[A/N: Ever see two magnets? How they can’t help but be pulled together? This couple are just like that. Can’t keep them apart. So why fight it? Title is a line from one of Sarah McLachlan’s songs, see if you can figure out which one and the quotes are as attributed. Disclaimers still in full force and effect].
Seventh. Some comfort here.
Once discover comfort, and there is no turning back
Mason Cooley, City Aphorisms, Seventh Selection
Thou art all the comfort
The gods will diet me with.
Cymbeline. Act iii. Sc. 4.
Will berated himself all the way home – great way to show disinterest mate – and during his lonely excuse for dinner – gotta stop favoring the chit, Will, she’s your student – while walking the dogs – just let it go, find someone else, like Anya or Jenny or any one other than a seventeen year old girl – and all through his session on the open microphone. All to no avail.
He couldn’t get her out of his head.
So it was really no surprise when he ran into her on his way home from the Espresso Pump just outside Restfield cemetery.
He stopped dead in his tracks watching her. She was sitting on a grave, facing the headstone, her hands gesturing like she was carrying on a conversation. Stepping closer he could hear her talking.
“Just . . . I wonder why he won’t . . . not that I want him too. So with the not wanting to talk to Riley right now. But if he really loved me like he said he did, wouldn’t he at least try? Even knowing he shouldn’t? So that means he doesn’t really love me then.”
Taking in a deep breath, Buffy rambled on, “which is good, ‘coz not sure I love him either. Really not sure I love him at all.”
Abandoning that train of though, he watched her shift a bit, her voice going on, “and you should have seen Harmony today, so with the not so nice talking about me and Will – I told you about him right, Gram? My oh so lickable English teacher? He got so. . . “
The sound of her voice receded, his mind focusing on one thing. Lickable? She thinks I’m lickable. Bloody hell. Not good William. Turn round now. Go home. The other way. Now.
His feet decided otherwise, drawing him closer to where she was sitting and before he could think better of it, he heard the sound of his voice speaking her name. “Buffy?”
Spinning around, Buffy fell over, landing on her side, clumsy from the speed of her own movement.
Looking up at him from her new position, Buffy smiled sheepishly, saying, “hi, Mr. S. Whatsup?”
“Nothing. What are you doing out here at one in the morning?” He looked down at her, a slight smile on his face.
“Um. Having conversations with dead people?”
Oh she was just too bloody cute. Her grin was just adorable and Will was forced to broaden his own smile back at her. His chuckle sounded in the air around them and he blurted out what he was thinking, “that’s just bloody cheeky of you.”
Wrinkling up her nose at him, she asked, “does that mean I’m funny or chubby?”
Giving her response the laughter it deserved, Will said, “sassy. Snarky. Take your pick, Pet.”
“I like sassy.” She smiled up at him, not so innocently flirting with him. Changing the subject she asked, “coming home from poetry night?”
“Yeah.” He looked around, glancing down at the headstone asked his own question, “who’s this you’re talking to, then?”
“Oh! My grandmother. She died two years ago.” Gesturing toward the stone slab, Buffy said, “her name was Anne. She was the best.”
“My mum’s name is Anne,” was out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Oh you idiot wanker, you’re not supposed to be talking to the girl like she’s a bloody date.
But before he could backpedal and get himself out of the corner he was rapidly painting himself into, Buffy responded, “I’m named for her. Well, Anne is my middle name. So it like, counts, you know?” Tilting her head at him, Buffy asked, “so what’s your middle name?”
“Giles.” He found himself leaning against the wall of a small mausoleum, his hands in his pockets, looking down at the girl at his feet. Stop looking at her like that you bloody fool.
“Like Mr. Giles?” A light dawned on her and she made the connection, “are you related to our Mr. Giles?”
“Yeah. He’s m’uncle. My mother’s brother in fact.” He looked away, shifting his stance and Buffy clearly got the impression that he wasn’t at all happy about her knowing that.
“He’s so nice. He can be kinda scary, you know, but he’s been really nice to me, especially lately.” Buffy looked down at her hands, sadness stealing through her. “Not like everyone else.”
And just like that he was crouched down in front of her, her hands in his, words he hadn’t had any intention of saying to her tumbling from his lips. “They’re idiots. Don’t pay them any mind. You don’t have to be ashamed for anything. You’ve done nothing wrong, kitten its just an. . .it happens, not anyone’s fault.”
I’m not gonna cry. I’m not gonna cry in front of him. I’m not. The thoughts circled round even as she watched the tears pooling on their clasped hands. “I’m scared. And no one’s talking to me, just Xander and Willow and everyone’s making fu . . fun of me. Her breathing hitched and caught as the tears fell harder and Will was hard pressed to fight the need to pull her into his arms and hold her close.
Knowing he was doing the wrong thing, he disengaged one hand and wiped away her tears, intoning softly, “shhhh. . . it’s goin’ t’be okay, kitten, it will.”
Buffy was sort of arguing with him, “no. Its not gonna be okay. My mom is so mad at me she barely talks to me and Willow doesn’t. . . get it and Xander’s the only one who’s been nice to me, but that’s coz his mom was six-sixteen when and” she sort of collapsed in on herself and Will knew his inner battle was lost. Kissing away his resolve to stay away from her, he pulled her into his arms and rocked her gently.
“Its okay. I promise it’ll get better, maybe not right away, but things will work out, you’ll see.” One hand was on her back, alternately rubbing up and down and circling her, the other was holding her head against his shoulder and all he could think was that someone should be worrying about her like this all the time. She’s such a tiny little thing, how the hell is she goin’ to be able to do all the hard things she’s gonna have to do soon? Poor little kitten.
Finally the tears subsided and Buffy held onto him, her hand curled around his upper arm, just breathing softly in the aftermath of her breakdown. Her breath drifted across his neck and Will suppressed his body’s reaction to having her so close. No. You wanker. Not bloody now. Battling with his own inner voice, he nearly missed Buffy’s quavering words.
“Thanks so much. I feel like such an idiot. I keep crying for the stupidest reasons.” She sniffled, wiping her tears against his black cotton tee shirt.
“Can’t help them. Hormones and such, probably be worse before the end. Don’t have to apologize for that, sweets.” Will’s deep voice sounded so good next to her ear, just like she’d imagined it would and Buffy snuggled in closer, silently wishing he would keep talking. After a short pause, he did start talking again. “So, why are you out here at this time of night?”
“Had another fight with my mom. She thinks it would be a good idea if I gave the baby up for adoption.” Buffy took another deep breath, continuing, “said it would be good for the baby to have a better life than I could give it. But its my baby. And who’s going to love it more than me? I’m scared that baby won’t get . . . and I don’t really want to give her up.”
“You know its not goin’ to be easy, raising a baby alone. What about school and all the rest?” But she was shaking her head, her arguments already in place.
“No. I can go to school anytime, even at night as long as I have a babysitter and I can work from home or something, I don’t have to worry about that now. Right now she’s the important thing.”
He had to admire her determination and part of him wasn’t willing to destroy her optimism. But he knew firsthand exactly how hard it could be for a single parent. After all, he’d lived with one up until going off to university. Is that why you’re letting her worm her way under your skin, mate?
Once more, his mouth started moving before his brain was completely engaged, and holding her close, Will started speaking. “My mum got married young, not much older ‘an you are now, but she and my da waited a bit to have me. Everything was roses, even after I was born, then my dad got sick and when I was about 3 he passed on.” He paused a bit, lost in the memories of his mother always crying and trying to be strong for him. “Wasn’t easy, and she had to go on the dole for a bit, even with the money Uncle Rupes was givin’ her. She went back to work soon as I was in school, an’ didn’t stop until she passed on.”
They were silent for a bit, both of them lost in thought, neither one of them willing to break the comfortable silence until, finally, Buffy said, “I’m sorry.”
He tilted his head to the side to get glance at her face and she smiled sadly at him, “what’re you saying sorry for?”
“Because you had it way worse than I did.” She made an aborted shrugging gesture and Will chuckled a bit.
“Nothin’ to be sorry ‘bout. Wasn’t your fault, wasn’t really anyone’s. My da got cancer and m’mum just never really recovered from losing ‘im. S’times I think the only reason she lasted as long as she did was for me.” He shifted, getting more comfortable, easing the pressure off his knees and then his voice sounded again. “Anyway, didn’t tell you all this for sympathy, pet, told you because . . . well, dunno why exactly I told you.”
And he didn’t, not really. Part of him just wanted to share something of himself with her, letting her know that he understood how hard it was and that she wasn’t the first girl to go through something like this. Circumstances might have been just a little different in his case, but Will knew that his mother would have fought tooth and nail to keep him – hell, she’d done it.
Her lips brushed against his neck so softly that he wasn’t even sure he’d felt it, and her whispered “thank you for telling me,” wafted gossamer soft in the air between them.
Closing his eyes, William fought a battle with himself. His heart was telling him to keep her close and protect her from the very harsh reality that was about to come knocking on her door, but his logical mind was telling him that she was seventeen, and in this country at least, off limits to him. Before he could out-think himself, Will sighed once more, than nudged her a bit, “c’mon kitten, let’s get you home.”
But she was already asleep, her face pressed against his chest, her hand curled around his neck.
Struggling to his feet, Will held onto her, never once losing his hold on her. Heading in the direction of her house, William shut down his brain and refused to think at all about anything.
*********************************************************************************
She woke up halfway home, shifting in his arms.
“Almost there kitten” was his statement when she made questioning noises about what was happening.
He stopped two houses away from hers, when he noticed all the lights on at her house. “Buffy? Does your mother normally stay up this late?”
Following the line of his gaze, she sighed, then started to move out of his arms. “She’s not awake. She just forgot to turn off all the lights.” Not looking at him, she said softly, “she does that when she’s been drinking.”
By the tone and resignation in her voice, Will knew it was a fairly often occurrence. At a loss for words, he just watched her, as she squared her shoulders preparing to head home. Her thank you was a bare whisper in the night air and William was hard pressed to keep his mouth shut and just let her go.
“Buffy?” He caught up with her when she was a couple of feet away, his hand reaching out to stop her. She looked up at him, tears pooling in her eyes and his heart contracted. “Listen, if you need anything, someone to talk to, come see me, okay?”
The words she wanted to say got caught in her throat, choking her so that all she could do was nod her head in understanding. The tears that had been threatening broke free to slide in twin tracks down her face.
Will pulled her against his chest, letting her cry out her sorrows. For long moments he just held her until finally she moved away, again not looking at him, Buffy said, “thanks. I just . . . .sometimes its really hard you know? Pretending everything’s okay. Pretending I’m okay.”
“I know. Life’s not easy kitten and some of us have it harder than others. But you’ll get through it.”
She shrugged, then looked up at him. “Thanks. For listening. For just. . . thanks.”
“Anytime.”
And surprising neither of them, Buffy moved back into his arms, hugging him, her arms around his waist. Will hugged her back, enjoying the feel of her in his arms and didn’t even realize he’d kissed her forehead until she gazed up at him.
Breaking away from her hold, Will said gruffly, “best get inside now Buffy. Its late.”
Without another word, but a somewhat confused look on her face, Buffy sprinted away.
Will stood watching the house long after all the lights were out.
Okay. . .so, pleae let me know what you all think of this one, because I'm curious to see how this works. Review please?
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