Please don't give up or take a break or whatever you want to call it. You had an idea and you should stick with it. Obviously if no-one was reading then hey cut your losses but people are and we may not all agree with you all the time but hell how boring would that be and we have tooing and froing in the reviews (which I really like) and if we all thought the same we'd all be writing the same - and I can't. I read for enjoyment and if I don't enjoy I give up and I have but I'm not - other's aren't - that's just your cold making you feel like crap. Chin up and give us that next chapter - please.

Author's Response: Hey Sam, after much consideration on the break, I realized that there probably wouldn't be a chance in hell of that happening anyway. While this story may not be every one's cup of tea, it has me by the short hairs and refuses to let go until finished. Thanks you so much for the thoughtful comments, they made me smile and since I am at work, that's a tough thing to do.

I have been enjoying this story all along. Of course I wish the path to true love was an easy one but then the story would be short. I think you have done a good job in conveying why Buffy would be reluctant to give her heart to Spike again. One bitten twice shy is a cliche for a reason.

Author's Response: Yes, it would be one hell of a short story if everything had of just flowed along smoothly. Not to mention, it wouldn't be marked under angst, right? Thank you so much, Sarah.

Maybe where the power of some negative reviews have made you take a step back & re-evaluate, possible one positive one can make you not have to. (*And, this coming from someone who left a ranting review for the previous chapter about how un-sorry I feel for Buffy.) I don't think you need to re-evaluate what you are trying to convey. I know you appeased my irritation with Buffy with that first statement she made to Willow. I even understand the abandonment issues. I completely get where you're coming from. I mean, Buffy is a human being. She has faults & feelings. Feelings are never pretty. They don't always make sense and they can be known to cause people to make unwise decisions that make no sense to anyone else. Granted, I think her abandonment issues where Spike is concerned are misplaced. She needs to place that blame on the doorstep of dear old Mom. Yes, he left that first night they were together, but that was to comply with her mom & make things easier on Buffy. He didn't abandon her. I mean, damn! The man wrote letters that her Mom never gave her! I don't understand how that could lead to such a warped view of love. I know she will eventually wake up & realize that the reason that it's so exciting to be around Spike is because she is totally completely in love with him. This chapter went a long way into helping me understand Buffy's mindset. Do I still wish WIllow would just speechify & tell her what she thinks as far as the Spike situation goes so that Buffy will have an epiphany and beg forgiveness of Spike & run into his arms, never to leave? YES! But, since I have faith that epiphany will happen eventually, I am being patient. I mean, the saying is true: "The path to true love is never true." I personally love this story and the way you have painted the characters, flaws and all. Really, hoping for more soon. (*I realize this may have changed with the additional note, but in the author's note at the beginning? Did you mean only two-three more chapters for us to read or for you to write?)

Author's Response: Hey there! First of all, I will not be taking a long hiatus, maybe just a week to suss out what I want to happen in the next chapter. After much reconsideration, I realized that muse wouldn't let me totally quit for a while. She's far to persistant and is gnawing at the bit to start the next installment. Yes, there will only be 2-3 chapters left. I am amazed that it is almost over, but I honestly didn't expect it to be this long anyway. Thank you so much for the review, it was awesome and made me feel much better. Glad to hear that pretty much all of my fandom understood what I was trying to convey with Buffy's action. I also agree that Willow should just put on her Resolve face and tell Buffy how it's gonna be, but I think that I am going to leave that to dear old Mom. Need to get her back into ya'lls good graces anyhow. Thanks again!

Sweetie, I think you're conveying exactly what you're trying to convey, and doing a great job of it. I don't think Buffy is a bitch demon woman, and have never gotten that impression from this story. I hope you stick it out with this one - it's possible that the problem some people have with the story is theirs, not yours.

Author's Response: I totally agree with you, Katie. I just wanted you guys to know that I never meant to make her callous and I am elated to hear that it didn't come across that way. Thank you so much!

Well, I don't know if I just think differently from other people but I do understand Buffy. All consuming passion is really very scary, and the need for something solid in her life, that's not gonna change is understandable. Not that I agree with her, but I can understand.

Of course, she's only fooling herself, and by doing it, Riley tand Spike too. But I'm sure she'll wake up sooner or later and realize that nice has nothing compared to mind blowing passion ;)

Author's Response: Thanks for the uplifiting review, Avalon. Yes, I was worried about the general consensus of my readers and what they thought about Buffy's attitude. After reading not only yours, but all of the reviews left today, my outlook has changed considerably. Buffy is a frightened little girl at this moment and is clinging to the one stable aspect in her everchanging life. Her heart's desire will make itself known soon. I promise. Thank you so much!

I can understand, why she is staying with Riley, and why she sent Spike away, she is running scared and as she said Riley is safe, I don't know what I want Riley to say right now at least she came clean with him.

Her relationship with Spike never really got a chance to start because of her mother and she also needs to have some kind of closer with Spike. I can understand her sleeping with Spike too, because hey never really one to talk, Spike was taken with her from the first time he saw he in Cordy's mothers bedroom, then the kisses they shared and next think they knew they were in bed together.

So her sleeping with him now can be understood, she is also scared he will leave her again so why not send him away, after all he left the first time without saying anything for her. So in a way she gave the out and she left him before anything to bad can happen.

It might help her if Spike and her were able to become friends, or something, I am not sure if they used BC, and not really sure if a Baby would be a good thing, since they said Riley and her are waiting til after being married.


I love this story and think you are just fine with it.


Author's Response: See...that's what I wanted! Right there. Where you as a reader can put yourself in her position. You can relate to the emotional whirlwind that is going on in her heart at the moment. Yes, she jumped into bed with Spike without a whole heck of a lot of thought to Riley; but, when someone cheats, do they really think about their significant other at that exact moment. I honestly don't think so, not that I have been in that position, but I have counseled many of friend in that department. Buffy's guilt came later, when the realization of what she had done hit her like a satelite falling out of the sky. She felt guilty. Remorseful, and truly ashamed of the way she had behaved. Plus, coming clean with Riley was a major step with her. It would have been very easy to just sweep it under the rug. Although I have managed to make Riley a nice guy in this story, a huge feat for me, he is eventually going to get the boot. I, for one, am a sucker for a happy Spuffy ending. Also, as far as the pregger issue. No, she's not going to get knocked up. That would be an aspect of the story that I am just not willing to go into. She's on BC, that will be mentioned later. Thanks so much!

Ah, the "Spike lovers like myself" are mad that Buffy, not you, is living up to her normal behavior.. cut and run to safe Riley. Know you are taking it personally. But you us Spikeaholics get into character just like it was happening and will be upset with which ever one is being the poop head.

That's what you wanted- right?

And the game.. sorry. Last second as usual. I still think Alabama will kick their butt. That Coach.. no names given.. has them looking good. LSU is a little lackluster to me- not a smooth running machine.

Hope you feel better. Waiting to see how you get our pair back together.

Author's Response: Being a "Spikelover" myself, I totally understand what you are saying. I also get irritated when Buffy acts like a total buttmunch. (Yep, pulled that straight out of 1987.) I was just worried that what I was trying to accomplish with her feelings wasn't quite getting the job done. After reading your review (and email) as well as like everyone elses, I realized that I was just being hyper sensitive. So far, it seems like only one reader in particular had a problem with what I was doing and I can certainly handle that. As far as the game goes, I was honestly expecting to have our asses handed to us on a paper plate. Even though we lost at the last moment, I am proud of my boys for not letting LSU run slap over them. It was a great game, that's for sure. Thanks so much, Pam!

STUPID GIRL! OOPS! Did I just say that? Sorry, but just have to have an indignant rant on Spike's behalf? Who can blame Spike for hating her right now? Hell, he laid out his honest emotions to her, admitted he's been pining for her all this time and what does she do? Just throws it back in his face and lies to him about her feelings to boot! THEN she has the nerve to feel sorry for herself and wallow in a sob-fest! Could someobody just slap her? Please? I mean, this is all of her making. All she has to do is just admit it & save everyone heartache. Well, maybe not Riley, but who cares about him? This is Spuffy, anyway! I know, I know. If she did that there wouldn't be a wonderful fan fic to enjoy, but you can't blame a girl for wanting her Spuffy to be happy and fluffy and amorous, right?

Okay, rant over (I think). Great chaper. Actually, probably didn't have to say that. It's pretty much a given with the empassioned rant it just inspired. Excellent writing. Maybe needs a little more betaing, but otherwise installment to your tale. Looking forward to the next chapters.

Author's Response: Nicely performed rant! Thank you so much for the wonderful review. Spike's not so much with the hating, just upset for the moment. Buffy's being an irritating bitch and that's just rude, but she's going to have a change of heart eventually. Thanks again!

OMFG THAT STUPID BITCH!!! HOW COULD SHE TELL HIM SHE LOVES HIM??? SHE DOSNT LOVE RILEY, THATS SUCH BULLSHIT!!! i LOVE this story and am so happy that u updated. i cant believe that she did that to him, how could she break her heart like that?!?! i really hope that she realizes wat she did to him and that she loves him not riley. also i hope that she apoligizes and that they talk things through and get together. PLEASE update as soon as u can, im DYING to read wat happens next. THANX

Author's Response: Ok, take a deep...calming...breath. Now, thank you for the review! of course Buffy's going to come to her senses! I couldn't possibly leave it that way!

That was mean...very mean. Why??? Buffy's so dumb sometimes. Sigh. If I had a guy like Spike, I'd never let him go. Man. I hope she fixes this. Can't wait for more!!!

Author's Response: Please, if Spike were mine...he'd be chained to my wrist all the time. Buffy is being very mean, but there's a reason, or at least her reason which is totally insane logic, but a reason none the less. Thanks so much!

I don't hate-I love, lots of angst-more please. Getting back together shouldn't be that easy anyway

Author's Response: See...I totally love angst, love love love it! So, really glad to hear that someone else out there is just as twisted as moi! :) Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review!

OH MY GOD! I can't belive she did that. Bad, bad, bad Buffy! sooo cruel to leave us hanging like this, you have to update soon, or else my faith in happy spuffy ending will slowly dwindle... :D lol, I loved the chap, sad but necessary for plot. update! update! update!


psst! update!

Author's Response: Oh, Annie...don't lose Faith! :) This story is very much scheduled to have a happy ending. Promise. Thanks so much!