Looking for fics where The Scoobies defend Spike from Buffy's abuse(emotional/verbal) and Spike and Scooby (secret)friendship stories and after Buffy finds out and decides that as long as her friends were ok with it ,She can be with Spike ,He refuses to be with her

Two stories come immediately to mind:

'Second string Scoobies' by Jackofspikes on EF: http://dark-solace.org/elysian/viewstory.php?sid=1569

and

'Work in progress' by Scarlet Ibis on this site.

Although they don't exactly fit your specifications because in both of them it is abuse by Riley that prompts the Scooby support.

Sorry, but I can't find one with Spike refusing to be with Buffy either - these both end up Spuffily.

Maybe not entirely what you're looking for, but it's "a" Scooby standing up for Spike in this short fic: "What are friends for?" by TheBear.
Can be found here on tSR.