Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer-: I own none of the Buffyverse characters or story lines, or any of the song lyrics used anywhere in this story!
Disclaimer-: I own none of the Buffyverse characters or story lines, or any of the song lyrics used anywhere in this story!
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Spike leant against a head stone, taking a drag from his cigarette as Buffy killed the last of the Gorlak demons. She had already taken one out, Spike dealing with another, and when he saw her capably dealing with the last of the three demons, he sat back to admire his slayer in action. Her moves were so graceful and fluent; he couldn’t tell where one move ended and another began.

Killing the Gorlak demons was kind of like dusting a vampire, except you had to use a sword through the heart and then sever its spinal cord somehow, either a sharp twist to the neck, or a clean cut through it normally did the trick. Spike watched as the Gorlak demon charged at Buffy and his body twitched slightly about to move to help her, but relaxed when he realised she used it to her advantage, using his momentum, and her slayer strength to throw him over her head. She back flipped and landed straddling his chest. She plunged the sword through the demons heart then swung the sword under her arm, over her head in a ninja type style before slicing down though its bulging neck. The killing of the Gorlak was similar to a vampire, and so was what happened to the body afterwards…in a way. Instead of dust, the Gorlak turned into a pile of green slime. Buffy realised this in time to stop herself landing in the gunk and flipped herself away using her hands to propel herself upwards and forwards.

She looked down and checked over her clothes, silently thanking the gods that another piece of her wardrobe hadn’t fallen victim to her slaying profession. She was seriously contemplating charging the Watchers council for the outfits that she had lost to the cause.

She looked up to see Spike smiling at her.

“What?” She asked him with a smile.

“Nothing.” He replied with a grin. “Come on lets go tell Rupes we killed his prophesised demon.”

Spike fell into step beside the slayer and followed her to her house. The journey was done almost subconsciously on his part, and Buffy’s too for she always came this route home after patrolling. But for Spike it was a route that held memories. Memories of sorrow and pain.

The graveyard they had killed the Gorlak’s in was the same one that Buffy had been buried in and almost every night Spike had walked from Buffy’s house, where he had been looking after Dawn, with a white rose in his hand. He would place it on her grave and talk to her, sometimes for hours upon end before turning away, tears streaked down his pale face as he returned to his crypt before the sun arose.

Several times just after Buffy had been buried Spike smelt the sunrise way too strong, part of him knowing he was cutting it fine, but another part of him wanting to give up and let the sunrise take him, just as it had risen and engulfed his hope, burning it away that morning after Glory’s defeat, when he saw her lifeless body atop of the debris.

Buffy noticed his desolate gaze and placed her hand on his arm, bringing him gently out of his reverie.

“You ok? You have pensive face.” Buffy told him.

“Sorry love, just thinking is all.”

They continued the journey back to Buffy’s, her hand had not left Spike’s arm the whole way back, neither one really noticing because it felt so natural.

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They reached Buffy’s house and after discovering a note from Dawn saying she was staying over at Janice’s and phoning Giles to report on the Gorlak situation, Spike was now standing on the porch just outside the door, Buffy on the inside.

“Well, I’d better be off.” He spoke casually but Buffy didn’t miss the slight hint of sadness in his voice. Neither one had spoken about the kiss that almost happened, and even though they hadn’t actually kissed, Buffy missed the safety and closeness of his body so intimately close to hers.

Spike was about to turn away when Buffy spoke.

“Spike…stay.” She said simply.

Spike couldn’t hide the small smile that fell on his lips, but he cocked his head to the side they way he always did when he asked a silent question of ‘why’.

“We could watch a movie or something. We haven’t done that in like…ever.” Buffy smiled.

In all truth Buffy couldn’t care less about the movie. Recently the thought of Spike returning to his crypt made her wince. The place was homely enough, rugs kept the cold of the stone floor out, the dozens of candles around the place cast it in a warm orange glow and the other little touches he had added made the place somewhere she felt safe. Yet she still hated to think of Spike in a crypt alone, while here she was with a warm house that had plenty of room for a vampire visitor who she wanted to take up permanent residence.

“Ok,” Spike smiled softly at her. “But only if I get to chose the movie.”

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When Spike had chosen the movie, Buffy burst into giggles, but Spike didn’t care in the slightest, seeing Buffy laugh made his lifeless heart jump.

She had changed into her pyjamas while Spike had set the movie up. Her slayer senses picked up Spike’s grumbling downstairs of ‘bloody slayer…bloody beauty regime’ a smile spread across her lips which widened and made her heart skip a beat when she heard him add ‘doesn’t need it she’s beautiful just the way she is.’

Her mind had wandered back to the feeling of being wrapped safely in Spike’s embrace earlier that evening and she longed for that again. Spike’s yell of “Come on Buffy, I wanna watch the movie some time tonight!” brought her out of her musings. He had meant to sound pissed off she was sure, but he couldn’t hide the humour in his voice. It was something she picked up on all the time now, the subtle changes in his tone of voice that betrayed what he had meant what he spoke to sound like. She could hear the humour within the ‘annoyance’, the sadness within the strong demeanour, and the sarcasm when he tried to be serious, usually when he was at one of the Scooby meetings.

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The movie was now halfway through and Oscar the ‘shark slayer’ was doing a dance on a table to his own version of MC Hammer’s ‘can’t touch this’.
Spike looked down and saw his beautiful Slayer sleeping soundly, her head resting against his chest. As the movie had started Buffy sat down next to Spike and pulled his arm around her, interlacing her fingers with his and lying against him. He had run his fingers through her golden, silky strands which had lulled her into a pleasant sleep.

Spike reached for the remote with his free had and muted the sound. He twisted and pulled Buffy into his arms and stood, cradling her against him as he walked over to the stairs. He descended slowly so as not to wake the sleeping beauty held safely in his arms. He walked in through her open door and placed her softly on her bed.

Pulling the covers over her he leant down and placed a soft kiss on her forehead and whispered “Night my love”, before leaving the room quietly, casting a glance back at Buffy’s sleeping form before heading for the stairs.

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Deep within the recesses of her mind, Buffy lay on a beach, the sand soft, golden and warm. She dug her toes into it and lifted them, watching the grains fall between her toes back to the sand below. She leant back against the firm chest behind her, his arms wrapped securely around her waist. She surveyed the glistening water a little further down the beach. She didn’t feel vulnerable or scared, she felt safe, like she was encased in warmth and love.

Buffy tilted her head back and looked up into the upside down face of Spike, his cerulean orbs shining with love. She twisted her head slightly so that her nose brushed against his. Her lips moved forwards and she captured his in a soft, passionate kiss, his tongue melting with hers. The sun shone down, casting a warm glow over both of them.

Buffy pulled back and trailed her finger lightly across his bottom lip. She turned her head back and watched the waves lap at the shore, and spoke softly.

“Thank you Spike.”

“For what” came his reply.

She entwined her fingers with his. ”For always being there for me.”

“Well that’s a shame.” He whispered in her ear. Buffy’s brow furrowed. She hadn’t expected him to say that.

She turned around and her breath caught in her throat as she saw his visage change into that of the Matster’s. His cruel, malicious grin stared down at her as he spoke,

“Cos he won’t be there when the time comes”

He stood and pulled Buffy up, holding her upper arms in a tight grip, she felt her muscles bruising beneath his hands. Then he ghosted them up to her neck and held her in the same position as he had right before he had sunk his fangs deep into her neck. She looked down and saw that she was now dressed in the white dress from the night she died…the first time, but on it were two bloody hand prints that dripped down the creases of her dress, leaving a deep crimson trail in its wake.

The Master pulled her head back up and stood with her as she watched the display in front of her. It was as if she were watching through a portal, the edges rippling like water, the scene within a dark, moonlight grave yard. Her eyes widened when she saw Spike stumble from behind a tomb a look of pure agony on his face, his breathing laboured, clutching at his chest directly over his heart. He pulled his hands away and she saw the blood coating his hands.

Buffy gasped as she saw herself, dressed in different clothing rush into the picture as Spike fell to his knees. She caught him and sunk to the ground with him, cradling his body over her knees. It was surreal watching the doppelgangers in front of her, and she heard herself within the image speak, although it sounded as if she were in an empty room, her voice echoing slightly.

“Spike…please hold on…please don’t leave me.”

Spike clasped at her shirt with both hands in agony and she saw two hand prints in exactly the same place as the ones on her dress. Buffy took one of his hands in his and placed the other over his heart, trying desperately to stem the flow of blood from the hole.

Buffy looked down at her own hands and they started to shake as she saw blood coating the same hand her doppelganger had used to try and stop the blood from Spike’s wound.

“Hold on Spike please.” The other Buffy sobbed desperately. Buffy felt tears stream down her own cheeks and she tried desperately to lunged forwards to the portal like display before her, but the Master’s grip tightened as he hissed in her ear…

“Listen… shh.”

Buffy stopped and heard Spike speak in a choked whisper.

“You always…hurt…the one… you love…pet”

The other Buffy looked down and saw a blood covered stake in her hand and whimpered softly “No” as more tears enveloped her.

“You see” The Master whispered. “You’ll be the death of him.”

As Spike cried out in pain and exploded into dust before her, the Buffy in the portal screamed “NO!”, collapsing in the dusty remains of her lover. The Buffy watching the display before her shot up in bead and screamed Spike’s name as she awakened from her dream turned nightmare, a cold sweat enveloping her.

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Spike had put Buffy to bed about ten minutes ago and had taken the bowl of unfinished microwave popcorn they had made back into the kitchen. He was folding up the blanket he had laid over Buffy when she had joined him on the couch, when Buffy’s scream pierced the silence of the house.

He was upstairs and through her door in a matter of seconds, aided by his vampire speed. He saw Buffy sitting bolt up right, shaking, tears streaming down her face, staring into the space in front of her.

He rushed to her side and pushed a strand of sweat soaked hair out of her face.

“Buffy…Buffy.” He whispered softly.

Buffy snapped out of her fixation and turned to him and pulled him into a crushing hug. Spike tightened his grip around her middle as Buffy sobbed into his neck. He ran a soothing hand through her hair shushed her, kissing the top of her head softly.

“Oh god Spike… I …she… I….” Buffy’s body was racked by sobs.

“Shh, love, its ok, what happened?” He soothed her.

“She…I killed you. But it wasn’t me… it was…” Her breath coming in short gasps.

“Buffy, shh, its ok…it was a dream…just a dream. I’m still here.”

Spike held her close as he rocked her, his mind reeling. ‘She was this upset because he had died in a dream?’

Buffy pulled back and crushed her lips to his in a passionate kiss, her heart taking over. She needed reassurance that he was really here. His lips were soft and she traced her tongue over them.

Spike had initially been startled by her kiss, but the feel of her lips on his and her tongue running over his lips caused him to groan and he opened his mouths their tongues met and caressed each other.

The kiss would have lasted longer if Buffy hadn’t been out of breath from crying. She pulled back slightly and rested her forehead against his.

“Stay with me Spike…will you hold me.”

“Of course.” Spike whispered.

Spike lay them down and pulled Buffy into his embrace, covering them with the duvet. He whispered soothing words to her as her breathing gradually returned to normal.

They both drifted to sleep in each others arms, but neither of them was aware of the hand shaped bruises on her upper arms beneath the sleeves of her pyjama top, and neither would find out for her slayer healing would have removed them by morning…

I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
I know you hear me
I can taste it in your tears

Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light
It ends here tonight


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Hope you liked the update. Please review and I’ll post as soon as I can. It may be a little while because my family are moving on Monday and I’m joining them a week later after my last exam. Also, I’m going to be starting a new college so things will be really hectic for a while, but I will post once I get my head on straight.

The song extract is from Evanescence’s “My Last Breath”, as is the title of this fic.





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