Interesting... I'm intrigued but also a little distracted by some errors, they aren't too bad but you might want to go back and clean it up a little.

I looked up the other story and it wasn't the one I was thinking of. I am glad you decided to come back and rewrite your story as you have clealry grown as a writer and I do like the premise of this paricular plotline. There was a movie, and there was another BtVS story that played off that movie too. I liked it a lot. I can totally read another version of that movie plotline or whatever you plan to do with this plot. I'll come back and review once you have more length to it as I don't like to read stories until they're long enough to draw me in and keep me there for a good read. Thanks for sharing your story with us.