Having her or not. How is there even a choice. Living without her just isn't something he can have anymore. Love how he takes in every aspect of her when she sleeps. It's so very sweet.

Author's Response: No, there's really not much choice going on here, but he's thinking on what he's giving up. And more importantly, what he'd be gaining. Glad you liked how he takes her in, all the little things that add up to Buffy.

Or not. Definitely or not. Don't lose her, Spike!

I loved the update! Everything flows so naturally and Spike's inner struggle is brilliantly real. I adore your writing!

*hugs*

Author's Response: Hehe, definitely not! Yes, I think Spike should have a struggle. It shouldn't be as easy or simple for him to stop killing. Thanks for reviewing!

Here via the Rogue Poet Awards. Sorry I haven't reviewed sooner, I was too busy devouring the story!

Fabulous story. The relationship between this less jaded Buffy and her Spike is riveting. I love their honesty with each other in this much more mature relationship.

Thank you for a wonderful read, I look forward to future installments.

Author's Response: Thank you! Don't worry about not reviewing, 'devouring' is a good thing, LOL. I'm glad you're liking the story. A more mature Buffy being the Slayer was something I wanted to explore. Thanks for reviewing and I hope you keep enjoying!

amazing as usual

Author's Response: Thank you!

What a great, great chapter. You've tied them so closely together, that their totally different natures should feel restricted amid the tangle - but they don't. Spike lies awake and although he is not having a crisis of conscience, he has, and he knows it, reached the point of decision. No longer the want, take, have concept: it's going to have to be want and take or want and have. The soul-searching of this soulless vampire in the depths of the night whilst clutching his very alive, ensouled girl to his side - it's entrancing.

Your story has such depth.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Yes, they have different natures...a vampire and a Slayer who should be wrong for each other, but are so completely right. Spike has indeed come to the time of decision. Thank you for the compliments; I'm glad you liked the imagery of him holding her while he ponders things. Thanks for reviewing!

Just beautifully written.

Author's Response: Thank you!

Things are getting deep on a very emotional level for Spike. I can feel his internal struggle between his old urges and - what his life without Buffy would be like. I like that sort of inner turmoil - it tends to bring out the best in people/vamps. And I'm sure whichever which way he chooses, he'll choose wisely, just hopefully not too late, or rather untimely. You're direction with this fic so far has been been well executed and this chappy is no exception. Love the way his emotions just poured over to make me truly feel for him. Looking very forward to the next installemnt sweety. As always - a brilliant chapter, and i hope when you take yout break, it will regenerate you - hugs you tight and lots of encouragement towards writing more. I feel you - I really do, on needing a break. And hey, if you feel the need at any point, you're welcome to contact me as I'm going thru the same thing - needing a break - and although for different reasons, I'm here as a fellow author if you need an ear. I adore your style and passion and the impact you bring to your stories. You're brilliant sweety, truly brilliant as a writer. Much encouragment from me to you personally and here if you need me for an ear in any capacity. Much luv, IBE.

Author's Response: Yes, Spike is definitely at the point where he realizes a choice has to be made. And I think it definitely is a struggle. Even as much as he wants Buffy, it's more than just changing his diet, it's going against his basic nature. It's not something that he can just decide to do one day, or do just because she wants it. He has to want to change. I'm glad you liked the chapter, and thank you for all the compliments! I hope a short break will be good for me, too. I know where the story's going, but keeping up with a chapter a week is beginning to wear me down a bit. (Are you on LJ? *goes to check*) Thank you so much for the review, and I'm glad you liked the chapter!

OHHH I HOPE HE PICKS HER AND TELLS HER SOON!! i LOVE this story and am so happy that u updated. im so glad that he needs her so much and that hes willing to even consider giving up blood for her. i really hope that he does wats right for her and that she finally admits that she loves him. also i hope that everything works out and that they end up together and happy. PLEASE update as soon as u can, i CANT wait to read wat he chooses. THANX

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Yes, Spike is thinking about decisions he needs to make... I'm glad you liked it and thanks for reviewing!

That is some of the best Spike inner monologue that I've ever read. I know this is an AU, but it really makes me feel like this is how canon Spike thought of his Buffy, both chip & post-chip. Really makes you see the man and how deeply he loves and needs his girl. Really loved this.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm flattered you think so much of Spike's thoughts about Buffy. Thanks for reviewing!

Good to know that Spike knows whats at stake! Can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Yes, Spike is getting it... Thanks for reviewing!