i really tried to read this, but this is as far as i could get. your writing needs a lot of work. there's too many mistakes and it's a bit too out of character for me. you said you had a beta, but i think you need another one. just a suggestion.

Author's Response: Thanks for noticing I'd posted the wrong chapters. I'm working my way through them fixing up the mistakes it's my fault not Eve's she's a great beta.... Thanks for leaving a review