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Author's Chapter Notes:
A/N: Thank you for reading this fic. Thank you for the reviews. It has inspired me to finish submitting the story here.
Luv, Spuf
Chapter 36: ‘Because She Loves Him’


Summary: As Buffy’s health and Spike’s mental health deteriorates, three of their friends cook up a plan to reunite the couple.


Buffy sat on Tara and Willow’s couch, a mug of Tara’s hot herbal tea clutched in her hands. Willow had stopped at some DVD rental place and picked up a couple of movies for them to watch; ‘Simply Irresistable’ and ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer’ two of Buffy’s favorites.

The red head had also stopped at the DoubleMeat Palace and bought a ton of greasy burgers, fries and onions rings, like Olivia had said, Buffy was skin and bones.

Around 8:00 PM, Angel called the apartment to talk to Buffy, but Willow told him she was sleeping, “she’s really ill, Angel,” Willow lied, well kind of lied. Buffy was ill, it was true, but a ‘love sickness’ is something that cannot be explained away and maybe cannot be cured.

What Buffy needed was William Giles and visa versa, to cure them both; the only problem was, this illness might be fatal to both of them.

“We’ll make up the couch for your bed, honey,” Willow told her, heading to the linen closet for some bed clothes, “is that okay?”

Buffy just nodded and kept watching Sarah Michelle Gellar make and ass out of herself over some random guy in Simply Irresistable.

“Oh, Will’s,” she suddenly cried out, “I love this song!” ‘Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered came on in the closing credits causing Tara and Willow to snuggle up on the couch together with Buffy.

As if on cue, the three young women began to sing out the lyrics, trying to do their best to sound like Kim Novak in ‘Pal Joey’:

‘I’m wild again,
beguiled again

A simpering, whimpering
Child again, bewitched, bothered
And bewildered, am I’

‘Couldn’t sleep, and
wouldn’t sleep when love
came and told me
I shouldn’t sleep’

‘Bewitched, bothered
and bewildered, am I’

Suddenly, Buffy stopped singing and got the saddest look on her face, one that matched the sadness in her heart., one she couldn’t hide from the two other women.

Tara jumped up and pulled Willow with her, “we should get to bed now, Wills,” she said, “school tomorrow and Buffy needs some sleep.”

Willow leaned down and hugged Buffy tightly, “it’s gonna’ be okay, Buff, I promise,” she whispered into her ear. Buffy just nodded her head and mumbled a good night to the two women, then got up and went into the bathroom to wash her flushed face.

She looked into the bathroom mirror and for the first time noticed how gaunt her face truly looked, “I look like walking death!” she gasped, stunned.

“Will must have been shocked to see me like this! I’ve got to pull it together.”

For a minute or two, Buffy pondered the day, her feelings for Will, Tara, Willow’s and Olivia’s generosity, “I’m going to go see my Mom,” she decided. “I’ll drive up in a couple of days, have a real heart to heart with her, again, she’ll know how to help me cope with this.”

The next day, Buffy reluctantly went home to Angel, praying he would not bother her about her ‘illness’ or anything that had happened the day before.

When she got home, of course he was at work, which was just fine with her. Buffy shuffled into her bedroom, stripped down and then drew some bath water.

After she soaked for a while in a nice warm tub, she got out and dried off, then snuck another one of Angel’s sleeping pills, ‘gotta’ get some real sleep,’ she told herself, ‘I’ve got to pull it together and get back on track.’ Once she had dried off, drank a ton of water and slipped on a pair of silk pajamas, Buffy slipped into her bed sheets and closed her eyes. Immediately, she was sound asleep, dreaming of Will.

Since that day at Buffy’s Gallery, Spike had gone home, stayed drunk, again, and holed up in his apartment for over three days. He had not done a damn thing to make arrangements to leave Sunnydale and Buffy behind, he just hadn’t been able to bring himself to do it.

‘She looked like walking death,’ he reminded himself, opening yet another beer and picturing Buffy in his mind. Buffy had lost weight, something she definitely didn’t need to do and her skin was so pale, there were dark bluish rings under her eyes and everything.

“She’s miserable,” he hissed out loud, “fuckin’ miserable as I am, all signs point to it. Yet she turns me away, rejects me. I just don’t bloody get it.”

He picked up his remote, flipping through the cable channels, randomly, settling on some stupid TBS movie playing.

“Oh bloody hell!” he groaned, “Summer Catch? Freddie Prinz Jr. is such a….” A knock came at his front door.

“No one’s home!” he shouted, turning up the volume on the moronic movie just to drown out the persistent knocking.

“It’s Clem,” came the deep voice of his friend and business partner, “open the door Spike. We’ve got something to tell you.”

‘We?’ Spike wondered curiously, “we who?” he barked out, pulling on his shirt over his jeans.

“Well, you stubborn SOB,” Clem barked back, “if you’d open your damn door, you’d find out. But, I’ll tell you out of the goodness of my heart. It’s Willow Rosenberg, her friend Tara McClay and me of course, the only friend you’ve got in the world. You better open the door, Spike,” he threatened, “I think you’ll want to hear what the two ladies have to tell you.”

Willow Rosenberg spoke up from outside the door, “it’s about Buffy, Spike,” she called, “we need to straighten some things out about her. Please let us in, okay?”

Spike stumbled to the door, glancing around to make sure that the apartment was at least presentable to guests. ‘What the hell?’he wondered to himself.

Spike let Willow, Tara and Clem into his apartment, reluctantly, wondering what the hell any of them had to tell him about Buffy.

‘Okay,’ he reasoned, ‘Willow is Buffy’s best friend right? And this Tara must be Willow’s girl so I guess maybe they do have something to say about Buffy?’

“Hi, Spike,” Willow greeted, “long time no see, this is my girlfriend Tara McClay. We called Clem, asked him to bring us here; we need to talk Spike, about Buffy.”

Spike nodded at this Tara bird, glared at Clem in embarrassment and smiled at Willow, “good to see you Red,” he responded with mock gruffness.

“Hi, Sp…Spike,” Tara smiled shyly, “I’ve heard a lot about you, from your Buffy that is.”

‘Buffy?’ Spike questioned silently, ‘so Buffy told Willow and this Tara about us? Now I’m compeltely confused.’

“Sit down then,” Spike motioned to the couch, he and Clem took the two chairs.

“I’m going to cut to the chase here, Spike,” Willow began, her face tinged with a blush, “Buffy told Tara and me everything about you and Buffy, I mean the parts that she could tell that is.”

The red-head blushed profusely, causing Clem and Spike to chuckle.

“That’s how we, Tara and me knew to get in touch with Clem to find you,” Willow continued quickly, keeping her focus on Tara. “Buffy told us all about the bar, the pond, hope that was all right, how you two got together….”

Again, Willow and Tara both blushed, but the blond girl nudged her girlfriend and encouraged her to continue.

“Anyway, she also told us about your ‘break-up’ and why and everything…..”

Here, Spike broke in gruffly, “why? Because she bloody well doesn’t love me, she loves that fuckin’ moron she’s married to!”

Willow and Tara gasped and Clem glared at Spike, “Geez, man, crude much! Do you ever think before you open your mouth and speak, Spike? Why do you think these ladies came all the way over here to ‘tell’ you something, because you’re such a good host?”

Spike sat back down and hung his head, ashamed for his outburst and language, “sorry,” he mumbled lowly, “go ahead, Red.”

Tara spoke up this time, “it’s okay, Sp..Spike,” she stuttered softly, “we know y..you love Buffy and how hard this is for b…both of you.” She then nodded at Willow, patting her leg with her hand, “go on sweetie,” she told her.

Willow took a deep breath, it appeared to Spike that she was concentrating on each word she had to say to him.

“Spike,” she began, almost in a whisper, “Buffy is miserable without you. I want you to understand this, it’s important that you realize just how much she, well, she misses you and needs you in her life. Please don’t say anything until I finish because this is really hard for me, Spike, honest, for Tara and me both. Clem was nice enough to bring us here, knowing how much you love Buffy and frankly, I shouldn’t say this, Buffy should, but she ‘does’ love you Spike, so much.”

When Willow told Spike that, he smiled softly, ‘yeah, I know she does Red, so how come she left me?’

He was so confused by now, that he couldn’t vocalize anything, just nodded his blond head and tried to understand what Red and her girl were trying to tell him.

“Buffy fell apart after you left the Gallery the other day. Olivia was so worried she called Tara and I to come get her and take her home,so we did, to our place.”

Spike flinched, remembering again how thin poor Buffy was, how pale and tired, “is she all right, Red?” he asked worriedly.

“No,” Willow answered honestly, “like I said, Spike, she’s miserable without you.”

‘Then how come she’s not with me?’ he asked himself again, “why doesn’t she want me anymore?” he asked Willow, his voice sounded like a small boys and he was ashamed of himself.

“She does want you, Spike, she does, but something happened, or should I say someone happened and Buffy felt like she ‘had’ to break it off with you. Not because of Angel, Spike, I mean that.”

Now he was even more confused, what or who had convinced Buffy to stop seeing him, now, when they were so close to being able to be together.

‘Who?’ he asked Willow silently.

Willow was quiet for a moment, she looked as if she was considering ‘not telling’ Spike who was behind all this, then, “I’ll tell you Spike, but you have to promise me something. Give me your word you won’t go after this person, hurt them, or harrass them. If you don’t promise and I trust your word Spike, but if you don’t promise me? I won’t explain another thing.”

She looked at him so seriously that Spike almost laughed, but he was too uneasy to even chuckle at the moment, ‘it better not be who I think it is,’ he warned his inner being, afraid that it was exactly that moron behind all this.

“Promise,” he told her, his jaw clenched tightly.

“Xander Harris threatened Buffy that he would tell Angel everything about you and her. Then for good measure he reminded poor Buffy that Angel wasn’t above hurting not only you guys, but Buffy’s mom. He even mentioned Ethan Rayne and his connection to your sister, their baby and your Mother, Spike.”

Willow shook her head sadly, “I can’t believe Xander would do this, it’s just not him at all.”

Spike was on his feet and headed to his front door, bike keys in hand, the minute Willow had said the name ‘Xander Harris.’

Clem leapt up to stop him, grabbing him by the arms, “no way, man,” the shorter dark haired man hissed, “you promised, Spike, swore. It’s not going to do any good to go after Harris.”

“Let me go, Clem,” Spike growled dangerously, “I’m gonna’ go rip that fuck’s head off and drop kick it into the Pacific Ocean, then I’m going to tear the rest of his worthless corpse into little pieces and…..”

Tara stood up, she’d been silent most of the time but now she said plenty.

“No you’re not, Sp..Spike,” she said with determination, “you pro..promised Willow you’d leave Xander alone, and I know you wouldn’t lie. Especially if you know it’ll just kill B..Buffy if anything happens to you or your family and her own. Pl…Please, please try to calm down, besides, Xander is gone. We, Willow and m…me, sent him away, out of town, that is.”


Spike stopped struggling with Clem long enough to ask Tara just how Willow and her had accomplished ‘sending’ Xander Harris out of town.

“Well, at the risk of sounding like a bad mobster movie,” Willow piped up, “we made him an offer he couldn’t refuse. He won’t be back to Sunnydale for a while, that should give you and Buffy plenty of time to work things out and make some decisions. Say it’s enough Spike, please. If you go after Xander, Angel will find out everything, I’m sure of it from what Buffy told me, it won’t do any of you any good. So please, Spike, let Xander go, for now, anyway.”

Spike just nodded, but he was still picturing Xander’s bloody head flying into the Pacific Ocean.

“Buffy doesn’t’ know we’re here, Spike,” Willow continued as he and Clem sat down once again on the chairs.

“You have to understand, Buffy is terrified of Angel and now Xander, too. Although Xander is gone and Angel is clueless, it’s going to take some pretty major work to get Buffy to meet with you and work all this out. I hope you understand, Spike, it’s really tough for Tara and me to try and help Buffy and you get back together. Neither of us are really big on seeing Buffy threaten her so called marriage, but, Angel has been awful to her, yes, we know about that too. And, there’s the fact that Buffy and you love each other, it makes her happy to have you in her life. I want Buffy to be happy, Spike, she means so much to me and she’s always supported my decisions, helped me get through my miserable childhood.”

Here Willow clasped Tara’s hand warmly, “Buffy is a good friend, Sp…Spike,” Tara added, “she’s always been there for Willow, we want to help her now.”

Spike sat quietly, for once, thinking about what the two women and Clem had said, done for Buffy and him by telling him all this.

“Thanks, Red, Tara,” he mumbled softly, “I promise you both, I’ll try and make Buffy as happy as humanly possible.”

Buffy sat in the back of Willow’s Altima and watched the scenery as they drove out of Sunnydale, north to Santa Barbara. She was really happy that Wills and Tara had offered to go with her to Joyce’s house, frankly, she enjoyed the company, although the drive wasn’t long. The only thing was, Willow seemed intent on taking a rather long way around to get to the main highway north.

“I haven’t been out this way in ages, Buff,” Willow had mumbled from the front seat, “just wanted to see it again.” With a shrug, Buffy went back to her thoughts, wondering what her Mother was going to say when she told her ‘almost everything’ about the past few months, even about Xander and his sudden personality swing.

‘I guess I can finally tell Mom that I do love William,’ she sighed sadly, ‘too bad it’s way too late now.’

Snapping out of her sad reverie, Buffy realized that Willow was driving right towards the place where the Inn that she and Will had spent their first night together was.

‘Oh, God,’ she sighed to herself, ‘I don’t think I can look at it as we pass it. It’ll break my heart again, I miss him so much even if….’

Suddenly, Willow turned quickly into the parking lot of the Inn and pulled up to the back area. Buffy was shocked to see Will’s motorcycle there, right in the same spot it had been the first time.

“Willow,” she gasped with panic, “what the hell is this? Why are we here, why’s William here? I don’t understand, what’s….”

Tara turned around, smiling softly and reaching over the seat to take Buffy’s arm in hers, “it’s ok..kay, Buffy. Sp..Spike is here to talk to you.”

Willow joined her girlfriend and smiled warmly, although blushing, at Buffy, “it’s true Buff,” she added, “we told Spike everything and cooked up this little trip to your Mom’s to cover for you with Angel.”

“Oh my God! My Mom, she…..”

Willow chuckled softly, “knows your not coming to see her Buff.”

At that moment, Buffy didn’t know if she was relieved, scared, happy or a little pissed at the two girls over the spy games, but she quickly decided that she was thrilled.

“What about Xander?” she muttered, terrified that he might find out.

“Xander is no longer involved in any of this, Buffy,” Willow responded softly, “he’s not even in Sunnydale right now. Tara’s Uncle Ronald has a construction company in LA, he’s working on a major job.”

Willow clasped Tara’s hand in hers, “she asked her Uncle to hire on Xander as a subcontractor. Xander couldn’t turn it down so he’s gone, for at least a month. I encouraged him to ‘get away’ from Sunnydale for a while, and he actually listened to me. He won’t be around to bother anyone anymore.”

Buffy was stunned, she couldn’t believe her friends had gone to so much trouble for her. As if they read her mind, Willow and Tara reminded her what a good friend Buffy had been, especially to Willow over the years.

“We love you Buff,” Willow said shyly, “we want you to be happy too.”

“I’ll never forget this,” Buffy murmered, leaning over the seat, hugging both women together. “You guys are the best and I love you both,” she added, “thank you. I really love him, Wills,” Buffy finished looking at the door, #7, “I just wish I’d have realized that he was the long haul guy a long time ago.”

Tara just patted Buffy’s arm gently, Willow said, “your guy’s waiting, go on Buffy. And please, Buffy,” she stammered, “tell Spike you love him this time, don’t let another chance go by. Life’s too short to let happiness slip away and he so needs to hear that you love him. Okay?”

Buffy didn’t even try to stop the tiny tears that formed in her eyes, “I’ll tell him first thing, Wills, I promise. And thank you,” she whispered hugging Willow and Tara again before she hopped out of the car. Buffy waved goodbye to the two women. Taking a deep breath, she knocked softly on door #7.


A/N: Okay, now that was just hokey, I know! Couldn’t resist all the sappy stuff. Does anyone reading this get that I’m not a big Jr. fan, I have reasons, honest, but that’s just my opinion. Anyway, I know that this whole chapter was far fetched: 1) Willow and Tara would probably not be too happy to encourage Buffy and Spike’s affair, but this is fiction, what can I say. 2) A Mother wouldn’t be too thrilled either, but Joyce always liked Spike better then Angel, so maybe she’d go along with it.

Thanks for reading. Next chapter is the Spuffy reconciliation, then just a few more chapters. There is angst coming once again for our couple. Please read and review, I hope someone is reading this, still. Thanks, Luv Spuf





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