Wow. This is an emotionally exhausting story! Really well written I can't wait for more.

Author's Response: Lol, you're telling me! But I think it'll be worth it in the end...I hope...Thanks for reviewing!

Spike's motor is running on pure instinct at the moment - just not the right instinct. He reacts without thinking and brute force, one way or another, is always in the mix. Soon he is going to be running on empty and soon Buffy will hate him so much that she just won't care .... Great story, glad to have you back.

Author's Response: Exactly. Lol. Thanks for following!

Oh goodness... Oh... *purses lips, furrows brow, sighs deeply* And, here lies the heartbreak. Not just the terrible assault on Buffy, but the terrible assault on and crushing of, William. And, now we see some of how Spike came to be. This is really passionate and powerful stuff. The flashbacks work really well and aren't so detailed that they take the reader away from present-day Spike. (I think you meant to have the beginning itallicised too, didn't you?) One small spelling error, I think: "un-phased " s/b un-fazed. Worth the wait, pet. Worth the wait. Welcome back!

Author's Response: Thanks, I changed the unfazed. And sometimes I have flashbacks surrounded with * instead of italics because I don't like reading entire scenes in italics. Yea, I'm weird. But your comments were all great and very deep, including the ones on LJ. They inspire to keep me going :) Thanks!!

So our boy needs to exercise a few demans out of his soul as well. I just hope Buffy can come to see she is not the only one that carries bad things deep inside her soul. So far hers has not been scared as deeply as his....but maybe she can become his healing balm......and in the end he can become her dark knight....if she can get past this night what some would view as the most unforgiveable act against a woman........

Author's Response: The "some" you refer to probably wouldn 't read the fic, or at least I hope not. If you even got a possibility of forgiveness, then that's fine with me :) I'll do my best to make it happen. Thanks for reviewing!

First of all: excellent writing. Secondly: O.k., so this character is a rapist and a coward. I can't bring myself to feel sorry for him at all, even though I understand that he had a very bad past. But as I see it that's just not a sufficient excuse to inflict that much damage on other people. It is not enough the feel sorry afterwards. Buffy should have taken better aim and cracked his skull with that mirror... Honestly, underlying physical attraction aside, how could you forgive something like that, if you are not suffering from a major case of Stockholm Syndrome? I know that most of the authors (and readers ;-)) crave happy endings, but I have yet to read a story, where the author manages to pull off an even slightly realistic "happy" ending between two characters after one of them sexually abuses the other. Well, I really hope your story is going to prove me wrong...

Author's Response: Yea, I really debated whether to do that or not, because it's going to be hard to redeem. The thing is, I would never forgive someone like that, but I doubt you can really say for anyone else that it actually happens to, if it is actually possible to fall in love with a rapist. Fic is where we can explore the possiblities, and i promise, i will never have Buffy say, "Oh spike, i forgive you for everything - you didn't mean it." It just won't happen. And Spike is fucked up, I know, but I got tired of lightening up his dark side in the sex scenes. If he's gonna be a rapist, then there's gonna be a real rape scene that's to the real degree. I'll work to fix some of it, but people don't always have to forgive 100% - just move on. Thanks for the compliment though!

WAS SO HAPPY AND SUPRISED TO SEE A CHAPTERSO ENJOYING THE STORY WAS DYING TO READ WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN WITH SPIKE AND BUFFY I WAS NT EXPECTING WHAT HAPPENED ,BUT I HAVE TO SAY VERY WOW . I HOPE THAT HE WILL HAVE A CHANCE TO FIX THINGS WITH HER BEFORE SHE REALLY GETS IN TROUBLE ..........GREAT READ MAGGIE THANK YOU HOPE YOU ADD A NICE LONG CHAPTER SOON

Author's Response: LOL, i don't soon will be soon enough - it's time to work on the other fic. But thanks for the review!

please write more this is actually a really good story

Author's Response: thanks!

Another powerful chapter... We can see Spike coming around in the beginning (the "gap" after sex that he can't explain). And he's mindful of her bruises.... And I'm still enjoying the flashbacks. They really help us to identify with Buffy. I can't wait to see what happened back then. And the Harmony rape was disturbing, especially since Spike knew it would happen. Should be interesting to see if he feels guilt for that later on. And Buffy's reaction to seeing the rape, and relief at seeing Spike. I wonder if Spike will bring it up to Buffy later, or if he will ever learn anything about Buffy's past that may change how he sees/treats her...

Author's Response: Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review!

Spike just does that to people. Those two just can't help falling into an all consuming fiery passion. Brilliant!

Author's Response: thank you so much!

I love all the little tiny ways Spike just seems entranced by her. And though there is always a history between Angelus and Spike, I would really love to know what way Dru probably got between them. And this Buffy, she's one feisty cookie!

Author's Response: im glad you think shes feisty!

Have to say, once you've laid out the situation, I gets really interesting. Though I'm not sure I see this Buffy as an effective gang member. But, at this point, who really knows? Though you probably do...

Author's Response: Did I tell you I love the fact you review for every ch even if you read them all at once?

Well, it was a bit sad, but I'm eager to see what happens next...

Author's Response: thanks for the review!

Please gives us another chapter soon.

Author's Response: ok :)