Wow, I didn’t mean to piss anyone off by adding riley lol! Truth is I hate him and added him to ‘spice things up’. He’ll be gone and heres a preview…. It wont end well lol. I didn’t like Riley on the show and wanted to add what I thought Buffy really thought of him. It’ll all work out in the end, I promise. Thanx for the reviews guys…


Riley dropped Buffy off and kissed her gently on the lips. She didn’t feel anything except maybe a little nautious.

She thanked him and told him she’d see him on Monday at school.

“Buffy?”

She sighed. “Ya Riley?”

“Are we really going out?”

“Sure.” She got out of the car and waved. That stupid farmboy had no idea that she wasn’t really interested. She felt bad using him to try and forget Spike but she also assumed he would be too stupid to notice or care if he found out.


She stepped into the dark house and tip-toed downstairs. Spike was sleeping. She sat softly on the edge of his bed and watched his even breathing. How could she have done that to him? She felt like a bitch, fuck, she was a bitch when it came right down to it. She ran her hand feather light over his curls. His hair was so soft. With a sigh she walked upstairs to go to bed. She didn’t see Spike open his eyes and she didn’t see the tears in them. “Night Buffy”he whispered to the empty room.






Monday morning, the first day of school………….


Buffy was walking with her face down, looking to see what class she had for homeroom. She smashed right into a rock solid body and fell, her books went flying everywhere.

She looked up and saw the man who hadn’t spoken one word to her since Friday.

“Maybe you should watch where you’re going.”he said in a harsh tone, fighting the urge to help her up. But he couldn’t, he had an image to start. He decided to be the big bad again, no matter how hard it would be.

“Sorry.”

Spike hadn’t expected that and he knew that she wasn’t talking about running into him. He just walked away. Buffy watched him with a heavy heart.

She walked into her class just as the bell rang, barely making it. How could she live with someone who she wanted so much and couldn’t have? It was going to be a long year.



“Hey Wills, can you believe they gave out homework on the first day?”a weary Buffy asked her friend at the end of the day whose locker was right next to hers.

“I know, isn’t it great?”the excited redhead gushed. Buffy laughed.

“Too nerdy?”

“Just nerdy enough to make you Willow, who I love.”

Willow smiled up at her friend. Buffy had told her about her ‘being with Riley’ and she didn’t like it but she would support her friend no matter what. Her and Xander both agreed it was for the best that they not interfere, that this would play out better on it’s own. She smiled to herself.

“Thinking about Xan?”Buffy asked chuckling.

Willow blushed. “How’d you’d know?”

“That goofy smile was the first hint. Then the not answering me when I asked you a question was the second.”

“Oh sorry, what was the question?”

“Do you want a lift home?”

Willow paled at the thought. “Um no thanks I’m gonna go to Xan’s with him.”

“Oh, phone me later?”

“You bet.”




Buffy slumped on her couch. She had managed not to bump into Spike for the rest of the day. She knew he would be home any minute and decided to start trying to make things better between them.


Spike walked in the door and went right to his room, not even sparing Buffy a glance. He stopped by his bureau when he saw a steaming cup of hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows in it, just like Joyce had made for him. He smiled in spite of himself, she was trying, he’d give her that. He just felt so betrayed by what she’d done. It wasn’t going to be that easy.


He spent the next 2 hours working on his homework. He got hungry and went into the kitchen to have a bite to eat. Riley was there with Buffy sitting at the table. The two males glared at each other with dislike.

“Well well. If it isn’t captain cardboard. How’s the city life treating you, miss the farm? Miss the sheep?”

Buffy knew that Spike was insinuating that Riley fucked them but the dumb ass had no idea.

“Actually we didn’t have sheep.”

Spike snorted, he really was from a farm and he REALLY was stupid. He went to the fridge and grabbed some fruit before heading back downstairs.

Buffy sat there looking at Riley in shock. What a fucken moron. ‘How the fuck can I stay with him?’she asked herself and answered ‘I cant.’

“Riley I have a headache so im gonna turn in early, okay?”she said hoping he believed her.

Of course he did. “Allright Buffy, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yep”she fake smiled as he pecked her on the lips.

She let out a sigh as he left and went downstairs. “We need to talk..”

Spike looked up. “Where’s Mr. Amazing?”he asked sarcastically.

“I sent him home and he has nothing to do with this.”

Spike went silent, he may as well hear her out.

“I’m beyond sorry for what I did to you. It was sick and it was wrong. But I cant turn back time no matter how much I wish I could.”she ran her hand through her hair in frustration. “Honestly Spike I jut didn’t know what to do. I’m 16 going on 17 in a couple of weeks. I can still be young and stupid sometimes. But I lost my mom, I lost my virginity to a sick fuck and now I’ve lost one of my best friends. I just don’t know what to do anymore.”she said and broke into sobs.

Bloody hell. He couldn’t stand to see a bird cry under normal circumstances, let alone someone he cared about. Especially not her. He was by her side in a second and he was holding her tight.

“I just want us to be okay and I want my mommy back.”she wailed.

Spike rubbed her back gently. His heart broke for her. Sod it, he thought, the big bad can go fuck himself and loves bitch can come back, at least for tonight.

He layed down on his bed and pulled her with him, drawing the blankets over them.

“I’m sorry pet, just let it out”he soothed.

Buffy eventually stopped crying and snuggled in closer to him, he could see the hope shining in her eyes. They fell asleep like that, holding each other close and relishing the warmth they gave each other, both knowing it would be different in the harsh light of day again. She had Riley and he was pissed at her. But for tonight, she was just Buffy and he was just Spike and they needed each other. For tonight.


Please review, also for those of you who hate Riley as much as I do, hell be gone within the next chapter or the one after that….i swear!!! Let me know….








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