IMO, one of the most effective scenes on the show was during First Date in Season 7, in the upstairs hallway after Spike tells Buffy he no longer hopes for a cozy little crypt for two. The look on his face as Buffy walks away. It devastates and breaks me.

I've got some major sad carp going on IRL right now and I could really use some fic where Spike has just given up on anyone ever loving him and thinks he is unlovable.

Preferably while he is souled. Preferably not anything by Herself, who is Queen of Angst, since I have most of her fic memorized.

Thank you in advance.

Peyton

If you haven't read Holly's Sang et Ivoire, it definitely fits the bill

It's available at EF http://www.dark-solace.org/elysian/viewstory.php?sid=1636

Europanya"s Sunshine without a doubt what you're looking for.

http://euro-fics.livejournal.com/52786.html

EDIT: I should warn it's Spike/Other and it's really raunchy, but the last few paragraphs will break your heart.

While I am actually often quite fond of Spike/Other (temp) I have a definite problem reading fics that don't have a Spuffy HEA. I want all my suffering in the middle of the fic.

Oooh! Then stay away from Europanya's work! Not one for a happy ending....actually there"s a couple with no endings at all!