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Chapter 44: ‘Facing Off!’



A/N: Okay, this is a very hard chapter for me. I don’t want this to end up gratuitous, or too offensive to anyone. Please believe me when I say this: I am trying to write the characters, in this chapter, somewhat on canon of the show. If this chapter offends or upsets anyone, then I’m sorry. Thanks, Luv, Spuf


Buffy drove slowly to her husband’s law firm. She had always felt uncomfortable about going there, even before she caught Angel and Cordelia screwing up against the antique desk she had so carefully picked out for ‘him’ a couple of Christmas’s ago. Why? She couldn’t even answer that one.

However, this time, Will followed her in his old car, the one Buffy loved so much, to her destination.

‘My bodygaurd!’ she thought with a giggle, ‘I love you so much Will. I just wish I would have figured you out for the good guy years ago!’

When Buffy arrived at the parking structure of her husband’s office building, she felt a sudden rush of euphoria.

“It’s almost over,” she sighed out loud, wishing Will was in the Camaro with her, just so he could hear her relief. William waved at her, somewhat half-heartedly, alerting Buffy to the fact that he was still not quite on board with her facing off with Angel now, or ever for that matter.

Spike followed Buffy’s Camaro to a priveledged parking space in the structure, one that only the wife of a big shot Lawyer could possibly have.

‘I can’t give her this,’ he thought sadly, ‘I can’t give her the things she’s used to or once wanted.’

It then struck him, much like a lightening bolt, that Buffy didn’t necessarily want what she ‘once wanted’ and all. The trappings of the Travers’ fortune or legacy; she wanted him, William ‘Spike’ Giles, finally, and forever.

Not only was it a sobering thought, it was an epiphany that Spike finally ‘got’ once and for all.

“We belong to each other,” he said out loud in awe, although he’d actually realized it for some time, “we’re two sides of the same coin and not complete without the other one.”

By the time he had parked two spaces down from Buffy’s Camaro, Spike was feeling pretty confident in himself and this whole situation, once again. Spike smiled at Buffy, a somewhat false smile of bravery to be sure, but one that he hoped would give her the encouragement she needed to face off with the evil fuck that was Angel Travers.

Buffy hit the ‘up’ button of the parking lot elevator, hoping that she as giving off a braver front then she really felt. It helped to have Will here with her, but then again, she herself had insisted that he stay in the parking lot, not accompany her up to Angel’s office. As she rode the elevator to the office building lobby, then grabbed the elevator up to Angel’s office, Buffy actually felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

When she got to Angel’s floor, Buffy was not feeling as strong or as ‘I am woman; hear me roar’ that she had when she first got to the building. Something, deep down inside of her felt off, way way off and Buffy wondered briefly if she shouldn’t have brought William with her, appearances be damned.

When Buffy stepped inside the reception area of Angel’s office, she saw Anya slouched behind her desk in her ergonomic chair. Anya’s head was lowered, her chin in her right hand, elbow on the desk.

“Hey, Anya,” Buffy greeted softly, unsure of the reaction she would get from the other woman.

“Hi, Buffy,” Anya looked up and gave her a half smile. “Angel is expecting you, but…..” Buffy cocked her head to one side and studied the other woman intently, “is something wrong, Anya?” she asked quietly.

Anya stood up and slipped around her desk, closing the space between her and Buffy. “I don’t know, Buffy,” she explained nervously, glancing around at Angel’s office door. “Angel’s been holed up in there for hours and frankly, I think he’s been drinking and I don’t mean Gatorade. I guess I shouldn’t be telling you this, but your husband actually screamed at me earlier. Told me I was a worthless piece of shit, like most women, and should probably look for another job. I hate to lose this job, Buffy,” Anya whimpered, “I’m not trained in much. Don’t know what I would do if…”

Buffy took Anya’s hand in hers, “don’t worry, honey,” she consoled her, “Angel is just pissed that I’m leaving him, or something anyway. He’ll get over it. Promise.”

Anya gave Buffy a knowing look then glanced back at her boss’s office door, “maybe you better just go in, Buffy,” she advised, “get this over with.” Apparently, Anya was on to the Traver’s marital problems and wasn’t too surprised by Buffy’s admission.


Spike sat in his car, not slouched actually, but sitting up straight and tapping on the dashboard in time to the music he played on the radio station. “I should be there,” he grumbled as he tried to concentrate on the music, not his cell phone that was not ringing from Buffy’s call.

“I should be up there with Buffy, fuck Angel and his entourage of bought bloody patsy’s and minions!” He listened to the music that played, even as he smoked another cigarette:

‘whenever I’m alone with you, you make me feel
like I am home again; whenever I’m alone with
you, you make me feel like I am whole again’

‘I never felt whole until Buffy was in my life, totally,’ Spike reasoned.

‘whenever I’m alone with you you make me feel
like I am young again; whenever I’m alone with
you, you make me feel like I am fun again’

‘I haven’t been fun since High School, not until Buffy came back into my life and made me ‘fun’ again. And young? When was I young? Oh, yeah,’ Spike surmised, ‘I was young back in high school; when I let Riley Finn kick my arse and pretended to be beat down. Buffy was sick with worry, she hovered over me and begged for me to be all right. I wish I would have ignored her slip of the tongue, forgot she ever mentioned that prick Angel’s name. She didn’t mean it, she loves me, not him. Buffy’ll always love me the most.’

Spike watched the clock in his car pass the time as he lit another cigarette. “I have got to stop smoking so God damned much!” he chided himself. “If I want to be around for Buffy, our kids, grandkids.”

‘whenever I’m alone with you, you make me feel like
I am free again. Whenever I’m alone with you, you
Make me feel like I am clean again.’

‘I haven’t been clean since I started to work for that fuck Angel. Buffy made me clean again, I’ll never be clean without her; never feel free unless she’s with me.’

“Hurry Princess,” he whispered as he waited for Buffy to reappear from her husband’s office building, a guarantee of a divorce from him in on her lips, in her eyes…in her hands. Spike watched the clock in his old car tick the minutes away as he nervously waited for Buffy’s call on his cell phone, the one that would signal that she was free from Angel forever.

Buffy shuffled into Angel’s inner office, a little afraid but trying to keep a brave front going.

“Hello babe,” Angel greeted as he sat in his huge chair, his back to her. “Have a seat.”

She complied with his wishes, sitting in the chair just opposite his desk and waited with baited breath for him to turn and face her.

‘Buck up!’ she ordered herself, ‘you can face this man. You shared a bed with him for over six years, he’s a man, a male human, not a God, or a monster, well, not a real monster anyway. Not like Dracula or the Wolfman, or even the Mummy.’

She noticed an empty tumbler on the desk, a trace of some kind of liquer left in the glass, “God, Angel,” Buffy sighed sadly, “it’s not even 11:00 in the morning and you’ve been drinking?”

Angel turned to face her, his face a mix of many emotions, some Buffy couldn’t quite name, but she did see a sense of loss in his brown eyes. Loss, perhaps some remorse (?) and definitely slight anger in the depths of her husband’s dark eyes.

“Let me ask you something, Buff,” Angel leaned sat back in his chair, his face was a stoic mask of undefined emotions now, “what gave you the balls to actually ask me for a divorce?”

Buffy was rather caught off guard by this question, although she shouldn’t have been. With a shrug, she glared at Angel and sat up a bit straighter then before in her chair, “I guess I just had enough, Angel,” she responded honestly.

“Guess I couldn’t take anymore of your cheating, lies, crap in general. In other words, I am threw with you, your family and the whole fucking charade that our marriage has become.”

She knew she sounded smug, even sarcastic and a part of her wished she had not come across so crass at the moment, but, Angel needed to know she meant business. Now, Buffy realized, was not the time to back down or get wishy-washy. Their marriage was over, no point in screwing around about it any longer.

“So,” Angel sighed, “you’re not even going to try and work this out? We’re over, six years of marriage, our mutual assets, the house and future together? Over, just like that?”

Buffy stared, shocked at him and his nerve, “just like that?” she gasped. “Jesus, Angel, I catch you with Cordelia, you admit to Faith, God knows who else you’ve been doing for the last year or longer? What do you want from me?”

Angel got up from the chair and walked over to his wife slowly, “what do I want from you Buffy?” he asked with a smirk. “Well, how about the truth, babe, just once. The truth from one of us? Starting with you, then maybe I’ll give you some eye opening facts. Sound good?”

Buffy began to feel a bit ill, her head started to hurt, her tummy got uneasy, but she tried to keep it together. “What truth, Angel?” she asked sadly, “your truth or the real one?”

Her husband sat on his desk, right in front of her and slumped down until he no longer looked quite so tall or intimidating.

“Maybe we’ll start with your truth, Buffy,” he stated, reaching for a bottle of some alcohol and offering her a drink.

“Why don’t we start with ‘who’ exactly you’re running off from me for?” She shook her head and met his gaze in sympathy, “I’m not running off from you for anyone else, Angel,” Buffy murmered, “I’m running off from you for ‘my’ self-preservation. The only person I’m escaping from ‘you’ for is ‘me’ and no one else, not really.”

Angel nodded numbly, “okay, so I’m supposed to believe that you are giving up everything I’ve given you for some solo life. A simple spartan existence that doesn’t include four manicures a month and your hair being highlighted every four weeks? Oh for fuck’s sake Buffy, give it a break! If there wasn’t a guy somewhere out there to take up the financial slack…you wouldn’t even be considering this run for the border from me!”

Angel Travers was starting to get more then a little upset, he was getting quite angry. Buffy was beginning to feel more then uneasy, she was getting quite intimidated and near frightened by her husband’s slipping calm.

“There’s no one taking up the financial slack, Angel,” Buffy assured him, but unable to meet his eyes with hers, “I’m leaving because I simply no longer love you, period.”

Angel looked at her like a man who had been betrayed, other then the one who had betrayed her first, totally. “You don’t love me anymore?” he whimpered like a small child.

Buffy gave her blond head a strong shake of no, trying not to overwhelm him with her confirmation of the contempt and lack of love she now felt for him. He stood again, slowly and began to pace around the office, finally stopping long enough to scrutinize Buffy with his narrowed eyes.

“If I gave up Cordelia, Faith? Would you stay with me?” She didn’t even hesitate, thinking of Will waiting for her in the parking structure below, “no,” she answered firmly.

“I want a divorce Angel. Nothing is going to change that now. But let me ‘ask you’ this. Why not give me an easy divorce, give you a free and clear road to Cordelia Chase. If you and I divorce, you can marry Cordy and have the perfect trophy wife you and your family have always wanted for you. I can’t believe that Cordelia Chase would choose Riley Finn over you, Angel.”

‘After all, I’ve had Riley myself, sorry to say, and even you are better in bed then he is!’ She was more then ashamed of this thought, but it was the truth after all.

“Cordy will never marry me, Buffy,” Angel hung his head sadly, “but that’s not really the point right now is it? We were talking about your betrayal of me, not mine of you, right?”

Buffy groaned out loud, “my betrayal! My betrayal, Angel?”

Angel leaned down on his knees in front of the chair Buffy sat in, placing each of his huge hands on either side of the her. In this way, he virtually trapped her in the chair and from any escape, for the moment that is.

“Buffy,” he sighed loudly, “have I taught you nothing about what betrayal, from anyone or anything means to me? What I’d do if and when I find out about it?”

She leaned back in the chair, suddenly frightened again by the look in her husband’s dark eyes. “Wha…what do you mean, Angel,” she stammered fearfully, more then ever sorry she hadn’t just dragged Will with her up there.

“I’ll explain, babe,” Angel chuckled inanely, “but you won’t like it, not at all. Of course, low class trash like you couldn’t be expected to understand or accept anything we higher beings do or ‘can do’ in the end. Sit back, baby, I’ve got a lot of history to catch you up on.”

“Here,” Angel handed Buffy a glass of some kind of alcohol, “you’ll need this, Gorgeous.”

Buffy took a sip and made an ugly face over the hot burn of the liquer, but one look at Angel’s cold expression caused her to take a more even attitude and try to look interested in what he had to say. In the end, she would be more then interested in it. It would turn out that Buffy would be horrified.

“It’s like this, babe,” Angel began non-chalantly, “I’ve never taken to betrayal kindly. But you, of course, should know that, right?”

She nodded wide-eyed and unable to respond vocally.

“When I was about thirteen-years-old,” he continued, “I had this dog. A Pit Bull/Rotweiller mix that I just loved beyond reason.”

Buffy had no idea that Angel owned any kind of dog or pet for that matter, at least not until she had come into the picture and become his one living possession.

“I loved that fucking dog like a human sibling,” Angel grinned evilly as he sat down on the desk again. “I was the only one could tame old Gunner, my dog,” he sighed wistfully. “I was the only one the mutt would really let order him about. Then one day,” here Angel frowned, “the little moron bit me. Well, nipped me really, but he betrayed me all the same. I was fucking furious with the shit and beat his ass until he couldn’t sit down. For some reason though, that wasn’t enough so I did one better.”

Angel winked at Buffy as if this was all a funny joke, even though she was feeling so queasy that she was about to throw up.

“I duck taped the fucker’s mouth closed so he couldn’t eat or bark and left him in my folks unused garage. After about three days, I went to check up on old Gunner and found him deader then a door nail, stiff as a board. Buried him in the backyard of my folk’s house, they never even knew or cared what happened to him.”

Buffy sat frozen stiff in horror, her mind was reeling with images of the poor dog, hungry, suffocating in the empty lonely garage, no one there to hear or care about him.

‘Just like a damn serial killer,’ Buffy thought to herself, ‘like a horrible Dahmer or Manson before they started on humans. Angel was a walking nightmare before anyone knew it.’

The thought terrified Buffy, but she tried to show a brave front as she sipped her drink again, never letting her defiant gaze leave his.

“Not scary enough for you baby?” Angel asked in his sing-song voice as he grinned like an idiot. “Well, let’s take it up a notch, shall we?”

Buffy tensed, ‘that wasn’t bad enough?’ she wondered, confused more then ever, but she said nothing, just let her husband ramble on.

“How about we talk about your precious cousin, Celia?” he asked in smug triumph.

Buffy gasped and had to control her urge to fling herself at Angel, her finger nails scratching and tearing at his tormenting face.

“Leave Celia out of this, Angel!” she commanded, “poor girl was emotionally fragile. She has nothing to do with this!”

Angel grinned again at her, his usually handsome features appeared distorted, like a demons’ and his smile was twisted in a grotesque smirk.

“Poor girl?” Angel chuckled evilly, “emotionally fragile? Well, yeah, after she fucked me over and made me do what ‘I’ had to.”

Buffy said nothing, just stared at the man she thought she knew for so many years. This silence seemed to spur him on to relay his sordid tale of betrayal, one that would burn it’s brand on Buffy’s mind for eternity.

Celia had been her favorite cousin, heck she had been her only cousin and family beside’s her Mother and Aunt Lilah, Celia’s Mother. Always a bit innocent, Celia had spiraled off into an emotional melt down when she was about eighteen, just like poor Drusilla, William’s sister. In fact, the two young women could have been cut from the same cloth.

“You remember when poor, precious Celia went gaga, Buff?” Angel asked with a wicked grin. “Just after you and me married, wasn’t it, honey?” Buffy stared at the desk in front of her, the one she’d picked out with so much care just two years before. Her threatening, hot tears burned in her green eyes.

“I think you asked me why I didn’t divorce you and marry Cordelia Chase, didn’t you, baby?” Angel purred. “I’ll tell you, once and for all, give you all the dirty little facts and maybe you’ll shut you’re fucking little trap once and for all, okay?”

She nodded dumbly, never looking at her husband’s cold, dark eyes while he ranted on.

“Cordelia Chase,” Angel began coolly, “who by the way is a better lay, woman and lady then you could ever hope to be, won’t marry me for one simple reason. She wants children, Buffy dear. And I, well, I can’t have children. I’m sterile, shooting blanks to put it delicately.”

Buffy felt like fainting, not because she cared that Angel couldn’t father children, but because she had the most sickening feeling. About just what he was going to reveal to her next.

“When,” Buffy rasped out unevenly, “did you find out that you couldn’t have children?”

She asked reluctantly, like a driver on the 405 freeway who passed by a horrible accident. One of those catastrophes that you shouldn’t look at, but you couldn’t help but stare at. Morbidity, that was what a Shrink would call it. Morbidity.


Angel chortled in glee, like a mad man on crack, “when I fucked your little beloved cousin, Celia, the first time that is. It was an hour before our wedding, remember Buffy dear. She was one of your bridesmaids and I fucked her little innocence right out of her, I did. She wasn’t reluctant, not at all and I never could pass up a chaste little creature like Celia. Of course, who knew she would turn out to be a fucking little cunt that would lie, deceive and betray my shall we say, confidence, the way she did? She writhed and slithered like a little whore, the whore she was at heart that is. And, sadly, a couple of months after our wedding, she shows up at my parents’ house, claiming to be pregnant with ‘my’ child. What could I do, babe?”

Buffy looked out the window of Angel’s office, never responding, trying to think of anything but his place, this space that seemed to become smaller and more claustiphobic by the second.

“Well,” Angel continued with a sly glance at Buffy, “I, of course, wanted to save our marriage, yours and mine, so I offerred to pay for the bitch’s abortion. Problem was, I had some doubts, don’t know why, that the little bastard was mine to begin with. So, I insisted on a DNA test and lo and behold, I found out I couldn’t sire a fucking potatoe, much less a human child. But,” Angel grinned proudly, “I magnanimously decided to go through with it. Pay for your slut cousin’s abortion and move on with our life together. Yours and mine.”

“However,” he slithered up close to Buffy and ran the fingers of his right hand down her face, now frozen in horrified shock. “I made sure,” he continued evenly, that my money would help little Celia keep from playing fast and loose with any other unsuspecting males.”

Angel’s countenance was pure manelovence by this time. “I made sure that the little bitch, Celia, would never be able to claim a pregnancy again. My Doctor friend did a little rearranging of Celia’s insides. During the abortion ‘I’ paid for, that is.”

Buffy gasped loudly and now stared into the face of her evil husband, horrified.

“Then I had a certain friend of mine, name of Doyle, that’s enough of a name for now. Doyle insured that Celia would not be a problem again for any of us. He rather antagonized the poor little bitch until she kind of lost all sense of her reason.” Angel chuckled, evilly and neared his wife once more.

Buffy stifled the desire to puke all over Angel’s stupid face and shoes, “did you push my cousin off that bridge, Angel?” she asked seriously, almost afraid of his answer. “Or did you have your butt monkey, Doyle do it? You sick, twisted fuck!” She spat the words at him, outraged, but Angel only smirked in response.

“Nah, babe, your loony cousin, Celia, took a nose dive all on her own. Off the Vincent Thomas Bridge and into the Los Angeles Harbor. No one had to push her, sweetheart, she chose to jump,” Angel added, with an indifferent shrug of his massive shoulders.

“Might make everyone in Sunnydale wonder if insanity runs in your family, don’t you think babe? “ Angel sighed, deeply, in mock sorrow. “I mean, your hippy-dippy Mother? Her little sister and the fruit cake she bore? Now you and your insistence to leave me? Who, in their right mind would leave me, precious? Unless, of course, you have another man? Do you my sweet, do you have a little fuck buddy to keep your bed warm?”

Buffy stood up and glared defiantly into her obscene husband’s now ugly face, “you should know,” she retorted in her Buffy goes all defiant stance! “You’re the one that had Spike follow me. What did he say?”

Angel stared at her, puzzled for just a moment’s time, “I never told you I hired ‘Spike’ to follow you,” he hissed, gruffly.




A/N: Uhem, okay, so here’s what we know. Angel is sterile and he expects Buffy to stay with him through thick and thin, even though he is a mind game playing, control freak who now may realize that our hero, Spike is Buffy’s champion.

I made this chapter much less abrasive then I had planned for many reasons. I love this site, I love you readers! Please read and review. Thanks, Luv, Spuf





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