Twelfth. Hanging by a moment
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
and I don't know what I'm diving into
just hanging by a moment here with you
Lifehouse, Hanging by a moment
Oh, why you look so sad?
tears are in your eyes
come on and come to me now
don’t be ashamed to cry
let me see you through
‘Cause I’ve seen the dark side too
when the night falls on you
you don’t know what to do
nothing you confess
could make me love you less
Pretenders, I’ll stand by you, from the album Last of the Independents
“What in hell were you thinking?” Giles looked at his nephew, disturbed by the implications of what his temper had wrought.
Will sighed heavily, “Actually wasn’t thinking at that moment.” He paced around the office, unwilling to lock eyes with the older man. “Just reacted.”
“Will, that was quite possibly one of the stupidest things you’ve done in a very long time.” Giles watched the other man pace, his hands folded on the desk in front of him. “You’re lucky, so far, that Finn doesn’t exactly remember what happened. As it stands, only Xander Harris mentioned it and he was more impressed than worried.”
Finally looking up at the other man, Will stared at him, unsure of what he was getting at. “What do you mean, only Harris mentioned it?”
“Harris was the only one of the students that mentioned what you’d done. Finn never said a word and the girls, apparently, never saw it. None of the other students mentioned it either.” Giles stared at him over his lenses. “And Harris’ reaction was bordering on awe rather than upset. Rather disturbing.”
Will suppressed a grin, knowing that it wouldn’t go over well with either the administrator or the uncle, but it was a near thing. Harris was a bit of all right, when he wasn’t acting like a total git. “Didn’t really hit the boy anyway. Just kind of lifted my fist and the boy ran into it.”
Giles raised an eyebrow, knowing that Will was playing with semantics and coloring it to make it all better, thereby absolving him of his actions. “You do realize that explanation won’t work if Finn decides to complain.”
Blowing out a deep breath, Will faced the possibility that Finn could cause him a real problem. “Yeah.” He paused, different scenarios running through his mind, disciplinary procedures that Rupert might be forced to employ. “Yeah I know. It wasn’t a smart move.” Will moved to sit against Rupert’s desk, his head bent in contrition. “Temper got the best of me.”
“I thought you had gotten that under control. It’s been a long time since you’ve done something this stupid.” Giles wasn’t going to let this go, because if he did, and Finn complained, then his neck would be on the line also. “You do realize I’m going to have to do something about this.”
Shoving his hand into his pockets, Will kicked a foot back against the desk, looking for all the world like a contrite five-year old. “Yeah. What’ve you decided?”
He really didn’t want to do this, but Will’s actions and the looming threat of a possible complaint from the Finns had forced his hand. “There’s an official reprimand in your personnel file on the way you handled the situation. Its rather vague in the whys and wherefores, but its there.’
“So you didn’t mention Finn running into my fist?” Will fought the small grin that was threatening to break through his features.
“No. I didn’t mention it. Just that your intervention in the altercation between the two boys could have been handled better.”
“Thanks. ‘Preciate the cover-up on my behalf.” Will brushed his fingers through his hair, loosening the curls further, his eyes filled with concern. “Are we done here?”
“Yes Will. Please try and remember you aren’t one of the students, would you? And for the love of god, stay away from Finn.”
She wasn’t in class all week. He’d checked with the attendance office on Tuesday and had been told she hadn’t been in any of her classes. That night he’d driven past her house, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
Wednesday night he walked past on his way to and from open mic at the Espresso, despite the fact it was out of his way.
Thursday’s arrival had him thinking about the possibility that he was stalking her when he walked by with the dogs. He was supposed to have dinner with Rupert and Jenny, but he’d begged off, unwilling to be a third wheel. Besides, he wasn’t all that fond of turkey and he’d let his laundry pile up and yeah, he was making excuses, but Will didn’t want to go.
He was drinking coffee, term papers strewn across his dining room table, stereo cranked to the Smiths so that he and Morrissey could be morose together when his cell phone went off. Figuring it was his uncle making one last ditch effort to convince him to have dinner with them, Will flipped it open, saying “no ‘m not gonna change m’mind. Not coming to dinner.”
There was a pause, then a soft female voice said, “I don’t really remember inviting you, and I would’ve but I’m not home this year – maybe next year?”
Will held the phone to his ear, disbelief on his features. “Buffy?”
“Yeah its me.” Her voice was very soft and faint.
“Hang on a minute, pet, gotta turn down the tunes.” Will lowered the volume, then asked, “you okay?”
Silence. There was a sniffle, then more silence. He was about to say something when he heard her breath catch and a soft sob broke through.
“What’s wrong?”
She shook her head, trying to force the lie from her throat, but Buffy couldn’t. “Nothing.” And with that single word her composure broke and the tears were falling freely.
He waited a beat, knowing what he was about to suggest was wrong, but he had no control over himself where this girl was concerned. “Where are you?”
“In Los Angeles with my dad.” Her voice caught on the last word and Will had the sudden impression that she wasn’t telling him everything.
“Where are you?” He glanced at the clock, it was a little past four and he’d been marking papers and writing for the better part of the day. He needed a break.
“I’m not sure.”
That admission got his attention. “What? What the . . . “ he stopped, getting his temper under control. “Buffy, tell me.”
“My dad, he, he threw me out after I told him. He . . . he said I was a stupid selfish little girl who . . who. . . who only thought about herself.” Her hiccups were loud, countered by the softness of her spoken words.
What the fuck? What kind of father says that to his daughter? Will didn’t say anything, holding onto his temper by bare threads.
“Where’s your mum?” Even as he asked, he knew she wasn’t in Sunnydale, probably spending the day with her family.
“At my aunt Darlene’s in Chicago.” Buffy sniffled, then said, “hang on a minute.”
The noise of her inelegantly blowing her nose almost made him smile. There was no other background noise and that bothered him, so when she got back on the phone, Will didn’t waste any time. “Where are you?”
“Not far from my dad’s place – outside the mall.”
Will was putting on his jacket, grabbing his keys from the other jacket and was halfway out the door when he thought to ask, “have you called anyone else?”
“No. I thought about calling my mom but she’s . . there’s nothing she can do to help me. Besides there is no one else. . . I just need someone to talk to until I can, you know, get enough courage to go back there.”
“No.” Will didn’t know what prompted him, but he said, “you stay put. I’ll come get you.”
“Don’t be crazy. I’m like two hours away.”
“Buffy?” He paused, waiting until he had her full attention. “When did your father toss you out?”
She hesitated so long he was afraid she’d disconnected. Instead she sniffled again and whispered very softly, “last night.”
Oh that fuckin’ tears it. “Don’t you leave that spot. ‘M on my way. Be there before six.” He was already pulling out of his driveway, his beloved DeSoto purring under her hood, man and machine anxious to be on the road.
She was arguing with him, but Will just kept repeating, “too late, ‘m already out the door,” until she quieted down.
Buffy took a deep breath, then whispered very quietly, “thanks Will. I can’t. . . just. . thanks.”
“No problem kitten, just sit tight and wait for me, yeah?”
“Okay. See you in a little while.” She started to disconnect the call, but his voice stopped her.
“Sweetheart. Don’t cry. I’ll be there.”
“Kay.”
Why did I call him?
Because you’re scared. And no one else cares. Buffy clutched her cell phone tight, her knuckles white from the effort. She was tired, too tired to close her eyes. Too afraid. Too hurt.
Her father’s harsh words and even harsher tones washed over her again, for the umpteenth time. “Brat. Always thinking of yourself. No respect for me, for anything. Useless. You are going to end up in a trailer park or on welfare, with no education, a drain on me. I’m not supporting this.” And the worst? She wasn’t sure if it was him saying “your mother should have had an abortion” or “I’m taking you Friday morning to a clinic whether you like it or not.”
Buffy had lost it then, screaming at him, and he just told her since she had no respect for him and his wishes she had to go. And when she’d asked how she was supposed to get back home he’d said, “I don’t know. Don’t care. I don’t have a daughter.”
Buffy had gone.
With forty-two dollars and her cell phone. No clothes, except what she’d been wearing, which were now really grungy. For the first couple of hours she’d cried and then tried to find a way back to Sunnydale.
There were no trains between Los Angeles and Sunnydale. Cabs were way to expensive and they wanted half up front for such a long trip. The buses were, believe it or not, also more money than she had.
Buffy had gone back to her father’s then, not knowing what else to do. She’d climbed the fence and broken one of the windows in the garage and slept on the cold cement floor.
At least she knew it was safe. But she’d panicked when her father had seen the broken window and called the cops. She slipped away while his back was turned, this time really afraid.
And that was how she ended up in the mall, scared and alone, but even that refuge wasn’t going to last. The mall had closed at one o’clock and Buffy had no where else to go. Her composure has slipped completely when she watched a heavily pregnant cleaning woman who looked no older than herself, leave the mall with her husband or boyfriend at her side.
Her tears must’ve caught the attention of the couple because they stopped and the girl walked toward her.
“¿Pobrecita, que paso?” When Buffy didn’t answer, the girl asked, “what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Shaking her head Buffy refused to look at the other girl.
“You got nowhere to go? No family?” Settling her pregnant bulk on the bench beside her, the girl patted her shoulder. “No one you can call?”
That’s when his name popped into her head, his words last week registering. She’d programmed his number into her address book, despite feeling crazy for doing it, but now she was glad she had.
Wiping her eyes on the tissue the other girl had handed her, Buffy said, “I do. Have someone. . . who. . yeah.”
“Good, you call. He’ll come.” Patting her arm one last time, the other girl slowly got to her feet. “You be okay now?”
“Yeah. Thanks.” Buffy smiled up at the girl shyly, gratitude clear in her eyes.
Nodding her acceptance of Buffy’s words, the Latina walked away.
That’s when Buffy had called him.
Now, nearly an hour later, she was no closer to safety, but strangely she was feeling better. Between the kindness of a complete stranger and Will’s quiet fury on her behalf, Buffy was okay. Or that could be just because I’m so beyond tears and I’m too scared out of my mind to cry.
I’m so tired. I just wanna sleep. In my own bed. And I’m so throwing these clothes out when I get home.
He knew he was driving to fast, knew it and didn’t care in the slightest. What kind of father disowns his only child – and throws her out of his house, uncaring of that child’s circumstances. What kind of man turns his back on his own flesh and blood?
Maybe it was because he only had his uncle, that all of his other family was gone save cousins and a few aunts, that Will figured family was worth preserving at any cost. He’d do anything to have more time with his mother – would have sold his soul to keep her with him – but he hadn’t been able to save her.
Will didn’t understand what kind of man threw away his family with both hands. He didn’t get it. Switching lanes, Will narrowly missed colliding with a speeding Ferrari and shot the driver a dirty look as he sped past. Thankfully, it wasn’t a normal workday, wasn’t even a normal weekend. It was Thanksgiving and there were only a precious few drivers on the road, making his life much easier.
Checking his cell phone for the time, Will didn’t see the Ferrari cut him off until it was almost too late.
It was just after five when her phone rang, waking her up from the sleep she’d sworn she wasn’t going to allow herself to get.
Buffy jerked awake, the noise from the phone scaring her. “Hello?”
“Buffy? Where are you?” Joyce’s voice was laced with concern and anger.
“Waiting for a ride back home.” Awake now, Buffy’s eyes darted around the deserted parking lot, getting more nervous by the second.
Joyce was silent for a moment, then, “I called your father’s to talk to you and he told me what happened. I’m so sorry sweetheart. I never would have left you there if I’d thought for one second.”
Buffy cut her off before her mother could continue. She really didn’t want to hear it – this was so typical of the relationship between them. One of her parents would say something cruel and heartless and then the other would apologize and materially make it up to her. “I know.”
Both women were silent, uncertainty filling the awkward space. “He’s going to send your stuff back.”
“Okay.” There was more Buffy wanted to say and more that she wanted to hear, but Joyce remained silent. “I won’t be home until next Wednesday. I left money in your drawer.”
“Yeah.” Buffy heard the sound of breaking glass and got scared.”look Mom, I gotta go. I’ll call you when I get home, okay?”
“Sure sweetheart. I love you.” Buffy hesitated, afraid the crying was about to start all over again, but gained control. “Yeah. Love you too.”
Staring out into the growing darkness, Buffy made a promise to the baby in her belly. No matter what happens, baby, you come first. Not gonna leave you alone for days. Gonna take care of you always.
Will wrestled the DeSoto around the Ferrari, almost scraping the divider. The heavier car fish-tailed, despite the fact the ground wasn’t wet and he barely controlled the car, keeping it away from hitting either the Ferrari or the divider.
The Ferrari did spin out of control, but it was already behind him and Will watched out of his rear view mirror as the Ferrari made contact with the wall. Ouch. Asshole.
He nearly pulled over, but when the driver got out of the vehicle, Will shook his head and kept going.
Quarter past five and he was hitting the outskirts of Los Angeles; a trip that normally took a minimum of two hours had been accomplished in just over an hour. Another fifteen or so minutes and she’d be safe.
He hit last number on his phone and cursed when it went right to voice-mail. Will drove on, his eyes constantly watching for cops, but it seemed like everyone was home today, because there were even less people on the road in Los Angeles than there were on the highway. Sighing in frustration, Will tried the phone again.
She answered on the second ring.
His eyes closed briefly in gratitude that she was still safe as her voice washed over him. “Hello?”
“Lo kitten. ‘M almost there.” Buffy’s eyes closed, relieved to hear his strong low voice in her ear.
“Hey. How far away are you?” She had a death grip on the phone, and she was wedged into a dimly lit corner of the mall, the building solid behind her and a small stand of shrubs hiding her from the parking lot.
“Only ‘bout ten minutes away. Hitting the exit now. Should be there soon.” His tones were strong, steady and she could almost feel his presence coming closer.
“Okay that’s good.” That’s when he heard the fear in her voice.
“Wha’s wrong? You okay?” He’d gotten caught at two successive stop lights and he was thinking about blowing the second one when she spoke.
“I guess. I’m cold and tired. . . and” she broke off when a noise started her and when she didn’t speak, he gunned the engine and roared through the light.
“Hang on kitten, I’m pulling into the lot any second. Where are you?” His eyes scanned the deserted parking lot, looking for her.
“By the movie theatre.” He cursed under his breath, then made a quick U-turn in the parking lot and drove around to the other side of the large mall. “All right. Where? Don’t see you.”
“Hang on.” She stood up and emerged from behind a couple of low bushes. “I’m over here.”
He rolled to a stop, watching her step around the shrubs and approach the car. Will could see the fear recede as she caught a glimpse of his face.
Buffy slid into the passenger seat and leaned back against the leather. Her eyes dropped closed and she whispered “thanks so much for this. . . I . . this . . thanks.”
“Any time kitten.” He put the car into gear and drove off.
Okay. So that's the next chapter. Was it any good? Didya like it? Was it worth me writing it? Gotta let me know. Coz I so can't judge my own work.