For 
The first day they had been introduced, she had desperately tried to hide her inner swoonage, which was actually more outer than inner, and had resulted in her being all tongue-tied girl.
She hated herself that day.
Spike, on the other hand, had been as smooth as rich, sweet honey, and just as luscious. What she would have given to lick honey of that sexy body!
His baritone voice washed over her with its silky caress that she was able to focus solely on that and block out her mother’s sickeningly girlish laughter that prickled at Buffy’s senses in the background.
The more she had gotten to know him over the following weeks and months, the deeper her passion grew. He wasn’t just some peroxided fool, as so many seemed to believe.
He was more. He was special.
He exuded bad-boy charm from every pore in his body, yet she knew he possessed a heart of gold. She had seen it so many times when he held her drying the tears which leaked down her cheeks as a manifestation of her ever growing teenage angst.
Of course, he didn’t know that a large amount of that angst was as a direct result of his actions. Just the act of his being there was enough to send her back into her spiraling depression.
Buffy had the support of her friends in her life, which provided some small comfort, even though they sensed she was becoming more withdrawn from them.
Her best friends, Willow and Xander, tried to wheedle an answer out of her every time they questioned her on her pain.
Her boyfriend, Owen, tried to reconnect with her, but she rebuffed all his attempts.
Her mother met with the toughest barrier, and eventually gave up trying, leaving Spike to pick up the pieces of Buffy’s heart. He had no idea that he was merely standing in the rubble of her emotions and crunching them further underfoot.
Of course no one knew of her feelings for him. There was no way that she could ever let anyone know. God, what would they think? They would all judge her…her friends, her Mom…not to mention herself. She was her own harshest critic. But she wanted him.
And as much as she loved Spike Rayne, she knew they could never be together.
Her love would remain unrequited.
He would remain her stepfather.
And nothing could change that.