Hey there,

I can see you desperately want this to work, but there are still glaring errors in the story... some simple, some not.

A good example is in one of the first lines - Willow says to Spike: "Spike, your back."

All I could do was picture him twisting and turning to see what was hanging off his back! The correct use of of the word 'your' here is 'you're', as in 'you are'. It's simple, but it's a mistake that is easily picked up if you had been reading through and knowing what to look for.

Similar mistakes are made constantly throughout, and I can't help but feel that if your story has required *so* much work already, and it's still not anywhere near top form, maybe you need to stop, and read up on the basics.... read other people's fics, look up books or sites on grammar, spelling, punctuation etc...

It's not hard, but it will go a long way in getting people to actually want to read your work.

Author's Response: I appreciate your honest but I think my Beta has done an excellent job on this fic, it may not be perfect but I'm not a grammar Nazi.

I like the story but I think you may need to work on the grammer/spelling in this one a little more. For example you use the word "know" when you should use the word "no"; "and" instead of "an". Looking forward to the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you for your review, i'm glad your enjoying the story so far... i'm sorry for the mistakes i have a habit of getting focused on a story and not looking it over properly I'll try to be more careful... thanks again.