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Spike and Buffy were immobilized, but burst into a flurry of motion after a moment.

Someone was running up the stairs. Buffy jumped off the bed and ran like greased lightning to the bedroom door -- which they had left open since they had been the only ones in the house -- and shut it just in time.

Spike scrambled off the bed and landed on the floor with a thud. He quickly jumped up and ran to his dresser to get some clothes.

"Holy shit! They weren't supposed to be home until tomorrow!" Spike whispered frantically.

"Spike?" Dawn said from the other side of the door. "You in there, O' brother of mine?"

The doorknob turned. Buffy threw herself against the door and leaned on it heavily to keep it shut.

"Hey! What are you doing in there?" Dawn asked.

"Don't come in!" Spike panicked, jumping into a pair of sweatpants with both legs and pulling them up quickly. "I'm... naked!"

"EWWW!" Dawn screwed up her features. "Gross!"

Joyce was carrying her suitcase upstairs. "Mom! I almost got scarred for life and saw Spike in the buff!" Dawn said.

Buffy snickered into her hand. 'Caught him in the Buff, indeed! With his tongue in Buff's muff, if you want to be literal about it...' she thought with amusement.

"SHHH!" Spike hushed her. "Be quiet!" He would be mortified if his family knew what they had just been doing.

"Everything okay, sweetie?" Joyce asked through the door.

"Yeah, Mom!" He pulled on a fresh white t-shirt. "I thought you guys weren't coming home till tomorrow?"

He collected Buffy's shirt from the lampshade and her crumpled jeans then threw them to her. She began pulling on her clothing.

"I just wanted to come back home. Your Uncle Joe was cranky because the Chargers lost or something. Honestly, why some people let themselves get so worked up because of a game is beyond me..." Joyce said, taking her luggage into her room to unpack.

"Are you dressed yet?" Dawn asked impatiently.

"Why?" Spike asked smoothing back his hair.

"So I can come in, genius. I bought you something at the zoo gift shop," Dawn said.

"Don't come in! I'll-I'll come out when... I'm decent!" Spike got some tissues and wiped Buffy's juices off his shiny lips and chin.

Buffy smirked at him as she finished buttoning her jeans. He was so fucking adorable when he was rattled, she could eat him up -- which she planned on doing again the very next time the opportunity presented itself.

"I bet you were doing something really gross in there..." Dawn said, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

"I'll be out in one -- fucking -- minute!" Spike growled, pulling on a pair of socks and sneakers.

"Mo-om! Spike swore at me!" Dawn whined.

"Spike, don't swear at your sister," Joyce chastised him from the other room.

Spike grumbled and rubbed his forehead as he walked to the door. He took a deep breath and gave Buffy a 'Phew! That was close!' look. She smiled and gave him a quick kiss before moving to hide behind the door. Spike opened it just enough for him to squeeze through and shut it behind him.

"Hey," he said to Dawn, trying to sound casual.

"About time, weirdo. What are you hiding in there?" Dawn knit her brows.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Nothing! Will you stop with the third degree?"

Dawn cast another glance at the door before giving up (for now). "Here!" She smiled, handing him a navy blue t-shirt with the zoo logo on it. "But maybe I shouldn't give it to you for being mean," Dawn teased.

Spike grinned and held the shirt up to look at it.

"Thanks, Dawnie! I love it. Sorry I was cranky." Spike hugged his little sister, rocking her back and forth. "I'm touched that you remembered me while you were away."

"Of course I remembered you. We were checking out the chimps exhibit and for some reason your face popped into my mind!" Dawn giggled.

Spike pulled back. "Very funny, kid." He smirked and poked her in the stomach.

"What's that smell?" Dawn asked, sniffing the air.

"Huh?" He stepped back from her. "What... smell?"

"It's kinda... musky... I know I smelled it before... Janice's boyfriend's van, maybe?" Dawn attempted to place it.

Spike's heart raced. She must smell the sex on him. He still had traces of Buffy juice on his face. 'Oh God! She can smell it! I hope I don't have any pubic hair in my teeth!' he thought wildly.

He suddenly remembered a way to throw her off the scent, literally.

"Uh, Dawn! A package came for you today," Spike said quickly.

Dawn's eyes widened. "It came?! Oh my God!" She squealed, bouncing up and down. "Where is it?"

"Downstairs on the coffee table --"

She ran down the stairs.

Spike exhaled explosively. Joyce walked into the hall.

"Did you, uh, have a nice time, Mom? How's Aunt Marie?"

"Yes, it was nice. And Marie's doing well. But it's good to be home. I worry that you don't eat right when I'm not here." Joyce smiled at patted his face. "My special little guy."

"Mom," Spike rolled his eyes and groaned good-naturedly.

"I know, I know. You're all grown up and the Slayer, but you're still my baby boy." She grinned.

Spike blushed. 'Thank God she didn't catch us... she would've had a stroke...'

"Why are you all sweaty, honey?"

"I was, um, working out. In my room," Spike lied.

She looked at him skeptically. "Is Sam here?"

"No... in fact... I have to tell you something about me and Sam. But let me get cleaned up first."

"All right." Joyce patted his arm, worry creasing her brow. She hoped nothing was wrong. Her poor baby just couldn't seem to get a break when it came to love. "I'm going to order a pizza for dinner."

"Sounds good, Mom." Spike smiled innocently.

Joyce went downstairs. He slipped back into his bedroom and leaned back against the door, breathing deeply.

Buffy giggled. "That coulda been awkward! That was some fancy footwork you did there, luv. Bobbin' and weavin'... Nice shirt," she said glancing at the t-shirt Dawn had given him.

"Yeah. God, I thought for -- damn -- they weren't supposed to come home yet." He looked at her. "I was hoping we'd have more time alone together."

Buffy put her arms around his neck, pulled him down and kissed him deeply. They moaned into the kiss. Spike's hands traveled down over her back to her ass, he took a cheek in each hand and squeezed as he ground himself against her.

"Spike, honey?" Joyce called. "Do you want pepperoni and mushroom on your pizza?"

They groaned in frustration.

Spike lifted his head. "Yeah, Mom. That's fine," he called back to her.

Spike sighed and rested his forehead against Buffy's. "Sorry," he said quietly. "I'm reconsidering the whole living at home thing..." He pouted.

It became necessary to move back home when his mother was having health problems, and he was missing the freedom and privacy that he had when he lived in the dorm. Especially when it came to spending time with a member of the opposite sex. But now, with Glory still sniffing around looking for her "Key", it was critical that he be as close to home as possible to protect his sister.

"S'okay, pet. Look at that pouty lip... Gonna get it. Gonna..." Buffy nibbled at his bottom lip.

He smiled and put his mouth back over hers, their tongues tangled lazily with the other's.

"Mmmm." Spike deepened the kiss.

"Spike?" Dawn called. "Mom wants to know if you want Diet Coke or regular with dinner."

Spike growled. Buffy had to keep from giggling, he was so cute when he growled. But also very, very arousing.

"God fucking damn it!" Spike ran a hand through his hair and swore under his breath. "Whatever! I -- don't -- care!" he called back harshly.

"Geez! I was just asking, butthole!" Dawn yelled back.

"I'd better go, yeah?" Buffy reluctantly moved away from him to put on her boots. "If I don't go now, I'm gonna throw you on the floor and have my wicked way with you again. That's not such a hot idea considering mom and little sis are right downstairs."

"I wish you could stay," Spike said leaning against the door.

"Me too, pet. Come to the crypt later? We'd have the whole place to ourselves..." She stuck the tip of her tongue out and waggled her eyebrows.

"You sold me." Spike laughed. "But... I have to go to the Magic Box first. Have I mentioned how much I'm not looking forward to that?"

"Not in the last five minutes." Buffy got up and grabbed her duster, shrugging into it. She smiled and walked over to him. "You want me to come with? We could show a united front."

"No. It's better if you're not there for this. There are too many weapons laying around. I can handle it."

Buffy gave him a soft kiss. "I'll see you later then, Spike-pet."

She climbed out the window and dropped out of sight.

Spike smiled wistfully, missing her presence already. Thinking about joining her at the crypt gave his spirits a boost as well as giving him the beginnings of a hard-on. His dick seemed to have a mind of its own when it came to Buffy. He hadn't had this many stiffys since he was 13. He tried to think unsexy thoughts to will it away: Getting demon goop on his favorite jeans, Grandma Summers in a bikini, Giles naked and -- that did the trick.

Spike went to wash up before dinner.





Spike came downstairs, freshly washed, wearing the blue shirt Dawn bought for him and a tight pair of well-worn blue jeans.

The doorbell rang.

"Spike, could you get that?" Joyce asked from the kitchen.

"Sure, Mom." He opened the door.

Buffy stood on the porch holding two pizza boxes, smirking at him.

"Buffy?" He glanced back into the house before stepping up to her and whispering. "What are you doing here? And with pizzas? Don't tell me you're working as a delivery girl..."

Buffy whispered to him, "I got halfway back to the crypt -- I missed you." She looked away shyly. "So I came back and met the pizza boy in the driveway. Dinner's on me tonight. Can I... come in?"

He blinked. It might be a good time to tell his mom and Dawn about them.

"Yeah. Yeah, come in."

"Buffy!" Dawn squealed when she came into the front hall. "I haven't seen you in so long!"

Buffy handed the boxes to Spike before Dawn threw her arms around her and hugged her.

"Hey, Nibblet. Missed you too, luv." Buffy smiled warmly.

"Are you staying for dinner? Can she, Spike?" Dawn looked at him hopefully. She loved her brother but he could be such an asswipe when it came to Buffy.

"It's fine with me. Mom's the one you should ask."

"Mom! Can Buffy stay for dinner?" Dawn ran into the dining room where Joyce was bringing in the salad.

"Hi, Buffy." Joyce smiled.

As strange as it seemed, Joyce always had a soft spot for the British vamp. She liked her a lot more than that horrible Drusilla that her son had dated. Something about Dru just rubbed Joyce the wrong way, even before she lost her soul and became evil.

"Hey, Joyce. How was your weekend?" Buffy asked.

"Oh, Spike told you about that? It was fine, but I'm glad to be back home. And of course you can stay for dinner. I... don't have any blood though..." Joyce fretted, she wanted to be a good hostess.

"That's ok. 'M not hungry for that." Buffy looked slyly at Spike.

It was true, she didn't feel particularly hungry, even though she should be famished by now. She mused that the amount of Slayer spunk she had swallowed over the last 24 hours provided her with all the nourishment she needed.

'Gah! Wouldn't it be grand if I could live on that... I'd be the fattest, happiest vamp in the world...' she thought, licking her lips lightly.

Spike cleared his throat. "Let's eat."





Dinner was going well.

They talked and joked. Dawn dominated most of the conversation, no surprise there. Buffy was sitting next to Spike. She couldn't resist brushing her leg against his a few times and putting her hand under the table occasionally to squeeze his thigh. She hoped he wouldn't be upset with her for it.

Spike did his best not to show any reaction when he felt Buffy's leg brushing his and especially when she put her hand on his thigh. He was nervous that his sister and mother would notice. He was also getting aroused having her this close to him. It was exciting in a disturbing way. He untucked his t-shirt to make sure no one would notice if he started getting too excited.

"And my friend Denise looks great as a blonde!" Dawn said. "Mom, can I dye my hair blonde? I'm like the only brunette in the state of California, and I'd look super cool!"

"Absolutely not, young lady! Your hair's beautiful. Why would you want to ruin it?"

"No fair! You let Spike dye his hair!" Dawn crossed her arms, her lower lip jutted out in a pout.

"Hey! I have NEVER dyed my hair!" Spike said defensively.

Highlights did not constitute a dye job -- in his mind anyway. He'd go to his grave never admitting to touching up his hair.

"Oh? Then why did your hair turn blonde?" Dawn smirked. "It looks awfully brown in old pictures of you."

"Cause... I spend a lot of time in the sun. That's why. The sun -- it naturally lightens hair. Sunlight reacts with... uh... chemicals and stuff in your hair."

"Sure, Bill Nye, you spend lots of time in the sun, what with the patrolling cemeteries at night all the time." Dawn laughed.

"Who?" Spike asked furrowing his brow.

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Don't you know anything? Bill Nye the Science Guy... It's a TV show."

"Well, pardon me for having better things to do than watch TV all the time," Spike said.

Buffy smiled as she watched the siblings pick at each other. She felt so warm in the bosom of what she considered her family. She'd never felt this way about any other humans after she became a vampire.

Buffy briefly flashed back on her mortal life: Buffy (when she'd still been known as Elizabeth), her mother and two little sisters in the sitting room of their well-to-do house in London; talking and laughing while they embroidered something or another. She missed them all so much sometimes. After she'd been turned, she hadn't gone back to see them, as much as she wanted to, she still loved them as much as she had before the turning. It would have upset them to see how she'd -- changed. Buffy had made sure that Drusilla didn't know of their existence. Angel had told Buffy how much Dru enjoyed slaughtering families. Buffy would NEVER permit Dru to touch one hair on her mother's head.

She'd tried to make Dru, Angel and Darla her new family, but she had never really fit in with them. Buffy shook herself from her reverie. After all these years, she still craved a place to belong, to be welcomed into a group. Maybe the Summers clan would accept her as one of their own -- eventually.

Buffy saw that Spike was looking a little peevish about Dawn's hair comments. Buffy liked the Slayer's hair and decided to lend him some support.

"I think your hair's quite fetching, Slayer. It suits you." She smirked.

"Uh, thanks, Buffy. Your hair... is, uh, nice too." Spike blushed slightly.

"It's so nice to see you two getting along," Joyce said poking at her salad with a fork, smiling at her son and Buffy.

"Um... yeah." Spike nodded and took a drink of his soda.

Dawn narrowed her eyes. "Is there something going on between you guys?"

Spike choked on his drink.

Buffy hit him on the back. "Alright, pet?" She looked at him with concern.

She tried desperately to remember those posters they had up in restaurants on how to give the Heimlich Maneuver should he need it. She'd have to learn about all that emergency stuff now that they were together. She wouldn't want something bad to happen to him because she didn't know the proper procedures.

"I'm okay." He coughed into his hand.

"That's it, isn't it?" Dawn asked, her face lighting up. "You guys finally got together?! All the little looks you've been giving each other that you don't think I noticed, Spike being nice to you for a change..."

Spike looked at Buffy and squeezed her hand under the table, she squeezed back and smiled. He turned back to his mom and sister.

"Mom, Dawn... Buffy and I are... together... in a romantic sense."

"Oh -- My -- God!" Dawn jumped up and clapped her hands together. "This is so great! I knew you guys were made for each other!" She ran around the table and gave Buffy a big hug. "I'm so happy for you!"

Buffy laughed. "Easy there, Platelet! Don't damage the goods. It's nice to see that you approve."

"Hell yes, I approve!" Dawn exclaimed.

"Dawn! Don't swear," Joyce said absently, a little stunned by the announcement.

"Sorry, Mom. Buffy, how did you get my bro to stop being a big jerk about the whole thing?"

"Hey! I resemble that remark." Spike smiled.

He knew that Dawn was right. He had been a big jerk before, not allowing himself to see the woman he belonged with when she was right under his nose.

"Isn't it great, Mom?" Dawn smiled at Joyce.

Joyce had a weak smile on her face. She wasn't sure how to feel about this. She wanted her son to have a normal life, as normal as he could have being the Slayer. That's why she'd lectured Drusilla about doing what was best for him. But... if this is what he really wanted...

"I'm certainly... surprised," Joyce said. Spike looked at her anxiously. "Honey, can I talk to you alone in the kitchen?" she asked, standing up and moving to the kitchen.

"Yeah... sure." He glanced at Buffy and pushed his chair back then stood up, following his mother.

Buffy was scared, her borrowed blood felt like it had been replaced with ice water. If Joyce didn't approve she might be able to convince him to drop Buffy like a bag of dirt.

"Don't worry, Buffy." Dawn patted her back. She could see how nervous her vampire friend was. "Mom likes you."

Buffy smiled at Dawn gratefully. "Thanks, Nibblet."

She stared at the doorway to the kitchen, waiting to hear the verdict.





"Honey... are you sure about this?" Joyce asked kindly.

"Willow asked me the very same thing. And I'll tell you what I told her. Yes. I'm sure, Mom. I-I'm crazy about her." Spike looked down, blushing slightly.

"You talked to Willow too?" He nodded. "Baby, I wanted you to have a normal life..."

"Mom, I can't have a normal life. You know that. Shouldn't I make decisions that will make me happy in the time I have left?"

"Don't say that! Don't talk like that... Don't talk like you have some kind of terminal disease," Joyce's voice broke. "I can't bear the thought of anything happening to you..."

Spike put his arms around his mother and hugged her.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just trying to be realistic. It's not just me though, any of our numbers could be up at any time." He hugged her tighter, remembering her recent health scare. "I want to make the most of however much time I have. I want to be happy."

"What happened to Sam?"

He pulled away and looked down. "We broke up. Yesterday. It wasn't going to work out for us."

"But she seemed so nice." Joyce squeezed his arm gently.

"She is nice... she's just... not for me. Buffy's the one for me, Mom. I can feel it." Spike looked her in the eyes.

Joyce could see he meant it. And talking him out of something once his mind was set on it was like pulling teeth.

"Do you love her?" Joyce asked.

"I... don't know. I think I do. I'm not sure I know what it feels like to love someone anymore," Spike said truthfully.

His heart had been torn in two when he had to send Dru to Hell and then again when she left him last year. His heart was in so many pieces by now that he didn't think he was even capable of loving someone. But what he felt for Buffy was strong and deep. If it wasn't love, it was the next best thing.

"Okay." Joyce gave him a watery smile. "If this is what you want... then okay. I'll support you."

He smiled brilliantly and hugged her again. "Thanks, Mom. You have no idea how much this means to me. To us."

"I love you so much, pumpkin-belly. I just want the best for you." Joyce sniffled.

"I know. And I love you too." Spike was getting choked up, it didn't help that she used her old childhood nickname for him. He hated that nickname, but it brought back some sweet memories.





Buffy stood up when Spike and Joyce reentered the dining room. She gulped when she saw signs of tears in their eyes. Spike smiled and walked over to her, bending down to kiss her softly on the lips. She looked at him wide-eyed.

"Buffy," Joyce said. "If you and Spike want to be together... I won't stand in your way."

Buffy smiled brightly. "Oh God, I... Thanks, Joyce! You're a hell of a woman."

Buffy threw her arms around Spike's neck and planted an elated kiss on his lips. He hesitated for a moment before giving in to it, kissing her back with just as much feeling.

"I'll clear the table," Joyce said, taking a few plates into the kitchen. This was going to take some getting used to.

"That's so cute! You guys look so cool together." Dawn waited for them to stop kissing.

She checked her wristwatch after a few moments.

"Okay, guys. Are you going to come up for air some time soon?" Dawn chuckled.

A few more moments passed.

"Okay... now we're getting into gross territory..."

Spike and Buffy continued kissing.





The Slayer and his vampire girlfriend walked hand-in-hand. Moonlight illuminated the lovers, casting them in a ethereal bluish-white light, as they walked down the street.

"That went really well, pet." Buffy sighed happily, looking up at the full moon.

Spike laughed. "Dawn was so excited I thought she was going to wet her pants."

"Think Dawn's still on our side, despite the grossing her out factor."

"She's happy for us."

Spike swung their joined hands between them. It felt so good to be with Buffy like this. Like normal lovers out for a walk.

"Your mum's okay with it? Really?" Buffy wanted to hear the truth.

"Yes. She does like you. She's not ecstatic about the situation or anything, but she wants me to be happy. And I am."

He stopped and put his arms around her.

"Yeah?" Buffy smiled and kissed him on the lips.

"Mmmhmm. Maybe I shouldn't press my luck anymore tonight. Save telling the others for another time..."

"Whatever you think's best, luv..." Buffy was anxious for him to get it over with and let the Scoobies know about them, it would make it much more real and official. She didn't want him to stall, the sooner he told them the better. "You're going to have yourself tied up in knots until you tell them."

Spike sighed resignedly. "Yeah... I know. I'll just have to suck it up and do it now."

Buffy cradled his face in her hands, stroking his cheekbones. "It'll be okay. If they care about you like they say they do, they'll accept it. No worries, right?"

"No worries," Spike repeated with a smile.

He knew it wouldn't be as simple as that, but he couldn't help how happy he felt when he held her in his arms.

She leaned up and kissed him. They held the kiss for a few moments before separating.

"I'll see you back at the crypt," she said, walking backwards.

"Okay. I'll be there with bells on."

"Mmmm... just let me picture that for a second." Buffy closed her eyes, smirking. "Okay... done! Oh yeah, can't wait, luv."

She turned and walked quickly back to the cemetery, trying not to worry about his friends' reactions and how they'd affect him.

Spike watched her until she disappeared from sight. He sighed again and shoved his hands into his pockets, walking down the street to the shop.


Riley stepped out of a nearby alley once Spike was further down the street. He had seen the whole disgusting display of affection between the Slayer and his Blondie Bear. He couldn't believe the Slayer was actually giving Buffy a chance. What happened to that girlfriend the Slayer used to have?

Buffy could be mean, even cruel to Riley... but he loved her. She was his girl, not the stupid Slayer's. He wracked his brain to come up with a way to get rid of the Spike once and for all. Smoke was practically coming out his ears from the effort.





Spike dragged his feet as he entered the Magic Box. Giles was standing at the counter, Xander, Anya, Willow and Tara sat around the central table.

"Spike, I was wondering when you'd grace us with your presence," Giles said with a hint of humor.

"Hey, Giles. Hey, guys."

Spike waved to them, he felt sick to his stomach. 'Just tell them! Be a man!'

"You okay, man?" Xander asked, noticing his friend's discomfort.

"There's a... um... something I've got to tell all of you..." Spike glanced at Willow who gave him a supportive nod.

Tara (who obviously was in the loop, thanks to Willow) smiled comfortingly.

'At least I have their support, that's of the good...'

"Is it Glory?" Giles asked, concerned. "Did she do something?"

"No."

"Then what is it? Don't leave us hangin'," Xander said, leaning back in his chair.

"It's about Buffy. We --" Spike began.

"Oh, for the love of all that's good and holy!" Xander threw his hands up in the air. "I'm telling you, man, you should just dust her and be done with it! You want me to do it? 'Cause I'll do it."

"It's not anything like that!" Spike said heatedly. The thought of anyone hurting Buffy tore him up inside. "Nobody's laying a hand on her, got it?"

"Who pissed in your Wheaties?" Xander was taken aback by Spike's defense of the pesky vamp.

"Buffy and I... have come to an understanding. We're going to be... together... as a couple, from now on."

Spike held his breath waiting for their reactions. There was silence.

Xander suddenly burst out laughing, slapping at the table top. "Oh! For a second there... You had me going! Score one for the Slayer! Spike, you magnificent bastard, that was a good one! You can always make me laugh." Xander leaned on Anya. "Wasn't that funny, Ahn?" Anya smiled weakly at him.

"I'm not kidding, Xan," Spike said gravely.

Xander's laughs slowed down to a trickle then stopped altogether once he got a look at Spike's face.

"I care about Buffy. And I'm going to have a relationship with her. I hope you guys can --"

"You've got to be fucking kidding?! Come on. Joke's over, Spike." A look of horror spread over Xander's face.

"It's not a fucking joke." Spike was getting irritated.

"Well..." Tara chimed in. "I think... it could be a good thing. She... Buffy has been trying to help and do good --"

"Are you insane too?" Xander stood up. "You would support this--this... There are no words to adequately describe the wrongness that is Spike and Buffy!”

Tara looked down at the table.

Willow stood up. “Hey! Mr. Man! Back off.” She put her hands on Tara’s shoulders protectively. “And it’s Spike’s life. If he wants to... date Buffy... then that’s his choice.” Willow stuck her chin out defiantly.

"It's true! You've all gone off the deep end! Giles!" Xander went to the counter, looking imploringly at the Watcher. "Giles you're all smart and wise, please tell me you're with me on this!"

Giles took off his glasses and began polishing them. "I don't know what to say..." he said quietly.

Spike walked to the counter and stood in front of Giles. "Just say it. Get it out," he said in a flat monotone.

Giles' opinion was important to Spike, he hated the thought that his father figure might be disappointed in him.

Giles looked into Spike's eyes. "I think you're making a dreadful mistake. You and Buffy... it's wrong, Spike. I should think you would know better by now."

Giles felt an almost physical pain when Spike winced at his words. He could tell his young charge was hoping for his support. But he was talking about being with Buffy... Giles couldn't possibly lend his support to this unholy and unwise union.

"Thank you!" Xander exclaimed, breathing a huge sigh of relief.

"Shut up, Xander!" Spike snapped.

"No, I won't. I'm not going to stand by twiddling my thumbs and watch you hook up with that murderer! Did you forget that, Spike old pal? Did you forget that she's essentially a serial killer in prison?" Xander demanded. "If it wasn't for that chip, we'd all be dead!"

Anya came over to Xander and put her hand on his arm. She wasn't sure what to say. As a former demon, she didn't see why Spike couldn't be with Buffy. After all, she had maimed, tortured and killed thousands of men over the years as a Vengeance Demon, and Xander didn't let that bother him. But she knew better than to express that to her boyfriend right now. Xander wasn't completely out of line though. What if Buffy did go nuts and kill someone? What if it was her Xander Bear? Anya was confused. The important thing right now was to stop the two friends from fighting and calm things down for rational discussion.

"Honey, come on... stop," Anya said in a soft voice.

"Buffy's different now. Like Tara said, she's changed." Spike tried to keep his cool.

Xander laughed mirthlessly. "Yeah? Since when? When did you have this big revelation about her? 'Cause last time I checked you hated her just as much as the rest of us. You know what's going to happen? I think it will go a little something like this: You get all lovey-dovey with the bleached wonder, she gets the chip out and goes on a killing spree starting with one of us! Which one of us will it be, buddy? Anyone want to place some bets?"

"That's NOT going to happen!" Spike was horror-struck.

How could he make Xander understand the bond he felt with Buffy? What could he say to convince him of something that Spike couldn't logically explain himself? His instincts and gut told him that Buffy would never jeopardize their relationship, she wouldn't go back to her old ways. Why couldn't Xander trust him?

"It happened with Dru and it'll happen with her too!" Xander said.

"No -- It -- Won't," Spike said slowly, grinding out each word. "You don't know anything." His jaw clenched.

"I know that you've got major vamp groupie issues, my friend. Here's a word of advice -- you're supposed to slay 'em, not fuck 'em!"

Spike's face colored with anger and embarrassment. The others looked back and forth like they were watching a tennis match as the two friends shouted at each other.

"Don't tell me how to do my fucking job! You have no idea what it's like... I know what my job is!" Spike fumed.

"That's the thing! I don't think you do! When Buffy starts killing again you won't have the guts to stake her before she racks up an impressive body count. Just like you couldn't do it when Drusilla went all evil!" Xander was on a roll.

"Xander... that's enough." Willow warned him.

"So that's what this is about? What happened with Dru? Buffy and Dru are two different people! She won't hurt anyone. She loves me."

Xander doubled over in laughter. "Oh God! Did she tell you that? You poor sap! She got you good, buddy! You actually believe her? You couldn't have been that desperate for a fuck! You did have a nice, human girlfriend last time I checked. But I guess she's out of the picture now, right?"

"Shut up," Spike ground his teeth together.

"That's what Dru did too, isn't it? Told you how much she loved you. Next thing you know she's evil and killing our friends! You could have stopped her way before she --" Xander said.

To this day, Spike was deeply ashamed that he didn't take evil Dru down when he had the chance.

He interrupted Xander, "Willow was able to restore her soul so -- "

"So? So nothing!"

Xander's tirade was like a tiny snowball that started rolling down the side of a mountain, it rolled down, gathering more bulk and speed as it descended, it was turning into an avalanche. He couldn't stop himself now.

"Let's ask Miss Calendar how happy she is about Dru and her shiny new soul! Oh, that's right, we can't! Because your girlfriend murdered her! If it wasn't for your --"

"Enough!" Giles shouted. Xander halted in mid-sentence. "That's quite enough." Things had gotten too far out of hand. Giles massaged his temples.

Spike was devastated. The worst part was that he knew Xander was at least partly right. Tears popped up in his bright, blue eyes, his facial muscles twitched as he struggled not to break down in front of everyone. His complexion turned ashen.

"Spike? Are... you okay?" Tara asked with concern. She didn't like the look of his coloring.

Xander looked a bit shocked himself. He raised a shaky hand and ran it through his hair as he blew out a breath. He hadn't meant to say a lot of that.

"Xander? Why don't you sit down..." Anya rubbed his back.

"Now... let's just take a few minutes here, guys." Willow tried to get control of the situation. "Things... were said. But it was in the heat of the moment. We said things we didn't mean --"

"He meant every word," Spike said in a rough voice. "Didn't you, Xan? Let me ask you a question. If I'm such a fuck up, if I'm such a lousy, piece of shit of a Slayer, why the hell do you hang around with me? If you really think I'm responsible for the murders Dru committed, how can you stand the fucking sight of me?!"

Xander looked closely at his best friend and saw how deeply wounded he was. Xander's anger fell away rapidly to be replaced with remorse. He didn't approve of Buffy, but he hadn't meant to hurt his friend like this.

"Spike... man... I was just trying to... I didn't mean..." Xander shook his head.

"Yes -- You -- Fucking -- Did!" Spike cut him off. "And you know it. That's when the truth comes out, when your guard is down. Well, you know what? FUCK YOU!" Spike hissed.

Xander flinched back.

Spike stormed across the room to the exit. "If I want to be with Buffy, I'm going to be. End of story. No matter what any of you think."

"Spike! Don't go. Let's sort this out..." Willow's face was scrunched up in pain, it hurt her like crazy to see her friends fighting like this. She had no idea it would get this bad, she would have advised Spike to keep his relationship a secret if she had known.

He turned back to them. "I have to go. I have to get out of here," Spike's voice cracked. "At least now I know who I can count on around here. Who my real friends are."

He gave Xander a look that could kill before he stormed out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

Xander sat down, feeling numb and in shock. He knew that he'd fucked up, he had let his mouth run on too long. Even if he did believe what he'd said, there were some things best kept to yourself. He had hoped to talk Spike out of his foolhardy decision to date the pesky bleached vamp, but ended up insulting and hurting him instead. It hadn't gone the way he had hoped.

Xander put his head in his hands. Nobody said anything for the next few minutes.





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