I love the flow of your words honey, it is poetry in motion, sucking me into the story and giving me great visuals. I do hope your finger is getting better and my-oh-my, I have to hand it to you... law school and writing fiction? You have my respect, that has to be a bit of a juggle. And here I thought my RL was a struggle some days. I was very happy to see you update and I enjoyed many aspects of this chapter. It has brought about a better picture of William, who he is and why he has come to Ireland. Nice little mirror vs marble analogy there, sort of depicts William’s character in what he sees and what he doesn’t.

This chapter was informative and most definitely serves purpose in enlightening us to other characters and the situations surrounding them. In saying that, I do think that the sequence or timing may have been off just a bit... bringing the characters in when you did. Nothing I say here is a flame sweety, or even criticism for that matter. You’re bursting at the seams with raw natural talent in this fic and honestly, I couldn’t touch you with a ten foot pole. Everything I say here is all just my personal point of view/thoughts.

With the delicious cliffie you had in the previous chapter, I had hoped you would bring it back around towards the end of this one to at least give us a glimpse into what William’s thoughts were upon first seeing Buffy in his field.

I was a bit confused as to the exact nature/type of relationship William had with Dru. I see that he has no regrets leaving her behind, but I want to see why you chose to bring her into the picture at this point and a hint as to the trouble she may cause in the future... why we should be on the look out for her. I share the same sentiments with some other reviewers on Dru’s behavior earning her a one way ticket, for the times, to an asylum/nunnery because the church had zero tolerance for that kind of behavior. Doyle was also another mystery for me. I wasn’t able to distinguish if the woman’s screams he could still hear were that of some random woman, or perhaps his own bride? Not just this, but it isn’t clear why he has chosen to work for the English if he does indeed harbor bad feelings towards them. If the woman is his wife, I can see him biding his time with revenge in mind. If not, I can only hope that he will be there for Buffy if/when he sees her go through the same thing... sort of a supporting character to her dilemma.

This was a good chapter, don’t get me wrong, but I felt it was a bit choppy (not a good choice of word) and confusing at times. My best advice is to always bring us back around from the information in previous chapters and show us the purpose/relevance in your timing/introduction of different characters and their goings-on. As always, feel free to email me honey and I do look forward to your next posting, I’m on pins and needles for the upcoming initial interaction of William and Buffy. Take care and a huge cyber hug from me to you.

Very eloquent hun. You have given us more background on William. He is quite the heartless bastard but he does have an eye for beauty along with his zero tolerance for idiocy. I agree with one of the other reviewers that said your writing is almost like poetry. There were phrases that were just outstanding. Purely eloquent. Pictureque, drawing us in, the scuttling beggar, how the poverty shocked him but gave him no sympathy, yet then we see that the lack of his reflection, not being forced to see who he is, is helping him remake himself. The rich history is again evident throughout. All very beautifully done.


I do though have to admit to a bit of confusion as well though. I reread the chapter a few times to establish Doyle in my head. I get that he is captain of the guard for Butler (didn't get that at first) who owns the castle but as to the why he would have any loyalty or diplomacy to the British, I don't understand. Perhaps it is learned and he is one who carries himself well and has manners but the last lines suggest he would hold a deep hatred. I imagine you will be clearing that up for us soon. After several readings about Doyle ,I'm assuming his aversion for women comes from this traumatic event where I think you are saying his bride was taken away screaming so... like I said, hoping for an explanation as to why he would serve as a go between. It would be hard to hide his hatred.

Okay, I have to just make one little mention of Drusilla as well. Again, I'm hoping when you explain just who she was to William it will be clearer. I too worry that such behavior would have landed her straight in a nunnery. Most of it took place in her chamber but you said she was known for her visions or for being mad. True the king held sway over what was said and could oft people who spoke out, but the church, the church was power and they held sway over the king. They were advisors, they were at court, and really dictated a lot back then. Lunatics and Pagans didn't fare well. Perhaps jamies_lady can shed some light on this historically for me. Email me if I'm wrong here please.

Again, I'm sure your mind has this worked out in some fashion because you told me most of the fic was already plotted out so this background on her must factor into the future. I can see her causing trouble for our couple if and when they return to England. Drusilla in any form is fun to write and a mad rambling Drusilla is the best of all. Lets Muse go a little wild.

Can't wait to read what is in store next. Buffy has been in that field now as your poor finger has suffered and I really want to know what William has to say to her about what she is doing there. You dangled a cliffe and then pulled it away you evil author you ;)

Take care sweetie. Thank you so much for the update. Don't take anything in this review to heart hun. When I review, I tell it like it is. High points and the other as well. I just want to see you succeed here because you have had such a fabulous start. and I see true talent in that heart fo yours.

Hum... I'm not sure where to start her. I guess positive first is best. I want you to know that this isn't meant as a flame. I just have questions concerning this chapter. When I started this story I was enthralled. I loved it. The first chapter was perfect. Very clear, very informative, the characters set, the setting described. It was great and I thought now here is a winner. I have a bit of a problem with this last chapter though.


You write beautifully with eloquence and very good description to bring the reader in, but I feel as if some of the things are jumbled and leave me wondering what is going on. I truly have no idea who Doyle is or where his loyalties lie. He is Irish? He works well with the English as a go between? Yet the last line makes me think his bride was taken, perhaps in the way Buffy will be, so then why would he have such a great relationship with the English. Hard times make hard men and you portrayed him as hard so why would he want anything to do with the English? Maybe I'm missing something but I reread it three times and don't get his character. Hopefully that will be cleared up soon.


Now for Drusilla. I can't see it. Potions and such and crazed hair pulling and ranting. The court and royals knowing of her actions. Granted you say she is neice to the king but no way in those times would that happen. She would be an embarrassment to him and would find herself in a convent sharpish quick. Visions were considered evil. She would have been looked upon by the church as possessed or insane and done away with. Her only saving grace being her relatioship to the king to save her head and be put away somewhere nice instead.


Look at Nostrodamus, he was persecuted for his visions. They were the devils work. Paganism still was about but Christianity had powee. And doing drugs and such? Maybe, in private, but if they caused any public display that was not considered proper or lady like, the church would have stepped in. the church was very powerful then. Just my opinion.

Again confusion about a character. I also was left not really knowing who she was to William. Were they to be married? If she liked William so much and she was a favorite of the king and she broke down in that display of ranting, I can't see the king allowing William to go i the first place.


I know this is fan fic and you have a very busy life, but you started so well and so accurate with your history that this bit about Dru just throws me off. I hope that you can pull back together. Be more percise in your descriptions and think out your characters. As I said, your words are lovely and eloquent but vauge at times.

I very much want you to continue with this. The history and the time you have spent researching is obvious and that dedication is to be commended. You have great potential here and obvious talent and the plot is fabulous. I'm sorry that I am a bit critical here. I am just confused . Maybe it's me.

Thanks, hope you continue.

Wel, my dear, just how do I review this wonderful tale. I dont' review, I congratulate you on you attention to detail - wonderful writing - excellent plot and most of all the story itself.
Thank you for sharing you talent with us and i hope to read the the next chapter very soon.

You are a star in the making, sweethear, enjoy the praise

Author's Response: I can't believe that you reviewed. YES! *pumps fist in air* sorry about that. My updating does suck but thank you so very very much for your wonderful words. They mean alot.

These are all truly hard men, during hard times. I was a bit surprised that you had continued from that point. We now know who Drusilla is to him and where she is. Very interested to know more back story on Doyle at some point but since we are Spuffy fans, we what to know more about them. Very excited to have another chapter. Sorry about your finger, you never know just much it gets in the way, until it's broken. Thank you for the update and will wait for the next one some time today.

Love the background. Was afraid you had dropped the story when you didn't update.

School first BTW.. I am sure your writings are a nice release from RL. Waiting for the meeting.

Enjoying..

Thank you for writing even with a broken finger, sorry to hear that you got hurt. This story is wonderful, I am enjoying the historical references, how life really was then. Not everyone got to live in palaces and had sweet cream everyday. Most didn't make it out of childhood. Thanks for reminding us.

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing. Im trying with the whole historical aspect but if you see anything that doesn't fit, please point it out. My imagination can turn facts into myths. Hopefully the next chapter is okay. thank you again.