This is a Spike worthy of loving. Compromising, without losing his sense of self. You're wrapping up this present so nicely!

Author's Response: I never understood why Spike had to be so whipped in canon. Love is part of his nature, but so is the aggressiveness. Thank you for liking it!

“I too rage, you see, at the dying of the light,” he said. “It’s too beautiful to put out.”

And they've merged, taken their future experience and combined it with the universe in the past that is already changing. And the fact that your timing brought them to this new world after the original season 6 Buffy and Spike smashed, just makes is flawless. There was no choice for them than to be together, and these past angry enemies have to acknowledge that it was a connection that would happen either way. And then to flash her there after the new Spike was able to fix things in so many ways, because he didn't yet care! I just bow down before this plot. The characterization is so spot on, and his wish was so perfect (and the touch of revenge to Parker is simply icing with a cherry on top!) And I still love how this enlightened Buffy, still has to cope with the new development by running off as she always does. Hard to figure out what to do when that much happens so very fast. And this particular combination of so many Spikes is incredible. One of my favorites, by far. Thanks for this one. Please, update soon!

Author's Response: Oh, wow! Thank you so much! I'm so happy that you saw what I was trying to do. Some people had problems and got mad. :D

This Spike is really growing on me. It's neat how, even seeing her at her lowest most unattractive point, he still gets invested in Buffy and her future. I also admired the way that you didn't make him all WAFFY, wanting to fix her future because he suddenly loves her. He's still Evil in his self-conception, and therefore not admitting how much he feels for her to himself. So he naturally says to himself that sending her forward would be a perfect form of revenge to give himself an out, even though S4 Buffy was right to notice that he was really helping her.

As for my comment in my previous review about part of the story being "toxic" in tone, I hope it didn't offend you, as I was only referring to one tiny part of an engrossing story. I still think Spike's comment to S6 Buffy that she is now a "disappointment" is demeaning and gratuitously cruel given how damaged she has been. It would be different if he just called her on her own cruel and dismissive and callous behaviour, but he seemed to labelling the whole person with that term as unlovable, not worth regarding. I think that kind of insult can be toxic.

I see now why you had Spike do that, though, even though I still don't care for it: you are not writing a new version of S6, with a more powerful, self-confident Spike to wake Buffy up as I thought you might be. Instead, you are writing a story about the prevention of S6 -- which is fine, great even, just not where I thought this was going.

This different outcome also accounts, for me, for why there is no attempt to help S6 Buffy heal from the damage and trauma she's experienced, or to show her gaining enough self-awareness to reject her bad behaviours and attitudes; she was only starting the journey when S3 Spike had to leave, and the whole story followed him into the past.

I really liked the Buffy and Spike of your Awakenings and that particular rewrite of S6. That's because there were things about S6 I actually liked, especially the music and even how they got together (but not Buffy's subsequent bad behaviour obviously). For this reason, I enjoy certain rewrites of S6 where Buffy and Spike get together in different ways or with better timing, or stay friends longer, and wind up with a happier outcome.

I've always thought Buffy loved Spike deep down even in S6, and the trouble was that she loathed herself, so it all got twisted, distorted and ruined until she could sort her head out (which unfortunately took until the end of S7). This proves the old adage that you can't love someone until you love yourself first. For me it (of course) doesn't excuse her horribly abusive behaviour and the dark places she went to with her view of Spike; it does explain it a little, though. So I look for alternate versions of S6 where Buffy is a bit more honest with herself or more willing to lean on Spike or whatever is needed to make their relationship better.

However, I also like AU versions of earlier seasons leading to very different endings and new versions of the later seasons, which is what this story is turning out to be. Now that there is the promise of more Spuffy, and new storylines, I don't want it to end. I'm so sorry that there is only one chapter left. I'd like to read the alternate version of S4, S5 and S6 that would result with this Spike in the picture, and Buffy's future knowledge. But in lieu of more story, I'll gladly take the final chapter -- I just wish there was more to follow it!

Sorry for the atrociously long review!

Author's Response: Are you kidding? I ADORE long reviews! I love discussing Spuffy and seeing other people’s views. When you said ‘toxic’ I thought you meant the whole Buffy/Spike dynamic here. I’m glad that’s not so. Spike couldn’t have called her on her behaviour, simply because Buffy at this point both in canon and in this story wouldn’t have seen anything wrong with the way she was acting. She was so fixated on everything being his fault, not hers. I hope by the end of the next chapter, you’ll see why he calls her a disappointment. From his angle, she is betraying and darkening the very thing he finds of most value; she really has disappointed him and he’s never one to soften things. I’m fond of ‘Awakenings’ too, and in fact, when I first started writing ‘Payback’, I meant it to be in that vein, just with a badass instead of a caring Spike. Payback’s first chapter is actually quite lighthearted. But stories control me; I don’t control them. Once I got into a S2/S3 Spike’s head and an S6 Buffy’s, the way they would react to some occurrence or stimulus took over and the story got more and more intense. That’s when I thought I should put up a warning. Even though Spike here is in fact a lot less cruel than Buffy was in canon and I did throw out hints with the parallel of Tara’s tough love stance, it was still tricky. Some people see him as abusive. I’ve had emails wanting to dust both him and me. :D I’m astonished at the amount of controversy this story has generated. There must be something wrong with me, because I honestly don’t see the Spike of my story as abusive and Buffy treated him far worse in canon. (In fact, if one put a man in Buffy’s role in S6 and a woman in Spike’s, it would have been horrific. Trauma doesn’t excuse her actions.) I probably won’t be writing quite as dark a story again - not because of people’s reactions since I don’t write for others, only for me - but because I don’t like to repeat myself and won’t be doing an S3 Spike vs an S6 Buffy again. (Um, that isn’t graven in stone. :D It depends on what ideas pop into my head.) I’m so glad you like ‘Payback’ anyway and, if you care to discuss Spuffy some more, do email me at jopattas@eagle.com - I love to talk with other Spuffy fans!

Great chapter. Spike's wish for Buffy was perfect.

Author's Response: He always wants to do the right thing for her and this time he found the right way. I'm so glad you liked it!

Wow, month? Who had thought that this had happened on the other side of the story. One wish for Spike... hopefully he'll use it well.
Clever way to make sure he gets his wish.
I like that Spike wants to make sure the Joyce will survive. No Initiative sounds like a good thing; Buffy is taking care of the demons anyway.
That was indeed a clever wish. Spike wanted Buffy to learn (sounds again as if he cares). And it worked.
He cares :) The memories merging explained why it happened.
Looking forward to more (even if it sounds as if the story is coming to an end).
(OT: I've read today that Jypzrose will have to close her personal site but she's thinking of posting the stories somewhere else. *fingers crossed*.

Author's Response: I didn't want to go through the Mayor and such, because it doesn't affect Spike, and the only way to get him from 'Lover's Walk' to 'Harsh Light of Day' was to put him is stasis. One more chapter to go. :D

Great chapter. Well written and tied all of the loose ends together for me..

Enjoyed your twist on the story of Spike Loves Buffy.



Author's Response: Thank you! Just the resolution to go now :D