Oh, wow, color me stunned here, that I didn't expect. Good job, honey. Off to read more, since I can't wait. ;)

That makes sense... Therefore Faith knew that Lindsey wasn't honest with Buffy and tried to tell her. Good that Lindsey is in the past now. :) ~ Till next chapter!

Tammy, I love this story and all of your stories but there is a thing you do that makes it so hard to read your dialogue. When you have someone speaking, you almost always continue in the same paragraph with the thoughts or reactions of someone else, which makes the reader connect the dialogue with a person who isn't actually saying whatever it was. If you would just stop at the end of a piece of dialogue and then, if you aren't going to write how the speaker feels or acts, SKIP to a NEW paragraph and write how the other people think or feel, then the dialogue would be sooooo much easier to read and not so much work for the reader. Please? Pretty please? Example: "I'm going to get in the car and get out of here." Buffy watched him as he gathered his books. -- who is speaking? The reader's mind immediately assumes it's Buffy because it's her name right there. But the speaker was supposed to be Spike, not Buffy. Then when Buffy speaks, your dialogue would end with Spike thinking or doing something, leading the reader to assume it's Spike's words being spoken. Almost all the dialogue seesaws like this so it's a constant battle to keep the speakers straight. It's just harder work than it needs to be and cuts down on the enjoyment of reading the story. Please try it okay? Because I really like your stories and I think you tell them pretty well, but the dialogue gives me fits and sometimes I just have to stop reading after a while or get a headache. Thanks. Good job otherwise on the story though. (Words capitalized for emphasis, not shouting; I haven't been able to figure out how to use the italics in the review box.) :-)


Author's Response: You know, I would expect something like this for an older story where I did everything wrong like you said, but not for this one. I think the dialogue is actually pretty accurate with this story. This is the one that I have a beta for, so I figured it was better than my others. She would have probably said something to me about the dialogue if it was hard to understand. I guess even with a beta I still have problems when it comes to writing. I thought I was getting better, too. Well, at least I like to think that I don't have a lot of spelling errors and other stuff. The only other thing I've gotten comments about was having the wrong tenses. This is probably the best work that I've done. I doubt it will really change at this point, but I'm glad you like the story.

i knew it!!! i knew it i knew it i knew it!!!..pretty good for a guess...but now i wanna know the how and why...loved the chapter it was great...cant wait for another.

bad Faith...very bad... buffy reaction please!!! :)