Oh that was hard for Buffy, retelling when she died. But also for Spike because he sees this as a failure, not being able to save Buffy back then.
And when Buffy came back the others (most of them) were quick to forget that Spike had helped them (Dawn) when Buffy was dead.
All the motions Buffy was going through alone when she came back, dealing with it all alone... it would have been good if she saw a 'shrink' back then, a psychologist. Would have helped her. So she let her frustration, her emptiness, the anger out on Spike.
I'm glad that Buffy simply forgot Spike in the alley because she was focused getting Warren who killed Katrina, not her. Sadly enough she did (forget).
So sad and bittersweet.... Buffy healed a bit that summer because she confessed what she felt and what she did.
What happened when Spike came back / how he reacted in a later chapter I guess. Till then :)

Author's Response: Buffy has always had problems talking about her feelings and emotions. Retelling (and reliving) the past is very hard for her to do. But she knows she has to do it if she wants Spike to understand. Emotional pain and regrets can last far longer than physical pain and injuries. Some times they last forever. :(

Wow! i love the part about her comparing what Faith did hitting her to her hitting him!! Please update soon !!

Author's Response: Faith loved/envied/hated Buffy for being all the things she thought she could never have or ever be. In that ally, Buffy hated Spike because he could feel all the things she couldn't feel. When she called him a (soulless, empty, thing) that's what she felt about herself, and took it out on him, because he was more alive than she was. :(