Riley not giving buffy what she needs, spike angry (NC17)

A certain fic about riley being rather selfish and not pleasing buffy and spike finding out and being very angry about it

A few specific lines along the lines of

Spike - "Tell me he's not making you feel bad about what you need, any man would want to please you in that way, I know I would"

Buffy - "dammit I will not cry in front of him"

Battlestations by vicnoir (chapter 3 has the bit you describe)
Buffy comes to terms with her feelings for Spike as they hunt for/run from a particularly nasty vamp from Spike's past.

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