It the story was AU (human) it could have been
Love Me by slaymuch (
Buffy was dumped by her boyfriend, Angel, for being an inadequate girlfriend in bed. Desperate to get him back, Buffy asks her best friend Spike to tutor her in the ways of lust. Will their friendship remain the same as the bleached blonde teaches Buffy how to please a man in bed? )
I'm not sure if there is another one I've read, could be.
Is that the one you were looking for?
Because by HollyDB
(Summary: Buffy and Spike have been best friends since kindergarten; they've been through the best and worst of times, which makes it obvious to Buffy that Spike ought to be the one to whom she loses her virginity.) was taken down. You'd have to contact her directly because she said so.
But I think it's the first one.