ok i want to apoligize for my last comment about william being disgustings, hes not, hes just changed and its just different. you are an amazing writer and i love how u make all of your characters so complex and just build them to be unique characters, especially william. youre a very talented writer, not a lot of people can do this as well as u do. i love this story and am so happy that u updated. im glad that william still loves buffy and that hes holding on to her memory. i really hope that spike doesnt lose william in his transformation and that he still has that loving side to him. also i hope that everything works out well and that buffy and spike/william end up together. please update as soon as u can, cant wait to read the next chapter. thanx

Author's Response: It's all right. I understand why a lot of people would be having such strong reactions to this part of the story, so the comment about William didn't really bother me. I know that some of it is hard to read, but, as I am telling about this part of his past, I'm going to have to make it true to character. And the truth is, he could be very violent and uncaring to those he did not know personally. I'm glad that you see this and aren't upset now. Thanks for the review. :) William will never stop caring about Elizabeth/Buffy even as his feelings for the rest of the Order changes. Even his metamorphasis into Spike will not make him forget her. Remember his protective, possessive, and very dogged passion for Dru in season two? Well, he's no less loving in this fic, it's only that now the object of his affection is no longer with him, so he finds himself struggling. It will get better for him, eventually.

Tonight I have thunder and lighting here and it made for reading this extra creepy and scary and it was delicious! Perfect fix for a stormy night!!

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the story, and what great atmospere to have when reading it. Thanks for the review. :)

Awww the dream was so sweet and at the same time sad cause you knew when he woke up it be bake to a bleak exsistance for him again. I love how were seeing more and more evil sides in William forming and just how he came to using spikes on people. When he was sitting on the chair covered in blood and not even caring when Angel and Darla walked in it was like whoa he really is a beast now. I know I always say it but I can't wait till you add more.

:)

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it, mselfie. Thanks for reviewing. :)

I won't look at knitting needles ever the same way! OMG! I'd be shaking in my boots if I was that Gavid Guy I'd book a one way ticket on the next boat out of England or where ever. Cause wall art never looked so bloody before.
Great page here on showing the more Spike like nature coming thru!

Author's Response: lol. That scene wrote itself, and when I went back to reread it, even I was surprised by the knitting needles. I'm glad that caught your eye, as well. Thanks for reviewing. :)

I really like the multi dimensional levels of emotions you give William you make him real and give him depth and that's not easy. Every mood or event you show his reactions too, in two different ways his former good side and his new demon side and I find that really a pleasure because so often people make Spike kinda flat or just after sex where as you made him human even in the eyes of death. I hope you stick with this its exceeds my expectations every time I see it has a update.
Well done.

Author's Response: I'm so glad to hear you enjoy it that much. Thank you. :) One thing that always struck me about Spike was how he seemed to wear every emotion on his sleeve. It was truly amazing how JM could take an essentially one dimesional character and peel away layer after layer to reveal the humanity beneath. That is what I hope to achieve in my story, as well. A vampire that is cruel and violent, but not completely without humanity.

Ohhhh William turned Bloody and I'm loving it!
More soon please? It's so good I need seconds!

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it. Thanks. :)

Your story got two happy squeals from me today: first, when I saw that you updated, and second, when Archer mentioned the railroad spike. Does the fact that I loved William’s “poetic justice” mean that I’m evil? :)

William is starting to enjoy his life as a vampire, but without Elizabeth, will he be able to become the Spike who proclaims that he “likes this world” and wants to “save it?” He wants the world to feel as bad as he does and numbness is the only thing that protects him from the succumbing to complete desperation. Taking care of Dru will definitely give him some sense of purpose, maybe becoming the Slayer of Slayers will also give his unlife some purpose (albeit misguided, but still a purpose). (Side note: I wonder if he will ever suspect who Elizabeth really was as he comes in contact with Slayers, or if he won't realize it until he actually meets Buffy).

He tries to shield himself from that pain and not think about Elizabeth, but the pain of losing her is constantly with him when he is awake, and her love and warmth are with him when he is asleep. Even the “intimate torture” is because of her, because of how Archer insulted HER.

It’s interesting how on the episode of the show, when Angelus and Buffy were possessed by the ghosts of two lovers, Angelus immediately wanted to wash off the feeling of love that he had to experience. William on the other hand, after a dream that could just be a reminder of how much he hurts, instead hopes to fall asleep again and maybe see Elisabeth and experience her touch and laughter. Also, I love the irony of Mr. Broody telling Spike not to mope :)

Thank you for the update—loving this story!!!


Author's Response: To tell you the truth, Anna, most people have told me that they enjoyed reading about Archer's torture. And I know that I didn't feel any remorse when I wrote it. :) I'm glad you like where I'm heading with the story. Thanks for reviewing. :)

I love it! Excellent, and I can't wait until you post more! Thank you so much for this brilliant chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review it. :)

Very dark and well fitting in what is going on, such a cool storyling here. Funny how when he looks at Dru he pictures her as wearing or doing what a prostitute would be but when someone accuses Elizabeth of those things he goes after them. Very light vs the dark in differences between what he sees in Dru and what he saw in Buffy. I love reading this it always stays with me after I have read it thank you for continuing to write this story I enjoy it very much and it has become a favo of mine.

Author's Response: No one is going to live up to his expectations of what a woman should be, now that he's fallen in love with Elizabeth. Even as he grows more fond of Drusilla, his passion for his first love will never leave him...and it will never stop affecting his relationships with others. I'm glad you like the story. Thanks for taking the time to tell me so. :)

Blood and gore and a mouning Spike makes me want more more more more!

Author's Response: lol. I'm glad. That means I'm doing something right. Thank you. :)

Stepping back from being a human and thinking like one helps in understanding in how and why he does the things he does when reading this. Because you need to think with completely no emotions and only see with the eyes of vengeance and then you can see perfectly how William is. I always think the Powers that Be have a hand in everything that happens with William like he goes thru things because he has a higher destiny and when I read this you bring back all the reasons I loved Buffy Universe and why I loved Spike. Excellent power you have in writing this out and all the things you put into it that still gives him heart. I am looking forward to what comes next.

Author's Response: I think that William is behaving the way most of us would if confronted with only our basest human urges and the lack of a conscience. He retains quite a bit of humanity, but his compassion has become something that is quite selective. That is something I always noticed about Spike on the show. He was incredibly kind and loyal to those he loved. To those he didn't...well, they'd best get out of his way. I'm glad you liked the chapter and thanks for reviewing. :)

Well what can I say, vengeance is sweet... I am not vindictive, but...
I love the way William (soon to be Spike) doesn't let go of Elizabeth.
(by the way, can't stand Darla, but nothing new here!!!)

Author's Response: lol. Yes, I'm trying to be true to Darla's character which, to me, has always been the epitomy of b*tchiness. And you aren't the only one tasting sweet revenge...so many people have told me that they enjoyed Archer getting tortured. In a way, I have to admit I enjoyed writing it. Thanks for reviewing. :)