Aww poor buffy. buffy and alcohol unmixy things. This will be interesting to see :)

Buffy wrote the truth (how she felt) ... must have been hard for her to do. A big surprise for Spike.
But Buffy's confession made him angry? Well he didn't tell Buffy how he felt either. Maybe Buffy didn't dare to talk to Spike because he was in a relationship with Drusilla; I don't know. He can't lay the blame that it didn't work out with Drusilla on Buffy. Yeah, she could have told him but so could he (about the feelings for the other one). It's sad that so many time has passed since then. And if Buffy did it (not talking about her feelings) in order to save their friendship? She lost it anyway and gained nothing by not talking.
Drinking won't be the solution, it can lead to more badness though. She couldn't be in her right mind (means drunk) if Spike decides to come by.

Now why would Spike expect Buffy to tell him that she love him before when he didnt? He is the man after all! He should have been the first one to admit his true feelings to Buffy rather than getting a replacement for her. How would Buffy know that he loves her then when he already has a gf! He's stupid! And he will be more so if he doesnt do anything now that he knows Buffy loves him.

Really lovely letter and I think a little honesty is needed from both parties! Can't wait to see what happens next. Oh and I hope Buffy doesn't feel as bad as I do this morning once she's finished her Vodka.

I feel that maybe Spike isn't really blaming Buffy for anything (a lot of pain could have been avoided if they were BOTH honest, but they can't change the past now and there is no need to play the blame game now). Spike usually reacts with anger to protect himself when he is hurt, in pain, or not able to deal with his feelings and with what's going on around him.

Thank you for the update!

Not liking Spike so far in this story. He is so angry at everybody and blaming everybody but himself Buffy has the most courage of the two of them and Spike is an idiot for thinking that while he was having one night stands and falling in love with Dru that Buffy should have took that as a sign that she should come forward and admit her feelings. He didn't have enough guts to tell Buffy his feelings even though she wasn't with anybody! So far, not seeing why Buffy would want to bother with this cowardly, angry man, who also apparently got talked into an abusive relationship. Yeah, what a catch.

I love your story but one thing doesn't sit well with me:

" He read the whole letter again, and felt anger welling up inside him. So much pain could’ve been avoided if Buffy just had been honest with him in the first place. "

Spike fails to see one simple fact: so much pain could’ve been avoided if HE just had been honest with her in the first place!!! And what's more - I think that Spike is more to blame. Ok, so she didn't tell him how she felt, but he found himself a girl and pretended to be happy, for crying out loud!!! How could he expect her to know that he really didn't want to be with Dru? She was his friend, so It was understandable that she didn't want to mess in friend's (seemingly) happy relationship!

women. Of course saying that spike is to blame as well. Which he is to a point. But it was buffy that stop being friends with him. it was buffy who stop talking to him without ever letting him know. if she wasn't just a chicken then and told spike the reason why i can't talk to you anymore because it hurts to see you with dru. spike didnt have to tell buffy if he didn't want to. cause they were friends. so, spike does have a reason to be mad at buffy. buffy just stopped talking to him without no reason. buffy doesn't have the right to be mad with spike though. geez.......women.

although, i don't see why it is hard to tell somebody you love them. I never have a difficult time telling somebody that i love them or that i'm interested on being more than friends. I don't see why people have a hard time. why, because they are afraid to know that the other person may not feel the same way back. that is so stupid. i would rather no then live my whole life only saying what if.

Loved this chapter. Can't wait to see the next one : )

Spike is such an idiot, it's not like he did the exact same thing as her! He could have told her that he was in love with her and never did, so he shouldn't be throwing stones. Can't blame her for not saying anything, that's totally scary! You've done a great job in making Buffy really relatable.

spike does realize that he was just as silly as buffy was in not telling her how he felt right??? he can't blame this entirely on her. yeah, she took the easy way out and stayed away from him instead of just taking a chance and telling him about her feelings but buffy wasn't the only one be stupid here. loved it lots and lots. wonder how spike's gonna handle this one!!

Hey love it so far.but spike should remember he never said anything either...hopefully they can make some progress soon. He is so angry with Buffy it's as if he blames her for his staying with dru and that is unfair he was his on person it was his choice to stay. Or maybe i read that wrong...can't wait for more..N

OH no she is going to get drunk and he is either going to show up or call.

MOre please.