Chapter 29: ‘Beneath You’
A/N: After writing some pretty angstsy stuff on my other fic, I had to sit back and just go with flow on this chapter, here. I promised angst, but this is only semi-angst! Thanks, Luv, Spuf
In the end, Buffy was the only one who hit the ice at the Oxnard skating rink. Literally, the rink was completely dark when they got inside and she wondered if she’d be able to skate at all.
“It looks closed, Will,” she whispered, rather dissapointed as they entered the cold, empty dome, hand in hand.
“It’s okay, luv,” he assured her, patting her hand, “I’ve got it on good authority that this rink is definitely open, for you that is.”
Buffy shot Will a ‘huh’ look, but followed him over to where a little old man sat, playing solitaire of all things. If she didn’t know better, she’d thought that this guy was just waiting for them.
“Mr. Giles?” the old guy asked, confirming her suspicions. “That’s me, mate,” he chuckled, pulling out his wallet and dropping a Master Card on the small table the man had his cards laid out on.
“I had to search pretty hard, Mr. Giles,” the old man chuckled, “but I finally found a size five pair skates. Cleaned them, sterilized them, just like you ordered. Hope the Mrs. And you enjoy the rink all to yourself!”
Apparently, Will had arranged this little escapade completely, even having the old guy open the rink, which normally would have been closed at this time. Before she could say anything about it, Will motioned her to sit down on a bench and began to unzip the leather boots she wore, only to replace them with the skates he’d had provided.
Without looking up at her, he mumbled lowly, “don’t ask, just skate, okay, Princess?”
She nodded then thought better of it, “okay,” she responded softly, “but I don’t know Will, I haven’t done this in years, I’m not sure if…..”
He smiled up at her, “I’m sure enough for both of us, just skate for me Buffy, please.”
‘Who in the heck could turn down that?’ she asked herself. When he’d laced her skates up, she stood, a little shakily on them, trying to remember the ‘feel’ of the them. Heck she was just trying not to fall on her butt at this point.
For the first thirty minutes, Buffy just skated around the rink, very carefully, while Will watched intently, a pleased smile on his lips. When she passed by him, for the tenth time, at least, she slid over to where he sat on the bench, right next to the ice.
“Sure you don’t want to join me?” she asked, coquettishly.
“Hell no!” he laughed, “Buffy I’d kill myself, honest. I just want to see you enjoy yourself, so go and enjoy already.” By the time an hour had gone by, Buffy was thrilled to find that she could actually do some simple leaps and bounds, even a couple of cautious spins. Finally, all pooped out from the joy the whole experience had brought her and very tired from trying to just stay on her fee, Buffy skated over to her lover.
“That’s enough Will,” she panted, her breaths showed in tiny streams of fog between them. “I’m just too out of practice for this, too out of shape.”
William smiled at her warmly, “you were fantastic, Princess,” he said warmly. “But if you want to stop, that’s okay, we have someplace to be in another city, anyway. Come on then." He offerred her his hand and pulled her up onto the stand area so she could remove her skates and they could leave.
A little while later, Buffy and Spike were driving north, back up the 101 highway, past Sunnydale, past Santa Barbara and even passing up the beautiful San Luis Obispo area.
“Just where are we going,Will?” Buffy asked innocently, snuggling up against next to him in the car.
“San Simeon,” he answered simply, keeping his attention on the road ahead of him, even though it was near impossible with Buffy so ‘close’ at his side.
“San Simeon!” she gasped excitedly, bringing another smile to his face.
“Someone told me about this really great beach house to rent, right on the shore of the ocean. So I rented it, for tonight, would have done the whole week but I know you have to be back to the Gallery tomorrow evening and all.” He was very pleased with himself indeed, when he saw the happy look on his Buffy’s pretty face.
Buffy wriggled around in the DeSoto’s front seat, unable to contain her glee at going to San Simeon for the night. She hadn’t been there since she was a young girl, it was one of the places her Daddy used to take her Mom and her, that is before he left them, permanently. San Simeon was one of the most beautiful places along the coast of California and certainly rich in history, abundant in art lore. Hearst Castle, the ‘ranch’ of the William Randolph Hearst family, was nestled up in the rolling hills that ran right along the coastline. Of course the Hearst family had turned over the old estate years ago to the State of California, but they still owned a lot of the surrounding acres, even continuing the ranch activities that old man Hearst had loved so much in his lifetime.
“Can we see the Castle, Will?” she cried enthusiastically, “do you think we can get in?” The ‘Castle’ which was really an elegant ranch house, was replete with artistic treasures, rare statues and gorgeous architecture, mixed up into a conglomeration that somehow ‘worked.’
“Course we’re going to the Castle, for you luv,” he chuckled, squeezing her tightly to him, “wouldn’t let you miss it.”
Buffy felt silly but she couldn’t resist clapping her hands together, just like she did when Daddy Hank had taken her there, years before. Suddenly, she fell very silent, something was niggling the back of her mind and she was pretty sure of just what it was.
“Will,” she whispered as they drove through the quaint little village of Cambria, “thank you for everything. For the skating, this, just everything. It means so damn much to me, I can’t even tell you how much.” She felt the threat of tiny tears at the corner of her eyes and tried to brush them away, somewhat embarrassed.
“It’s okay, Princess,” he murmered, tightening his grip on her shoulders even more, “anything for you.”
Buffy was in ‘Heaven’ at least for her. They had booked two tours in the ‘Castle’ and Buffy was simply estatic with both of them. Tour Two took them through some of the guest rooms of ‘La Cuesta de Encantada’ the other name of the Castle. This also included various works of art that Mr. Hearst loved and collected, then there was the baroque ceilings in the various rooms they toured. The tapestries alone could keep Buffy busy for a week, just trying to take all of them in. When that tour was finished, William hurried her to the Tour Four encounter, which ended up at Buffy’s other love, ‘the Wine Celler.’ By the time they finished with their tours and were heading back down the winding road to the highway, it was after 5:00 PM.
“Hungry?” Will asked, probably fully knowing the answer to that.
“Famished!” Buffy squealed in response, still reeling from the beauty she’d just experienced, “can we get a pizza, Will?”
“Okay,” he laughed, “pizza it is, but from where?” They looked around the rather isolated town of San Simeon, someplace that appeared to ‘roll up the sidewalks’ by sundown.
“Hmmmm,” Buffy squinted looking around for any signs of a Pizza Hut or some other place that offerred her beloved dish. “I don’t think we’re getting pizza tonight, Will,” she pouted, “but hey, there’s always Mexican food!”
She pointed to an adobe like building that advertised the best Mexican food and cactus margueritas in the County, so Will pulled in. The host seated them and brought them bright shiny menus, ones that advertised all kinds of Spanish delicacies.
“Your Senora is muy bonita, Senor,” the youngish waiter grinned at Will and winked at Buffy.
“Don’t I know it mate,” Will chuckled, good-naturedly, in response.
When they’d finished their meal and their ‘Cactus Maggies’ Buffy and Spike drove to the beach house that he had rented. He watched her scurry about the place, excitedly, running from point to point, unable to stand or sit still for even a second.
“Oh, Will!” she cried happily, “it’s right on the beach, just like you said!” She threw open the shuttered doors that led to the private veranda, “God I love this place!” she shouted out to the ocean, causing Spike to join her on the balcony of their place.
“God, I love you, Buffy,” he murmered softly in her ear.
“I know,” she mumbled, accepting his arms about her, leaning back into his chest. Some local teens, or maybe even surfers had started a bonfire on the beach, just yards from their balcony and it lit up the shore and part of the now midnight blue sky like fireworks.
“Will,” she whispered, staring out at the scene in front of them, “I think maybe we better get some things cleared up. Things from the past and all.”
She felt him tense up, but continued, “it’s important that we talk about what happened, you know, back then in High School. I need to tell you some things and you need to know about them.”
If he was wary, he didn’t show it, just stood behind her, his muscular arms held her in an embrace.
“About that night, at Delta Kai, I mean,” she began. “You don’t have to explain Buffy, I understand, really,” he assured her.
“No, you don’t,” she stated sternly. “I don’t think you understand at all, I certainly didn’t, not until a few years ago, so please, just let me tell it to you.”
“Back then,” she sighed, snuggling even further into William, “we were all friends, just that, right?” She felt him nod in agreement against the back of her head. “You and Angel,” she began, then paused, “I have to mention Angel in this Will. He’s really a big part of all this past history for both of us and I’m going to have to mention him, okay?”
Will nodded again, silently.
“Anyway, you and Angel were like ‘Immortals; like Gods’ to me Will. Needless to say, your reputations, with the girls that is, preceeded both of you. While I was in awe of you guys, I was also more then intimidated by you both. You could have any girls you wanted, any of them and I’m sure you both did. But for all of your macho bravado and egotistical swaggers, I knew in my heart that you both ‘cared’ for me, at least in a kind of little sister way.”
“One night,” she continued, “when you weren’t with us, the regular group that is, probably out getting laid in the back of your car or something.”
Buffy felt Will flinch and nuzzle his lips into her hair, “it’s okay,” she chuckled, “if I was more bold or experienced back then, I’d certainly have been the one in the back seat with you, okay. Anyway, suffice to say, you weren’t with us that night. Angel, me, Willow, Xander, even Cordelia, Holden and Amy, gosh even Harmony and Devon Siles were together, in the Harris basement. We’d been drinking, heavily, for us and decided to play a game of ‘spin the bottle/go in the closet.’ It was Angel’s turn to spin and as fate would have it, the bottle landed on ‘me.’ So, true to the rules of the game, we went into the stupid closet together.”
“I was completely clueless, of course, as to what I was supposed to do with Angel in there. After all, my previous boyfriend turned out to be gay in the end and all’s he’d ever done was kissed me and felt me up once or twice. Angel, drunk as he was and experienced as he was was up for more then a few kisses and gropes, you know?”
Again, William tensed up, but mumbled something about her going on with the story.
“Angel had me pinned to the closet wall within seconds and had moved from kissing to assaulting my body within minutes. What was I supposed to do? I had no idea what this hot, experienced guy wanted, so I just went with the flow and kissed him back, a few times, let him feel me up, which did nothing for me, really, and groaned at what I thought was the appropriate times.
Apparently, Angel caught on to me, my real disinterest and pushed me away, non too gently saying; and I’ll never forget this one….
‘you’ve got a lot to learn about men, kiddo!’
I rushed out of the closet, promising myself I’d never talk about this humiliation to anyone, least of all Angel, who never even remembered that night, ever. He’d been too drunk at the time.”
“I’m listening, Princess,” Spike whispered, “but I don’t see how this pertains to us and that night at the frat bash.”
Buffy clutched his hand, the one resting on her shoulder, tightly. “It’s really simple, Will,” she mumbled, “when you followed Riley and me up the stairs, all in the name of nobility and everything, you were my white knight, my champion. Then, later, I mean when it got all ‘hot and heavy’ between us, I couldn’t help but think of Angel and me, in that disgusting little closet together. His words cut me like a knife, even when it was you and me, together. I never felt like I was above you Will, I felt like I wasn’t good enough for you, I was beneath you. I’d see that look of dissapointed contempt in your beautiful blue eyes and feel even worse about myself then I had with Angel.”
Spike felt like he couldn’t breathe, for about a minute or so, then he released his breath in relief. “So now, Angel and the Chase bitch?” he asked.
“Just a reminder of what a loser I am, Will,” she answered, letting the tears come now, freely. “I mean, if Angel after six years of marriage finds me wanting, what’s going to happen to you and me? How soon until you find me, you know, beneath you, unsatisfactory as a lover…”
“Fuck Angel!” he hissed, spinning her around to face him. “Fuck him and his bullshit mind games. You’re not beneath me, Buffy,” Will insisted, desperately, “you’re everything to me. You’re everything any sane man could want in a lover; warm, responsive and very, very sexy, I swear to God, Buffy! And for the record, I haven’t been with anyone else since you and me got together, no matter how fucked up that was!”
He pulled her so close and held her so tightly that she found it hard to breathe. “I love you Buffy,” he declared again, “I’ve loved you since, well since a long time ago and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let that prick of a husband of yours convince you that the fault is in you. It’s him, Princess, he’s a fuckin’ monster, a number one loser and an all round menace to society. I love you,” he whimpered, clutching her desperately, “I love you so much!”
Buffy buried her face into Will’s chest and let the tears flow even more, “I need you, Will,” she rasped, “need you so very much.”
They stumbled, together, off of the balcony, through the front area and into the bedroom of the beach house, kissing each other on the way.
“I need you,” Buffy gasped, pulling at Will’s clothes frantically.
“I love you,” he rasped back, “God I love you so much!” He ripped her top off of her and pushed her down onto the bed, gently as he was capable of, and fell down on top of her.
“Want you,” he mumbled against her mouth, “want you too,” she responded, pulling his body as close to her as she could.
“Fuck me!” she commanded him, yanking his unzipped jeans down below his slim hips.
“Gladly,” he responded as he ripped her thong off of her and enthusiastically thrust into her.
“Oh, God, Will!” she cried out as her lover slammed into her body with all the force he could. “Tell me!” he ordered her now, “tell me what you want!”
Buffy matched Will’s pants and his rythm, thrust for thrust, “I want this,” she moaned, her voice husky with pleasure. “I want this and you and everything you can give me, Will!”
He pounded into her, “who do you want, Buffy?” She began to kiss his mouth, his jaw, his neck, “you! Only you, Will! I only want you fucking into me, giving me everything you can, all that you can! Dance with me, Will! Please don’t ever leave me!”
William stopped thrusting long enough to look her straight in the eye, “I’ll never leave you. I’d take a stake in my heart first, Princess!” Then he began to dance with her even more.
The next day, on the way home, Buffy and Spike were silent, for most of the time anyway. By the time they’d reached her Camaro, parked at the little strip mall, they had pretty much come to a mutual agreement, silently, if not verbally. Buffy would want only him and visa versa, and he’d never leave her, excpet unless he died first. It was a pact they’d made during sex, but a pact it was and as good as any legal contract, as far as they were concerned anyway. The night before had been an epiphany of sorts, especially for Buffy and she had let herself go totally, more so then with anyone else, ever. Even Angel.
When they got to her car, Spike sighed, wistfully, “do you think that you could see me tonight?” he asked. Buffy looked at him shyly and smiled, “yeah, spose I could,” she purred, giving him a quick peck on the lips.
“See you tonight, luv,” he called to her as she took off in her car.
For the couple of days, Buffy and Spike fell into a routine. She went to work, he did what he did for work and they got together at his place at night. Buffy always checked in at home, careful to make sure that her husband was placated as to her whereabouts, who she was with and all.
On Thursday night, Buffy and Will lay in his bed, sated from sex and just talking together like lovers tend to do when she sat up looked at her picture above his dresser.
“I want to go see my Mom,” she stated matter-of-factly, “I need to see her and talk to her.”
William set up next to her and wrapped his arms about her body, “okay, luv, I’ll take you up, tomorrow if you want,” he offerred.
“Don’t have to, I can drive myself,” she responded with a pout.
“Of course I don’t have to, Princess,” he kissed her cheek, “I just want to, that’s all.”
Buffy pondered his offer for a moment or two then sighed, “yeah, I want you to, Will. Can we leave first thing tomorrow morning?”
A/N: All right, in the infamous words of Thursten Howell III, ‘hey luvies!’ on a scale of 1 to 10 in the Spuffy realm, this was a angst reading of about 3 for me, maybe less. That means, that future chapters will be much more angst ridden, just a warning from the authoress! I tweaked the ‘Beneath You’ from the show to make it about Buffy’s insecurities, instead of insults on Spike. Thanks for reading my silly little fic and please review if you can! Love you all, Spuf
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Yes, I've decided start submitting the remainder of this fiction here. I know it didn't garner much interest before, but I feel I should finish it up, once and for all.
If I don't get at least one or two reviews for this chapter, or the next? I'm going to delete it from the site, completely. Only because I hate to waste the space for other writers here.
Thanks.
Thank you, Luv, Spuf
If I don't get at least one or two reviews for this chapter, or the next? I'm going to delete it from the site, completely. Only because I hate to waste the space for other writers here.
Thanks.
Thank you, Luv, Spuf