Chapter 26: ‘Miracles’
Buffy was so stoked that night, she could barely wait until Angel got home from the office to tell him about her new job at the Gallery. She tried to keep her uneasy feelings at bay, the ones that said ‘he won’t care; he’ll be angry; he’ll put you down’ and most of all “Travers women don’t work Buffy” speech!’
“He’ll be happy for me,” she tried to convince herself, “he’ll love the idea that I’m getting on with my life and not nagging him about babies he’s not ready for.”
‘Yada, yada, yada,’ the bad little Buffy voice whispered in her ear, ‘he’ll tell you that any job you have or position you hold will be beneath you Summers!’
“Maggie,” Buffy shouted suddenly, trying to dispel the bad Buffy voice, “do we have everything to make Chicken Marsala?”
Angel came home, tired and edgy, as usual, so Buffy tried to lighten things up a bit around the house. She had Maggie making Chicken Marsala, she had some generic pop music playing on the stereo and she herself was wearing a pair of beautiful silk house pajamas, the ones Angel had bought her in Maui years before.
Her husband grabbed the new mail, first thing, and began to thumb through the papers quickly, “what’s for dinner?” he asked, not bothering to look up at her.
“Chicken Marsala,” she answered, somewhat posing by the stairwell, hoping to catch his eye.
Finally, he looked up at her, “wow,” he whistled softly, “you look great, babe!”
Buffy refrained from breaking into the Halleluja chorus from the Messiah and scampered over to her husband, “I’ve got something to tell you,” she said excitedly, “but I want to tell you at supper, kay?”
Angel nodded his large dark head, yes, and followed her into the dining room.
They were eating their wonderful Chicken Marsala and drinking a rather lovely Rodney Strong Cabernet when Buffy decided to broach the ‘Gallery subject’ to Angel.
“I have a really big thing to tell you, Angel,” she said giddily, “I mean it’s so cool and all so please let me just tell you and then we’ll discuss it, okay?”
Angel grinned, happy to be eating pasta again, and nodded for her to continue.
“I’ve taken a position at the Sunnydale Gallery!” she squealed, unable to contain her excitement any longer. Her husband looked like he looked when he didn’t win Prom King back in High School, then he slammed his fork down and stood up from the table.
“You what?” he roared angrily.
“I’ve taken a job at the Gallery,” Buffy whimpered, much less giddy then before, ashamed of herself for her weakness.
“Are you insane!” he shouted wildly, actually throwing his arms about.
“Not the last time I checked,” Buffy quipped back, somewhat irritated by this reaction of her husbands, no matter how expected it might have been.
“Why do you feel the need to humiliate me and my family, Buffy?” Angel asked, his hands clenched into fists.
“Why is it that my taking a job is such a ‘humiliation’ Angel?” she retorted, her anger level was getting dangerously close to ‘ballistic’ by this time.
“I give you everything you need, Buffy,” he growled through clenched teeth, “why is it you have to prove some femnist power bullshit and take a job when you know how ‘small’ it makes me feel?”
It was Buffy’s turn to stand up and push the chair back behind her, “I’m not trying to make you feel small, Angel,” she hissed at him, “if you feel small it’s because you have the problem, not me. I just want to do something with myself, my time and energy. I can’t just sit around here, getting pedicures and hair weaves to pass the time. I need to do something constructive with myself!”
Angel threw his napkin on the table, “if you’re so God damned bored,” he spat, “why don’t you go down to the Public Library and volunteer your time to reading to the toddlers? You love kids so damn much, go teach them to mind or something!”
“I can see this was a mistake,” Buffy shook her head sadly, “I should have known.”
Angel grabbed her arm and pulled her into the living room, “yes, your going behind my back and taking some podunk job in a stupid two bit gallery is a mistake, babe. So you just go and call whoever you have to and tell them you’re no longer interested.”
‘But I am interested’ she screamed in her head, ‘I deserve to have a dream for myself!’.
“No,” she said out loud, “I’m not going to give up my new job, I need it to keep my sanity at the very least!”
He towered over her anyway and right now his large lumbering frame would be intimidating to Attila the Hun.
“So,” he snorted, “just like that. You’re going to defy me and take some second rate job to what Buffy? Prove yourself?”
She nodded in her defense and added, “I don’t have to ‘prove’ myself, Angel but if you, as only a Travers could, consider this an act of defiance, then so be it!”
“You know,” Angel sighed, “I have that golf tournament on Friday, the one in San Diego. I was going to ask if you wanted to go this time. Riley Finn is going, of course, and Cordy wanted to join him. Thought you’d like to go along and maybe keep Cordelia company while Riley and I tag team the other doubles and kick their asses. But I guess you might be a bit too busy, huh? Your new job and all?” His sarcastic voice just grated on Buffy’s last nerve.
Buffy tried not to scrunch up her face in an ‘ewww’ expression at the mention of Cordelia and Riley.
“Yeah, I’ll be too busy at my job,” she lied. Actually, she wasn’t expected at the Gallery except on Thursday, Saturday afternoon and then again on Monday morning. Instead of berating Angel for his non-support, Buffy asked innocently, “when do you leave for San Diego?”
Angel brooded for more then the usual alloted time then responded, “Thursday night. Riley and I were going to drive down and take Cordelia and you with us. Make a real turn around of it, thought you gals might like to see Sea World or something.”
Buffy couldn’t help it, she just had to roll her eyes in sarcasm, “so you and Retro Riley Finn thought that Cordy and I would be content to go see some dolphins do tricks? Watch you good old boys knock balls around the greens?”
It was his turn to roll his eyes and shake his head, “you know, Buff,” he mumbled, “it was just this kind of thing that your Mom pulled, that finally drove your Dad away from her and from Sunnydale.” Buffy had to think about this one, yeah, for like a nano second or so.
“No, Angel,” Buffy sighed, “my Mom didn’t drive my Dad away from SunnyD. I believe the real culprit was a dye job red-head named Candy, behind the wheel of a Mazda Miata that finally literally ‘drove’ my Dad away from Sunnydale. As I recall,” she continued snarkily, “the skank drove right up to our house on Revello Drive and……”
Angel interrupted her trip down memory lane, “so you’re not going to support me at the tournament?” he asked in disbelief.
“So you’re not going to support ‘me’ in my new job?” she retorted in even more disbelief. He couldn’t answer that; just hung his head down like a whipped puppy and couldn’t or wouldn’t even face her.
“Go to the tournie, Angel,” she muttered in defeat to him, “just go and have a real good time. I’ll go to my new job, enjoy the hell out of it and hope that my new boss, Oliva D’Brisset finds it in her heart to maybe treat me to a celebration on Thursday night.”
She felt so beaten down right now, so kicked and run over by her own husband. But without missing a beat, “Oh, Angel?” she called back to him, even as she walked away, “tell Cordy to say ‘hi’ to Shamu for me.”
Spike lay in his massive bed, feeling lost and alone without Buffy by his side
“I really need a healthy hobby,” he told himself. “Maybe I should start putting model airplanes together or something?” he laughed bitterly. He got up from the cold, lonely bed and found a pack of cigarettes on his coffee table.
“Wonder what’s going on in the Travers’ house tonight,” he asked himself for the hundreth time. A part of Spike wanted Buffy to be at peace in her own home, the other part wanted, no needed, for her to be at war with Angel.
“I wonder,” Spike said to thin air as he took another drag of his cigarette, “I wonder if Buffy knows how really devoted I am to her. That there’ll be no one else for me now that she’s back in my life?”
He took a swig of some Jack Daniels right from the bottle, “does she think of me in her pious, righteous marital bed? Does she think of me when that prick husband of hers is shaggin’ her senseless? Does she know how I restrain myself from going over there and kicking the fuckin’ door in to drag her out of that prison he’s built for her?”
He finished off the bottle and tossed it onto the couch next to him, “do you wonder what I’m doing when we’re not together, Princess,” he mumbled sadly as he stumbled back to bed.
Buffy lay in her big King sized bed and stared at the ceiling above her, more indifferent then ever to it.
“Wonder what Will’s doing?” she thought. “I wonder if he misses me at all?”
‘Of course he does you simpleton,’ bad Buffy voice whispered in her ear. ‘Don’t you get it yet, Buffy the Brainless?’ nasty little Buffy voice taunted.
‘Okay, girl,’ the annoying little voice continued, ‘I’ll spell it out for you…..L is for the way ‘he’ looks at you; O is for the only one who’s so true blue; V is very very extraordinary and E is even more then anyone you ‘think’ you adore! ‘And LOVE is all that William has for you….’
Buffy covered her ears with her pillow, “shooooshhh!” she whispered at the taunting little voice, “who said anything about LOVE anyway?”
‘He did,’ bad Buffy voice retorted, ‘you heard him, when you pretended to be asleep, remember? I certainly do!’
“Do you know how damned annoying you are bad Buffy voice?” the real Buffy asked in exasperation.
The next day, Angel left for the office way more then too early and Buffy had to accept the fact that her husband was pissed beyond words.
“Over what?” she thought indignantly, “me wanting to have a career? Keep busy? Have a life for God’s sake!”
At around 10:30 that morning, Buffy dialed Will’s cell phone number, again, a bit gun shy of calling a male at all.
“Giles” his masculine voice echoed over the line. “Will?” she asked shyly, “it’s Buffy.” She could ‘feel’ the change in the man’s demeanor in seconds, “Buffy, luv!” he purred, his silky voice sent shivers up her spine.
“I just wondered,” she stammered, “I mean about Thursday and all. Did you still want me to come over to you know, celebrate? I mean I don’t want to intrude or anything.”
He practically shouted his delight, “of course, Princess! I was even thinking that maybe we could ‘go out’ somewhere. Not some posh place, of course, know you wouldn’t want to be recognized, but maybe someplace more low key, like that bar that’s called Clems’?”
Buffy pondered this offer a moment, “yeah,” she sighed, “I’d like low key for once. But, do you think they’ll have those hot wing thingys you love?”
William chuckled low and soft, “I know they will, trust me, Princess,” he answered warmly. “And Buffy,” he added softly, “you could never be an intrusion.”
Again, Buffy and Angel succeeded, brilliantly, in avoiding each other all of Wednesday evening right on into Thursday morning. It was made simpler, by the fact that Angel didn’t even come up to sleep in their bed on Wednesday night, he sacked out in one of the guest rooms. Which was just fine by Buffy. When she awoke on Thursday morning, Angel had already left for work and left behind a note explaining his plans for the next two days:
‘Buffy,’ it began simply enough, ‘I’ll be back on Saturday afternoon. I’ve packed already and we’ll just be leaving this afternoon, around 3:00 PM, to drive to San Diego. I really wish you could have come with us, I’ll miss you and I’m sure that you and Cordy could have had a blast together. Try and ‘rethink’ this decision of yours and when I get back, we’ll talk.’ Love, Angel.
“Oh yeah, Angel,” Buffy hissed, “I’m sure Cordelia Chase and I could have a real hoot together. Maybe even discuss ‘your’ sexual techniques.”
After conjuring up that little scene, Buffy was more then pissed with her husband again, she was furious and couldn’t wait to ‘go out’ with Will that evening. Buffy was supposed to drive to a park close by Will’s place, where he’d pick her up and drive her to this Clem’s Bar. She had no idea why he liked this place so much, it seemed kind of rough to her, but she supposed he could handle himself in any situation. And, of course, there was no way in hell that anyone in this ‘pseudo biker bar’ would ever recognize her or know who she was married to.
Anyway, Buffy wanted to go out and have some fun, get loose and drink beer, maybe even play pool with Will and eat way too many of those hot wings he loved so. She would have to wear some nice pants to work, maybe a short sleeved sweater and her black satin like Gloria Vanderbilt pants and her leather boots. “That should be appropriate for work and just cool enough for Clems,” she reasoned happily.
Her first day at the Gallery was everything she had hoped it would be. Olivia was the utmost in cool, at least so far, and practically exhausted Buffy in just a couple of hours, showing her around the Gallery and explaining what was expected of her.
“I think you’re going to like it here, Buffy,” Olivia commented at the end of the day. “I think I’m going to love it here, Olivia!” Buffy responded enthusiastically.
When it was time to leave, Olivia told Buffy to have a good time at her celebration that night, with her husband. Buffy had told her that she was going out to celebrate her new job that night and Olivia just assumed it was with Angel.
“Yeah like Angel would ever celebrate this!” Buffy thought to herself as she drove to the park to meet William. He was waiting for her when she pulled into the designated spot for them to meet each other.
“Hi love,” he murmered softly, “you look great.”
Buffy really did look great to him, but she always did and she always did just what she was doing right this minute. Blushing like a school girl, looking at anything but at him, “hi Will,” she responded softly.
He held out his hand to her and she took it shyly to let him lead her to his Harley, ‘still shy with me,’ he chuckled to himself, ‘after everything we’ve done together, said to each other. God I love you, Buffy.’
She let him get on first, then slipped onto the seat behind him; he could feel her nervousness.
“Bike won’t bite, Princess, but I just might,” he laughed at her gasp and started the motorcycle, grateful for the tightness of her little arms about his waist. Halfway to the bar, Spike had an inner debate with himself. Either he would have to pull off somewhere and kiss Buffy senseless or he'd have to forcibly ‘move’ her hands up from where they were now settled.
Her tiny little hands weren’t exactly on his crotch, actually they were just above it. The problem was, Buffy only had to talk to him or be ten miles within his radar, and he got turned on, so having her warm hands on his stomach caused him to practically jump out of his skin. Fortunately, Clems was not too very far from there, so he just had to force himself to practice some self control and wait until later, when hopefully, he wouldn’t have to be so restrained with her.
“Uhm, Will,” Buffy stammered when they pulled in to the parking lot, “that’s an awful lot of bikes out here. You think we’ll be okay in there?”
Spike burst out laughing, “yes love, I think that we’ll be fine. I promise these guys won’t bite you, most of them have their wives or girlfriends with them. Anyway, you’re with me, I promise ‘no one’ will bother you. Except me of course,” he added with a smirk.
With a roll of her green eyes, she took his arm and reluctantly allowed him to lead her into the rather ‘rustic’ looking place.
“Oh,” she said, surprised when they stepped inside, “this isn’t so bad, is it? Do you come here often?” This time Spike just smiled and pulled her further into the well lit bar room, “not a lot, but let’s just say I know people here, and no, before you ask, ‘those’ people do not know you, promise.”
Two guys at the first pool table called out, “hey Spike,” and Buffy raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow at him, “I thought you didn’t come here ‘a lot’ she asked him skeptically.
“Coincidence,” he mumbled. “Hey Spike,” called another local from the bar, “who the hell is that?”
He felt Buffy stiffen slightly and began to wonder if this was such a good idea to have come here. “My girl,” he shot back, coolly, not even looking at the guy.
A loud burst of laughter broke out amongst five or six of the patrons, “Jesus, man, it’s about time! We were getting concerned about you. Jack over there had a bet going that you had a thing for Clem here!”
They began to laugh louder and Spike could feel the red heat of anger begin to creep up into his face.
“Bugger off, mate!” he growled back at them. Buffy squeezed his arm, “they’re just playing, Will,” she whispered, “please don’t start something. I wanna’ play pool and drink beer. It’s okay, I promise, just laugh along with them, for me.”
He stopped in his tracks and looked at her, ‘God, what a woman,’ he thought to himself in awe. “I’d walk through fire for you Buffy,” he whispered in her ear, then pulled her close and kissed her passionately.
Buffy was somewhat lost in the moment and didn’t hear the whistles and cheers from the crowd around her, right away that is.
“Oh shit, Will,” she hissed, “everyone’s watching us!” She pulled away quickly, but couldn’t help but giggle and blush, “I think these people like you Will,” she said softly, “they seem to be happy I’m here with you.”
Will smiled down at her, ignoring the loud laughter and good natured remarks of the patrons, “yeah, guess they do, Princess,” he murmered and nuzzled her forehead with his lips. A dark haired stocky man behind the bar, presumably Clem, piped up, “that’s enough, guys. We’ve all seen a lady before, let’s not act like a bunch convicts out on a pass from prison.”
The other customers seemed to accept what this guy had said and went back to their activities, not so much less loudly, but more focused on what they were doing. William led Buffy up to the bar, “this is Clem, Princess,” he introduced her to the apparent owner, “this is,” he hesitated, “my girl,” he finished abruptly.
“Hi Clem,” Buffy smiled at the serious looking man behind the bar.
“Hey, Spike’s girl,” he chuckled, shooting William a dubious look.
“Two Fosters on tap, nachos and those hot wing thingy’s,” Will ordered, winking at Buffy warmly. “Uhm, Will,” she whispered as Clem went to place the order to the kitchen, “I have to go to the potty, where is it?” She glanced around nervously, more then a little apprehensive to go into the bathroom, much less alone.
“Well,” he smiled, “the potty as you so charmingly put it, is right through that entryway there, by the phone. And don’t worry, I’ll watch you all the way to the door and back again, I cross my heart.”
He looked so serious, well kind of serious anyway, that Buffy had to stand on her tippy toes and kiss his cheek tenderly, “I know you will,” she murmered and headed to the ‘potty.’
Clem came back with the two mugs of beer and set them in front of Spike, careful not to spill any of the contents.
“So,” the shorter, darker man leaned over the bar and looked Spike straight in the eye, “you ever gonna’ tell ‘your girl’ that you own half this place?”
Spike glared at his best friend and business partner, “someday,” he grunted, “but not today mate.” The bar tender shrugged and concentrated on a spot on the bar between them. As he wiped the area slowly, he seemed to be deep in thought.
“Spike. Have you thought any more about what we discussed, I mean this plan of yours to get Buffy away from her husband?”
With a nod of his blond head, Spike sighed deeply, “yeah, I have, about a million times. But it’s like I said before Clem, it’s Buffy’s call and right now, she’s not givin’ me any ‘destroy Master Angel’ vibes. But when she does, mate, I’ll slip in and have me that one good day.”
Clem nodded his understanding, “yeah Angel O’Connor is a first class prick, that’s for sure. I never understood Buffy and him, she always seemed too smart to get taken in by him. You know, Buffy’s prettier then she was in College, not that she’d remember me or anything. My wife Sophie used to have a couple of art classes with her, always said that Buffy had a natural eye, or something like that.”
Spike sighed sadly, “yeah she did, but somewhere along the line, our Buffy got lost and forgot her dreams. Hopefully, she’s findin’ them again.”
“I want to dance!” Buffy was on her third beer, hadn’t touched the nachos or the hot wings and was feeling more then ‘happy’ right at the moment.
“I want to dance Will!” she cried a bit too loudly, even she knew that.
“Uh, love,” William was saying, much too softly for William really, “this isn’t The Bronze there’s no dance floor?” He gave her a kind of ‘are you okay’ look.
“Oh,” she pouted, “you’re right, there is not a freakin’ dance floor, is there?” Will was saying something about ‘eating’ something or something like that, “don’t want to,” Buffy whined, “I wanna dance, don’t care about a stupid dance floor!”
Some disembodied voices began to chant ‘yeah Spike, the lady wants to dance’ and ‘dance with her Spike’ someone else shouted ‘I’ll dance with her if you won’t, man.’
“Yeah, Spike!” Buffy giggled loudly, “Manny, Moe or Jack’ll dance with Buffy if you won’t!” Will was smiling at her now, his killer ‘I’m smirking at you love cos’ you’re making a total ass out of yourself but you are still adorable’ smile that she liked so much!
“Okay, Princess,” he chuckled, “we’ll dance, but then,” he added firmly, “you will eat something.”
“Okay, Will,” she sighed happily as she clasped his arm and let him lead her over to the ancient juke box against the wall.
“Why don’t you pick a song, Princess?” he purred in her ear. He watched as she scanned the selections before her, perfectly aware that she had no idea what any of this particular genre of music was.
“I don’t know any of these songs, Spikey,” she slurred, just slightly.
“I’ll pick the song,” he offerred galantly. Buffy nodded at him and whispered slyly, “something slow, Will. I want to have an excuse to snuggle up close to your killer body!”
Spike scanned the selections himself, finally coming to the perfect choice for both Buffy and him. He punched in the numbers and pulled her over to clearing in the barroom floor that had just magically appeared seconds before. Pulling her flush up to his body, he wrapped his arms about her tiny frame and prayed to God that he wouldn’t end up looking like a total ponce in front of everyone here:
(Miracles is by the Jefferson Starship; lyrics by Marty Balin)
‘If only you believe like I believe, baby
We’d get by
If only you believe in miracles, baby
So would I
If only you believe like I believe, baby
We’d get by
If only you believe in miracles, baby
So would I’
“Do you believe in miracles, Will?” she mumbled against his shoulder as they rocked to the slow beat of the song, one she’d never heard before.
“Occasionally,” he answered her simply.
‘I might have to move heaven and earth to prove
It to you, baby
So we’re makin’ love and you feel the power
And I feel the power
Then there’s really nothing that we can’t do
If we wanted to baby
We could exist on the stars
It’d be so easy
All we gotta do
Is get a little faith in you’
“I believe in miracles, Will,” she sighed dreamily, “but then again, I still believe there might be a Santa Claus and even an Easter Bunny!”
Spike grasped her even tighter, “you believe in anything you want Princess,” he murmered.
‘Oh I’ve been (to) so many places
I’ve seen some things
I know, love is the answer
Keeps holding this world together
Ain’t nothing better
Ain’t nothing better
And all the answers to our prayers
Hell, it’s the same everywhere, baby
Nothing ever breaks up the heart
Only tears give you away’
“I believe in you Will,” Buffy whispered, a lone tear trickled down her cheek and
onto William’s shoulder.
She felt him slowly run his hands down her back to the hem of her sweater and slip just one of them up under the soft fuzzy material, “I believe in you too, Buffy,” he cooed, nuzzling her hair with his mouth.
‘Then you’re right where I found ya
With my arms around ya
Oh baby, baby, baby, love is a magic word, yeah
Few ever find in a lifetime
But from that very first look in your eyes
I knew you and I had but one heart
Only our bodies were apart
(and that made me crazy)
That was so easy, so easy
I had a taste of the real world
When I went down on you, girl’
“When we leave here, Will,” Buffy purred in his ear, can we go to ‘our pond’ and cuddle all night? Angel’s gone until Saturday, can we Will? Just you and me go? I promise I’ll eat some hot wingy things and nachos and won’t drink another sip of beer.”
She felt him tense when she mentioned Angel’s name, but then Will just relaxed completely in her arms. “Yeah, we can do that sweetheart,” he whispered in her ear, causing a tingly sensation to shoot down into her neck, “all night he rasped.” .
‘I can hear windmills and rainbows
Whenever you’re talkin’ to me
I feel like swirling and dancin’
Whenever you’re walking with me
You ripple like a river when I touch you
When I pluck your body like a string
When I start dancin’ inside ya
Oh, baby, you make me wanna sing
Yeah, baby, baby, baby, baby
Oh yeah, all right!
“Buffy,” Will murmered so low she could barely hear it above
the song and noise of the bar. “I love you, you know.”
She could feel
a wetness on her face and knew those tears weren’t her own. “I know,” she whispered back, “thank you Will.”
‘Oh, Baby we’re sure doin’ it tonight
Everytime you come by, let me try
Pretty, please with sugar on it
That’s how I like it
I can’t even believe it with you
It’s like having every dream I ever wanted
Come true
I picked up your vibes
You know it opened my eyes
But I’m still dreamin’ yeah
And you’re right where I found ya
With my arms around ya.’
When the song finally ended, Spike looked down at Buffy who seemed to be in some kind of a daze or something her eyes closed tight and a smile of contentment on her lush lips. He glanced around the bar to find most of the patrons watching them intently, almost as equally mesmerized by the couple on the makeshift dance floor.
Somewhere from behind Buffy and him, somebody, Spike suspected Clem, started to clap slowly, setting off a chain reaction from the whole bar, male and female, of claps and whistles. Buffy snapped to and glanced around, the bright red blush on her face signalled the end of their little dance interlude together.
“Come on Princess,” he murmered, “let’s go get you something to eat.”
She nodded at him, “I’m hungry Will,” she sighed, “but we’re still going to our pond, right?”
Spike sat in a booth away from the crowd and pulled her onto his lap. “Oh, yeah, love,” he assured her, “we’re still going to our pond.”
A/N: Is anyone still reading this chapter? Please don’t think that Buffy is going ‘the 3 Faces of Eve’ on us (the bad Buffy voice) it’s just a way for me to vocalize or visualize her inner conversation. I know the dance scene was a bit hokey, but hey, I’m hokey, okay? Please review if you would like to, constructive criticism and all that! Thanks, Luv, Spuf
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