So Spike doubts Buffy's love for him. First let me say that I know that Buffy loves Spike. Second, regarding this fic, I can certainly see how he can feel that way, especially given this is S6 Buffy and Spike, with a not so pleasant past to complicate everything.


Buffy's actions leading up to Xander's demise did not reflect her feelings. While we (and Spike) understand and even expected Buffy to show great degree of reluctance when it came to accepting Xander's guilt, I also would have expected more reluctance on her part when it came down to exposing a rather vulnerable and terrified Spike to Xander.

AGAIN, I didn't expect Buffy to take Spike's word alone that Xander was guilty and I certainly didn't expect her to run off and kill Xander once she was convinced. Her need for further proof and to find some other means of justice is understandable.

BUT, I did expect Buffy to show more concern over the trauma she was going to expose Spike to. Whether she was convinced of Xander's guilt or not - she knew Spike was terrified of him for some reason. Consciously or not, she used her influence over Spike to coerce him in his vulnerable and terrified state to go along with the plan.

Buffy was so determined to help Xander (which is admirable as far as best friends go) that when coming up with her plan, she weighed the possible benefit to Xander higher than the potential injury to Spike. Never once did Buffy express concern over how being alone with Xander, even for a moment, may effect Spike, emotionally or otherwise. Now that is great if you're Xander but kinda sucks if you're Spike.

In Spike's mind, her declaration of love probably feels rather meaningless because she didn't exactly back it up. She unduly used her influence over him, left him alone with his abuser, when she knew he was scared and failed to come through on her promise (granted not entirely her fault but she didn't have a contingency plan. And let's face it, Buffy could have gotten her proof another, far safer way had she had taken more time to plan things out with the group.

I guess what Spike is saying is that, if she truly loved him, then shouldn't she have been just as insistent that the scoobies devise a plan as safe as possible for him as she was on getting further proof on Xander's guilt?

That's not what happened. Far from it.



Anyway, I am glad that Spike has had this time with Angel and Fred. His bonding with Fred has been good from him and she' s an unbiased sounding board so that helps too. But I am also glad that he has been able to vent with Angel. The anger and frustration and other emotions that abuse victims experience needs to be workied through and he may not feel free to do so with Buffy.
I know others have faulted him for not saying goodbye. I can see why he wouldn't have wanted to. He would never have been able to convinvce Buffy that leaving was best and she would have persuaded him to stay. He should have perhaps left a note for her. At this point though Spike should at least make some form of contact, if he's ready to reconnect with Buffy that is. He left because he needed space, well, Buffy is giving him space. Granted, she could have asked how he was when he was on the phone with Dawn but nonetheless, the move is his now.

He leaves Sunnydale without saying goodbye - knowing that Buffy wanted to talk to him - and now he has the nerve to whine about how she doesn't want to talk to him??!!! If I were Buffy I would also be waiting for him to make the first move. I think perhaps Spike is transfering his own actions to Buffy - what a very human thing to do!

God, what a chapter! I Love it!
Still want to see some Spuffy action...yeah that would be great!
Update soon and keep on wirting please!
You´re a wonderful writer, really!

MOa from Germany

Poor Spike, he's so heart broken. Love the Spike and Fred bit. I always liked when those two were friends.

Ouch. Love the angst and heartbreak he's able to convey to Fred. They always did have a wonderful rapport. Great, no, make that fabulous, update!

I feel bad for Spike, I hope Fred can get thru to him.

Buffy does love him but I think she is thinking he doesn't love her anymore.

Oh... loved the chapter, btw.

Poor Spike! Glad he has Fred there to talk to. Good chapter. =)

oh spike :(
i kinda feel like crying..just a little.

Love your story sooo much Hope you write more soon!