[Report This]Date: 04/02/2007 - 01:00 am Title: Chapter Uno
Good on you for posting your first finished fic. Three things: You have a lot of dialogue, but not a lot of description around it - you might consider using more in your next story.
Some readers have a pet peeve about Spike saying "Cor". I'm not really one of them, and I do realise it fits his dialect. But since it appears so many times, you might be putting off the people who are always listing it among their dislikes.
I was surprised by how quickly Angel goes from arguing with Spike to accepting his (Angel's) own motivations in a deep-thinking kind of way.
Hope comments are of use ...
Author's Response: Thanks. And yes the comments are very much of use. :) I didn't think writing fanfic would be that hard - way to prove myself wrong. lo. eventually I was just like "Dammit! I'm going to finish this one!" lol. SO I kinda wrote it in a blur...thanks for the comments - but I think I have been improving - haven't posted any of my newer efforts cept the PLan The Perfect Murder - which I don't find that bad if I do say so myself. Thanks for posting suggestions - many people don't because they fear that the author will get mad at them - which is understanding cause like no one wants to hear they suck. But you suggested ways in which to correcting it. So thanks. I'll try to do better next time.
[Report This]Date: 03/22/2007 - 11:03 pm Title: Chapter Uno
Very sweet story, I really like how you presented Fred and Spike s' friendship
Author's Response: thanks - I always thought that they had a cute little bond - sort of like what he would have had with Willow or someone. Fred met him - when he wasn't in his 'evil' stage - and so she got to know him without that influencing everything. A story needed to be told more often.
[Report This]Date: 03/22/2007 - 03:06 pm Title: Chapter Uno
That was great. That is how it should have happened.
~ZLB
Author's Response: thanks so much :) glad you liked it! I thought so too...
[Report This]Date: 03/16/2007 - 09:51 am Title: Chapter Uno
hey this is brilliant!
thanks for posting it!
Author's Response: thanks for reviewing! Really happy you liked it! :P
Author's Response: thanks for reviewing! Really happy you liked it! :P
[Report This]Date: 03/15/2007 - 10:38 pm Title: Chapter Uno
YAY!! Loved it, loved it, loved it! Perfect event flow, too... And a happy ending!
Author's Response: gotta have a happy ending right? lol. I can't seem to write a really sad one - I dunno has to end on a happy note - when ever I read stories with sad endings it's like depresso-world. lol. glad you like it.
[Report This]Date: 03/15/2007 - 06:42 pm Title: Chapter Uno
Very moving fic! Loved it!
Author's Response: Glad you liked it! :)
[Report This]Date: 03/15/2007 - 05:23 pm Title: Chapter Uno
I wouldn't have mind if it was longer to gave them more time. Loved the way it ended.
Author's Response: Ya...I was going to make it a bit longer - but then I didn't. lol. no real reason for that - well except for laziness. lol. Glad you liked it.
[Report This]Date: 03/15/2007 - 04:51 pm Title: Chapter Uno
Oh I loved it, wouldn't mind seeing where there love would take them.
Author's Response: Oh so looking for a sequel? I'll see what I can do - no guarantee but I will consider it.
[Report This]Date: 03/15/2007 - 11:52 am Title: Chapter Uno
Aww! That was sweet!
Author's Response: thanks so much :)
[Report This]Date: 03/15/2007 - 11:15 am Title: Chapter Uno
uh, okay, i couldn't really get through this. it was a nice try, but the writing just isn't there for me. and it's a bit out of character, i can't picture any of them talking like this. i have a feeling i saw this somewhere else and started to read it, but then stopped again. sorry if i'm being rude, but i think you can do better. maybe get a beta to help out, just a suggestion.
Author's Response: I originally posted it on spuffyonline but it has become sort of dead there. So you might have read it there. No, you weren't rude. I would rather be given the honest truth than just lying and saying it was wonderful and you absolutly loved it. This gives me something to work off of. Not that I don't love the other comments as well. I'll work on my characterization - I know it needs work - but just a first attempt - thought I'd give it a try. Thanks for the review.
[Report This]Date: 03/15/2007 - 11:03 am Title: Chapter Uno
Loved It!!! Perfect ending. Thanks.
Author's Response: thanks so much!
[Report This]Date: 03/15/2007 - 10:50 am Title: Chapter Uno
wonderful, congratulations
Author's Response: thanks, I was worried it like horribly sucked.