This is heartbreaking all around. Everyone is feeling ineffectual and guilty, but not doing anything to fix things. I don't know what Buffy can do. She's right, she can't be Spike's conscience. She can forgive him, though. Try to be his friend and maybe re-build trust between them. Here's hoping she's willing to try.

I was on vacation and missed this emotional chapter. I'm glad your muse is cooperating again.

It's sad that William was starved for affection. I wonder what Buffy would do now. I like the idea of Willow sending Buffy back, but I suppose that wont' happen.

ERR WAT A STUBBORN BITCH!! SHE LOVES SPIKE AND SHOULD SEE THAT HE LOVES HER AND THEY SHOULD BE TOGETHER!! i LOVE this story and am so happy that u updated. i feel so bad for spike, she broke him and hes never been broken, thats just heartbreaking. i really hope that she realizes wat angel and wat dawn told her and sees that spike only did it for her and that she loves him and they should be together. also i hope that she finds him and that they talk and everything works out well. PLEASE update as soon as u can, im DYING to read wat happens next and wat she says to xander. THANX

Loving it, and thank you so much for posting. Needed the distraction.

*hugs*

Loved the update!! So, what is Buffy up to? Did what Angel and Dawn said get through to her? And what happened to Spike? Is he still on his quest for a soul? Maybe already on his way to Africa? It was hard to like Buffy in this chapter, it can't be easy to write, but I thought it was very true to character. I'm totally with Dawn on the part, that she has to acknowledge her own part in the mess - and she has all the help of a fully developed conscience. But than in all her defensiveness she's right on one point. Having a relationship with someone, who is like a child in the moraldepartment - it wouldn't be easy, what kind of partnership can it be. And you can't just blow over it all with 'If you love someone...' So it's true that Spike never needed the soul to feel and love, he didn't need it to cross the line between good and evil - let's face it a lot of people with souls are evil, he needed it to get the perspective, to understand that the end doesn't justify the means. You are doing a great job working that out. So I hope Spike gets his soul, just to make him less helpless and lost. And I hope Buffy sees that she did a poor job helping the man she supposely loves to find his way, acknowledging his struggle. In stead she punished him for something he couldn't really help happening and still benefited from what she blames him for. Repentance required, Buffy, big way!
Okay. That got kind of long. But obviously I really love your story :-)

Phew, I'm definitely in the mood for some resolution of this big looming decision. Will she stay or will she go? Will things be alright and if so how. You've definitely got me guessing. Love the story :)