Arg. Suspense. Very very bad. And that slimy, disgusting little bastard....I want to kill him. Painfully. Multiple times. I mentioned that, right? Ah, well. I'm not precisely enjoying the story, but it's incredible--and I'm off to read more =)

God. Poor, poor Spike. This fic still has me captivated, because the character studies in it are just amazing, but at the same time...God. Simply terrible. Heartbreaking. I've never wanted Buffy to gallop to the rescue quite so much.

Author's Response: Don't worry you've not got long to wait at this point... :)

Don't worry, I'm prepared for things to get worse...though it hurts to see Spike so broken, and I get the feeling that it'll get still worse before the end...at least Buffy's coming to recognize what she's done to him, though. Her treatment of him during S6 always infuriated me--she was just so messed up, and Marti Noxen *damnhertoafierydeathinthedepthsofhell* mishandled the whole thing...anyway. Very good chapter, and I'm off to read more--this fic has me intrigued. Your exploration of Spike's abuse is fascinating and extremely well written.

Uh-oh...I think I understand why Buffy's so upset...because according to Xander's definition, she's the abuser in this situation--or at least that's how I'm interpreting it ;) Warren's abuse of Spike made me sick--he is one twisted puppy and I sincerely hope he dies gruesomely somewhere in this fic. That being said, I'm enjoying this fic because it's so amazingly written and has a fascinating plot. There's also an excellent contrast between Warren and Spike, simply because Warren is souled and human and Spike of course is a demon, and coming straight from committing the one crime that pretty much ensures damnation no matter what society you're in...I'm not enjoying this in a fluffy kind of way, but more in an emotional workout, "This is so good it might just make me cry before the end" sort of way. Kudos =D Oh, and I love readers who review every chap too, lol.

Author's Response: You completely interpreted correctly :) Buffy's got a major wake-up call before the end of the story, just starting now.... Yeah, in this fic i'm kind of going more for emotionally jarring and a little disturbing than warm fluffies... so I guess your reaction is a good :) thanx for review

I'm glad Xander's there for her, so long as he doesn't try to be too much 'there'...I know it's a Spuffy site, but if there's so much as a hint of Buffy/Xander, I'll complain. I'll keep reading, but I'll be a whiny reader ~_^ And poor, poor Spike...something tells me he's going to get put through a lot before this fic is over =/

Author's Response: oh he's going to try...doesn't mean it's going to work *hehe* don't worry, this story is strictly Spuffy....

Babafamous are you confused? You seem to think that SpikesPetSlayer and I are the same individual. Because you are addressing both of us at the same time in your posts. First referring to things I've said, then referring to things she's said.

To be clear, i did not share my personal story on the internet. Pet shared more than you deserved to hear. Was that clear?

I have found that this story is beautifully written, evokes an emotional response, has a brilliant plot and well thought out characters. This is one of the most fantastic fics I have ever read (and I've read alot of fan fic). Jl1980, Please don't take to heart all of these nasty reviews. Your fic is brilliant. Each chapter is a pleasure to read and I'm constantly looking for updates.

To those attacking you and your fab fic, I agree with Zoe Grace. I challenge you to write something better.

To any author constructive critisism is appreciated, even needed, but in this case, it has gone beyond that. It hurts my heart that people can be so nasty in a public forum like this.

This fic deserves each and everyone one of the award nominations it has recieved. Keep up the fab work jl1980! *hugs*

Author's Response: Thank you :) *hugs back* :)

All I'm saying is...it's much easier to tear something down than it is to build something of your own. I really don't see the point of telling someone you hate their fic.

It seems like a pointless endeavor that produces no results, but whatever. As for whether or not I'm the "voice of reason" I don't care one way or the other.

I just saw someone who's work I like being slammed by a bunch of people who don't seem to respect the fact that most people who write fanfic are doing it because they enjoy it, and they want to share it with people. We are not professional writers here being paid for our contributions, since you didn't have to pay money to read it, I'm thinking a modicum of respect is in order to the person who spent hours putting it together for your entertainment.

As for the challenge to write something better. That isn't necessarily meant in the way that you think it was. It means EXACTLY what it says...no more and no less. If you don't like the fic out there, create your own. Stop bitching about what you don't like in someone else's fanfic world and make your own stories.

As far as "torture/abuse/and fiction" If the abuses regular some people suffer on a day to day basis creates the dramatic changes that it does (and since you don't know me you can't presume to know what I have or haven't experienced or have or haven't witnessed. and frankly it's none of your business one way or the other.) then i KNOW that torture of that extreme nature would create effects similiar to what Jl has written. As for "fictional characters" Fiction has to have a level of reality to it or it doesn't speak to people. We understand Spike and Buffy and Dawn are imaginary characters, although it doesn't really seem that some of the story flamers understand that.

Now I will bow out and try not to spam Jl's comments section any further. I apologize if my first post created more of a stir instead of the opposite effect.

Author's Response: very well put and appreciated...you have as much right to state your opinion here as anyone with an opposing opinion :) hey, at least the evening's been interesting :) lol

I agree with babafamous, whoever you are, if you are brave enough to talk about your personal life, you have to expect all kind of answers, and diferents opinion. But I have to say Im very dissapointed with you, jl1980. In one of your author response you put: "voice of reason". Why? because that person like your story? the people that doesnt like the way you write are wrong? Yo have to express yourself better

Author's Response: I referred to that reviewer as the "voice of reason" not because of their opinion but because of the mature and tactful way in which they stated it...they did not resort to slamming the people with negative opinions, although those with negative opinions have been on the rude side in the way they've been stated, even going so far as to mock someone who mentioned their own experience with abuse...i believe that it's fine to express your opinion, but there are certain guidelines as to what is just common courtesy in expressing them

Ok, this is funny. We are talking about people that doesn't exist. You are talking about the effects of torture??? in real people??? MY GOD, they are making opinion about the story, about Spike and Buffy, and you are talking about the real thing?? Honey, is you have a problem, go to the psychiatrist, he is going to help you

Author's Response: Okay...I've gotta say this...if you're responding to the person who just mentioned their own personal ordeal with abuse...first of all a little compassion should be in order for what they went through because it *was* real, okay, instead of making fun of them.... Secondly, yes this is a fiction, but i am trying to make it as true to life and therefore emotionally impacting as possible...that is where the point about the real effects of torture comes into play... Even online, where no one knows who you are, there are such things as compassion, tact, and class... LEARN THEM, PEOPLE!

Okay, I reviewed this over at the BSV, but I feel like I need to make a point to some of the people giving you bad reviews....

Having lived through severe physical, emotional, and sexual abuse from the age of 4 through 16, I think that I can speak with a fairly good amount of authority here....

ANY abuse leaves scars, whether emotional or mental...no matter how strong you purport to be, you are unable to overcome any abusive behavior just from someone saying that "you're safe", because believe me, you never feel safe again...even now, I don't feel safe, and that was YEARS ago that all that happened...there has to be loving support and rebuilding trust, and much of that can and may include repeating regrets over and over (and my g/f can tell you, sometimes that isn't even enough)...so listen well, people...unless you have walked in those shoes, and had to deal with the leftover consequences of what was, then just read the story, or don't read it if you're bored...because no matter how strong he was, or how many people he killed or tortured in the past, Spike is dealing with demons that most people cannot without psychological assistance...and your flames for a story that is dealing with this in a caring and sensitive manner are inappropriate to say the least...JL, you are doing a helluva job, ignore the bad reviews and remember, you have people in your corner who LIKE the story...not to mention, have told you so personally *grins*...so keep up the excellence that is you....

They ae going to fight again?? or they are going to say sorry to the end of the story?? BORING

AHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGG, bore to tears