try to talk to you, but you shut me out whenever I try to get a conversation started. I mean, you aren't Angel, but at least, he would *talk* about Faith and his girlfriend, Cordelia."
"Wait, I thought you said that he-"
"Yeah, I lied to you about that," Anne said. "I didn't want to reveal that he and I knew each other at the time."
"Romantic with each other?" Spike asked, dreading the possible answer.
"Well, not really. He still had those feelings for Cordelia that he didn't want to ruin. I think that he was with her up to the end...well, her end anyway. We kissed a few times but that was as far as it got before he died," she said regrettably. "I don't understand it, but there seemed to be something that was just pulling me towards him." Anne thought.
Spike reflected. "Well, that nancy boy has some history of his own, too. After all, he was older than me by at least one hundred years or so," he said, trying not to disrespect the memories Anne had of Angel...even though it was really tempting.
"I mean, I must totally disgust all men, including vampires!" she said angrily. "First, Angel, and now you!" Anne thought guiltily.
"Me?" Spike said, even more surprised. He wasn't really expecting that.
"I remember that night in the gym. You just...Spike, you just shoved me away as if I was diseased or something," Anne said, hurt evident in her tone. "You looked as though you were going to...and then you just backed away."
Spike thought. "My past is somewhat...troubled."
"Is that why you won't kiss me?" Anne asked.
"Kiss you? Love, what happened to the whole 'kill the vampire; don't have feelings for him' motto?" Spike asked.
"Oh, you mean that was taken seriously when your slayer...ohh," Anne said, now understanding. "That's what this is all about, isn't it? It's all about your slayer, whoever she was."
"It's a little bit more than that," he noted. he wanted to tell her. He wanted to be truthful with Anne, but without knowing what would happen, Spike didn't want to speak.
"Then, what? Why aren't you making a move?" Anne asked, throwing her hands up in the air. "I *want* you to, okay?"
"Anne..." Spike started.
"Spike, I just...I just need a sign from you that you'll-"
His arms reached out and pulled Anne into his embrace, pushing her face to meet his. Spike lowered her head and captured Anne's lips in the sweetest kiss she'd ever had in her life. Anne forced herself to not smile as she heard Spike growl somewhere in the back of his throat.
Spike thought, imagining the two of them back in his crypt kissing on the floor, unable to wait to actually reach the bed. he tried to convince himself. "So, how was that for a sign?" Spike asked, pulling back and staring at her.
Anne took a deep breath, trying to calm her pounding heart. "It's a start," she replied. "I, uh, have to go patrol and then check back in with Andrew."
"Okay, Anne," Spike said, his accent thick and his voice gruff with desire.
"I'll stop by tomorrow, and we can head over to Andrew's place, okay?" Spike nodded in response. "Well, good night, Spike."
"Actually, it's 'good morning' for me," Spike said teasingly.
"Well then, good morning," Anne said, smiling coyly. Before he could protest, she pressed a warm kiss on his lips and turned to skip down the front steps.
Spike asked himself.
 
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"Spike?" Anne called out, banging on his front door. "Spike, it's Anne!" Dusk hadn’t quite arrived yet, but Anne decided to come over early, hoping that she'd get a chance to spend some alone time with Spike.
She knocked on the door one last time, hoping to get him to answer the door. she mused, clasping the doorknob in her hand. She twisted the knob and broke through the lock, pushing the door open and stepping inside.
Anne thought, making her way through the living room. Anne passed a kitchen, bathroom, and closet before reaching the two final rooms, what she assumed were the bedrooms. Anne opened the door to her left and smiled when she saw Spike lying in a full-sized bed. He was wrapped in black satin sheets that had been pushed down to his lower waist, exposing his fit and muscular abs.
she scolded herself. Anne’s smile widened when she realized how human he looked…so much more than Angel did.
She silently closed the door behind her, deciding to let him sleep a few minutes longer. She walked back through the hallway and into the living room.
Anne walked over to Spike's closet and opened the double doors. The closet was empty with the exception of a leather bag on the very top shelf. Anne pushed the bag aside to reveal a dusty, beaten up shoebox. she told herself. Anne stood on her tiptoes and pulled the box down.
She pulled off the cover and started looking at the first layer of the box.
"They're photos...of me," she whispered to herself. Anne started taking the photos out one right after the other, noticing that they were all of her. She chuckled to herself, thinking,
Anne looked closer at the image of herself, frowning when she saw the disgusting shade of violet that she was wearing. Slowly, she turned the photo over and read what Spike had written.
Buffy Anne Summers.
1981-2004
She turned the photo back around and gazed at the image. Anne thought wildly, not understanding what was going on.
"You know, breaking and entering is against the law, or at least it used to be," Spike said from behind her.
"You!" Anne tried to speak as she stood up and spun around to face him.
Spike looked down at the floor where the open box lay, dozens of faded images scattered around the box, and then back up at Anne and the picture that she held in her trembling hand. "Anne..." he hesitated.
"You...you deceived me!"
"What? Love, I'd never do that to you!" Spike protested, taking a step towards her.
Anne backed away, her body shaking, and her face becoming red with anger. "I'm her! Spike, I look *exactly* like her!"
"Yeah, but-"
"Oh God," Anne said, a new thought coming to her mind. "You weren't kissing *me*; you were kissing *her* last night. You were touching *her* arm, helping *her* train, holding *her* hands."
"No, I wasn't!"
"Yes, you were. You weren't seeing me; you were seeing *Buffy* *Summers*, *your* slayer!" Anne shouted at him.
With the photo still in her hand, Anne started towards the front door. She threw open the door and ran out into the night, leaving a stunned Spike standing in the hallway.
 
~~~
 
"So you found out like *that*?" Wilona asked her in disbelief. When Anne had gotten back to her apartment, she'd called Wilona to come over for some serious comfort. She was so confused and didn't know what was happening. Even though Wilona would know less that she did, at least Wilona could offer her some moral support and her friendship.
"Yeah, great way to find out, huh? I mean, he wasn't just with a slayer, Wil, he was with *the* slayer, Buffy," Anne said despairingly. "She's a legend; she's what every slayer dreams of achieving and becoming. And *he* was with her!"
"You know, I must say that the resemblance is...well, uncanny," Wilona said, looking at the picture that lay on the table in between them.
"I know, I look just like her," Anne stated. "Major wiggins, let me tell you that."
"Wiggins?" Wilona asked her, staring at Anne as if she had just spoken in pig Latin.
"Hmm...well, I knew what that word meant a second ago," Anne said thoughtfully. "I think it's just a weird feeling. Anyway, that's definitely what I got when I looked at this photo today."
"So...wait, I'm confused," Wilona said.
"Yeah, join the club."
"Are *you* Buffy Summers?" Wilona asked, glancing over at her best friend.
Anne laughed at Wilona's remark. She paused. "Oh, you mean that you were serious?" Wilona gave her a look. "C'mon Wilona, I'm...Anne. You've known me since I moved here when I was sixteen. I wasn't just suddenly made up out of thin air!"
"I don't know, though. Couldn't it have been something like reincarnation?" Wilona speculated.
Anne scoffed, refusing to believe any other possibilities. "Anyway, he came into the living room and tried to act as if everything was normal. I told him that he was using me to imagine that he was with Buffy again and then ran out of the house." She studied the photo, resisting the urge to turn it over, so she wouldn't have to see at it. "He didn't really try to fight back; he just...stood there."
"I'm telling you, men can be such assholes, dead or alive," Wilona said. "Trust me."
Anne smiled, glad that she had Wilona for a best friend. "Thanks, Wil."
Wilona grinned. "What are best friends for?" Then, her expression grew more serious. "You know, there *are* ways to find out what's going on here."
"Really? Well, fill me in."
"Andrew's journals," Wilona informed Anne. "I mean, doesn't he have to keep journals on how you've been slaying and so on?"
"You mean the Watcher Diaries?" Anne asked. Wilona nodded. "I don't know...we aren't really allowed to read those."
"Well, isn't Andrew out right now?" Wilona asked, a gleam sparkling in her eye.
"Yeah, he's out looking for this book....something called the Codex or something like that," Anne commented. "Wait, are you suggesting we go down there and check out his diaries while he's out?" Wilona's expression said it all. "Wil! You evil girl."
She winked. "Yep, I'm a rebel," she said happily.
"And I love it," Anne said, standing up. "C'mon."
 
~~~
 
"You got anything?" Anne asked Wilona. The two found Andrew's journals hidden beneath some papers inside one of his desk drawers. Luckily, they had been relatively easy to find. Now the two were searching through his books, hoping to find out some information about Spike and his relationship with Buffy and what Anne had to do with any of it.
"Nada," Wilona replied, turning another page. "You know, maybe Andrew doesn't have anything about Spike and Buffy in here."
Anne stopped reading one of his books. "What do you mean?"
"Well, Buffy had a watcher, right? If Andrew mentions him, we could see if he's got some other journals around here," Wilona suggested.
"Wilona, I love you," Anne said admiringly. "You're a genius."
Wilona smiled. "Go on, please, go on." Wilona and Anne turned their attention back towards Andrew's journals, keeping an eye out for anything about Buffy's watcher.
I don't know too much about this Spike fellow, and I don't trust him, Anne read in the journal. This was dated back when Spike first showed up in Sunnydale. I mean, I've heard of Spike -- who hasn't? Every vampire fears him, every slayer that knows about him dreams of getting to fight along side him, and every watcher is amazed and stupefied by the acts of kindness that he carried out. The most amazing aspect of his altruistic behavior is that he did it all without a soul. Perhaps this is just what Anne needs, a good training partner, but something tells me it's more than that.
I know that he and Buffy had a past together, but I can't let Anne find out about this. But with the two of them working in such close proximity, I don't know how I can prevent this from happening. I am hoping, however, that Giles' journals will give me more definitive answers.
"Ah hah!" Anne said excitedly. "I found something."
"What?"
"I think that her watcher's name was Giles," Anne said, flipping through a few more pages of the journal. "He says that Giles' journals should have more answers, but that's all he mentions about that."
"Giles?" Wilona asked. "Oh! *That* Giles." She moved towards the cabinet and took out an older looking journal that had tape over the binding and the edges of the book coming apart. "I think this was his then." She took the book and opened it to one of the pages that had a post-it note sticking out of the top of the journal.
" 'I'm very worried. William the Bloody, Spike, has arrived in Sunnydale. Buffy first met him at the Bronze, and now he has terrorized the school,’" Wilona read. "What do you think the Bronze is? The Golden Stake?"
"Maybe," Anne replied, wanting to hear more from his journal.
"’He and Buffy fought, and thank god, she still lives. Spike has killed two slayers and is now looking for his third. Other than Angel's cryptic warnings about him, this is all we know of the vampire at this time,’" Wilona continued reading. "Wow, this was dated back in 1997. That's so long ago!"
Anne nodded, saying, "It was a little over one hundred years ago."
Wilona flipped through the pages, pausing for a second to peruse the pages that Andrew had marked for reference. "It's all in here, Anne," Wilona said. "A crash course in Spike 101."
"Do think Andrew would mind if I borrowed that?" Anne asked. "Or, let me rephrase that. Do you think that he'd notice?"
"Just take it; be brave," Wilona urged. She glanced down at her watch and groaned. "Man, it's getting late. I've got classes tomorrow; I'd better get home." She stood up and stretched.
Anne rose beside Wilona , holding the book tightly in her hands. "I think I'll go upstairs and read this, then," she said as the two walked to Andrew's doorway. After the two said goodnight to each other and went their separate ways, Anne headed up the stairs to her apartment.
"Okay," Anne said to herself. She was dressed in some warm pajamas and a long robe. With the book in her hands, Anne walked back to her bedroom and lay on the bed, opening the book to the next marked page. She skipped over most of the entries unless they mentioned something about Spike. Anne wanted to read Giles' entire journal, but she wanted to read the important things first.
 
Goddamn Ethan Rayne. By invoking Janus, the Roman god, a spell was cast over the children out trick-or-treating, including Buffy. There was a fight between Spike and her. Luckily, I broke the spell, and Buffy managed to fend for herself once again.

*****
Spike came back to Sunnydale tonight. After months of hoping that he would not return, Spike arrived, searching for a way to get Drusilla to fall in love with him again.
I do not know what happened. Since Buffy's return, she's barely spoken with me about anything that has to do with her slaying. However, I have been trying my best to keep the journal occasionally updated.
 
Anne read countless pages all talking about Spike. The dates progressed into 1999 and then 2000 when Giles started writing about Spike and the chip that the Initiative implanted into his brain. Anne stifled a laugh when she imagined him grabbing his head in pain after trying to hurt Buffy and then grimaced when she read about Willow's "I will it so" spell that went horribly wrong.
However, the more she read, the more confused she became. she thought. She continued reading, her thoughts becoming a jumbled mess.
Finally, when her eyes were cross-eyed from reading Giles' small and scratchy script, and her eyelids could barely stay open, Anne lay her head down on the pillow and drifted off to sleep.
 
~~~
 
TBC...
 
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