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A/N ~ While I am waiting to finish "Holly-Tree," I figured I post one of my earlier works which I just love to death. Everything BTVS belongs to Joss Whedon and the ME team. Lyrics for the song "Twilight" belong to Vanessa Carlton.

I was stained with a role,
in a day not my own.
And as you walked into my life,
you showed what was needed to be shown.
And I always knew what was right,
just didn't know that I might,
Peel away and choose to see was such
different sight

~*~



1880



I stare out into the cool London night and I can’t help but feel alone for the first time in over 50 years. I don’t know what brought this sort of feeling on but I do know that I feel alone. But why am I to complain? I wanted to have eternal life. When Angelus offered it to me, I couldn’t help but want to take it. My mother had just died and my father was in the company of too many whores to care about me. I was emotionally broken, so to speak. So of course when Angelus came to me, I felt alone and lost. He was offering me company and what I thought was love. And so that night…I became what I am…a vampire.

In my early years of this life, Angelus treated me like a queen or some sort of princess. He bought me beautiful dresses and if he didn’t have enough money, he would take one off of an upper class woman. Of course, there was Darla…she has mixed feelings for me, I suppose. She seems to think I still have part of my soul with me. I guess I could. Sometimes I think I do. She and Angelus are always up for torturing the victims for long hours at a time. Me…I’m quick and try to get the job done quickly. Can’t stand torture that much.

I don’t think I love Angelus…I don’t know if vampires can love. Can they? I am never told. I see some sort of deep connection between Angelus and Darla. I don’t think its love though. It’s just passion and lust.

There is also Druscilla who Angelus sired 30 years after he did me. I am not fond of her at all. Why you may ask? She is always the jealous one. Whenever Angelus is around me she goes out of her way to get his attention away from me and towards her. And it works of course. She’s a loon that one. Always talking of the stars and fairies and how they whisper to her. I can’t stand it and neither can Darla. Tonight she went on and on about how the stars were sending her a new playmate. I don’t believe anything she says half of the time.

They have all gone out hunting tonight. I am not in the mood to hunt. I have no reason why. They shall be back in a while I guess. Angelus will be drunk out of his mind as usual and will begin hoard me with intoxicated affection that always makes me squirm. Darla and Dru will be to tired and full of blood to do or say anything and only want to lay down and sleep the day away.



Sadly ladies and gentleman this is my life…hopefully nothing else will happen.





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