Date: 06/25/2008 - 01:20 pm Title: 19
I am really enjoying this story. I love how you are not making Buffy and Spike fall head over heels in love with each other too quickly. I feel that your story is a realistic direction that the characters could have taken on the show. Well done!
Date: 06/21/2007 - 03:15 pm Title: 19
wow!. great story. love to hear how the rest - the next bit goes
Date: 05/14/2007 - 09:36 pm Title: 19
Oh, that was just awesome. I wasn't expecting him to hug her, but oh that was so right.
Date: 05/06/2007 - 12:53 am Title: 19
omg! THAT is how Lover's Walk should have happened! please, you have to update soon! i can't wait until they meet up again! spuffy yay!
Date: 05/05/2007 - 09:06 pm Title: 19
Wow. Just wow. Intense. Great characterization. Each scene and chapter flow seamlessly. I love it and I can't wait to read the next chapter. Just a couple items of note, however.
1. Watch your tenses. You do well with keeping it in past tense/third person view, but occasionally you slip into present tense, and that disrupts the flow of the story more than you realise.
2. Watch the spellings of words, especially the four that seem most confused in many works. Than, then, affect, effect, to, too, they're, there, their. You have many instances where you've used the wrong form of these words. Careful.
3. Punctuation. Periods, exclamation points and question marks are all well and good, but you need commas. Yes, I'm a comma queen, but you have almost none. They break the sentences up so that they are more what they should be instead of how they appear when you don't have any.
"Buffy stared into his blue eyes, eyes she knew could see down to her depths and watched the subtle sparks of joy that infused his gaze. His laughter aside he seemed different to her than he had been all night and wondered briefly about the change before squishing the thought out of her mind."
How about this?
Buffy stared into his blue eyes, eyes she knew could see down to her depths, and watched the subtle sparks of joy that infused his gaze. His laughter aside, he seemed different to her than he had been all night, and she wondered briefly about the change before squishing the thought out of her mind.
I hope that was constructive and not coming across as bitchy, because as I said, I do love the story. I truly cannot wait for more to read. Perhaps a Beta reader who is as inclined to grammar as I am? Hmm.. 'tis a thought.
CT.
Date: 05/05/2007 - 03:40 pm Title: 19
OH I love it, some how I don't think Dru will take him back and he will come back to Buffy.
MOre please
Date: 05/05/2007 - 01:15 am Title: 19
Loved it!! The emotional struggle going on inside of Spike and Buffy was perfect. I love how this is developing!.
Date: 05/04/2007 - 10:56 pm Title: 19
Sooo pleased to see an update on this one...though the updates aren't thick and fast I find each one is worth the (excrutiating) wait. When I got to the end of this chapter I was struck by what appeared a significant evolution in the relationship between Buffy & Spike. While apparently new something in the update seemed familiar however and I couldn't figure out what so I went back over earlier chapters and found it. In chapter 10 we have Spike's first expression of gratitude - his first acknowledgement of his (probably better than deserved) treatment. There at the end of the chapter he thanks The Slayer. This time however he thanks Buffy. Small change. HUGE development. That was very cleverly done.
Date: 05/04/2007 - 10:38 pm Title: 19
Awwwww, he gave her a hug!
I really like the whole sorta-friends thing first they have going.
Date: 05/04/2007 - 10:15 pm Title: 19
Good to see an update :) Loved especially Spike's musings about Buffy.
Date: 05/04/2007 - 08:21 pm Title: 19
love this story. more please.