Chapter 9-

Late in the night, Spike awoke. He needed to know that Buffy was really there with him and that it wasn’t all a dream, like it had been so many other restless nights. His heart sank when he noticed the space next to him empty. He couldn’t believe it. What a cruel joke this was beginning to turn out to be! WHY! Spike silently screamed in his mind.

“Bloody hell…Shoulda known this was a god damn dream.” Spike turned over to lie on his back, looking up at the ceiling. He was pissed off at God for playing his damn tricks again and was in no mood for it tonight.

Only Buffy had really been there in the flesh even, but she had been in the bathroom when Spike had woken up. When she returned, she heard Spike mumbling something about God.

“Spike?” Buffy said, crawling into bed, sitting next to him. When he didn’t answer, she called him by his given name. Spike cringed at hearing it. The last time Buffy had used it, she was breaking it off with him. This time, he knew it had to be his imagination and refused to turn over or believe Buffy was real. Not even her touch or the sound of her heart beat convinced him. “Are you all right?” She wondered as she ran a hand through his silky hair—something she had missed doing. “Turn over…” Buffy said a moment later. “What’s the matter?” She asked worriedly.

“Nothing!” Spike evaded.

,i>What the hell is his deal? “I’m here, Spike. I’m not going away.” Spike hadn’t turned over and she asked a little more forcibly, “Turn over; Spike or I’ll do it for you!”

“You’re not here!”

“I’m not here? Spike, what are you talking about? I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” The slayer never dreamed that leaving for only a moment would set him off like this. This is definitely my fault. If only I were honest with him to begin with. If only I hadn’t beaten the living shit out of him everytime he tried getting close with me…If only…GOD HELP ME TO HELP HIM! She looked up, tears streaming down her face, as she sought guidance from the one person she knew would know what to do—she was truly sorry for her actions in the past.

The vampire slowly turned over to see his golden goddess there before him, tears streaming down her face.

“Bloody hell, woman, don’t do that to me…” Spike sighed and Buffy half giggled while she brought his hand up to her to her chest.

“Is this not real?” Buffy asked seriously.

Spike could feel (and hear) the beat of her heart. The feel of her breast between his fingers made him believe she was truly there with him. What a bloody pansy I am.

“Not gonna leave you, I promise. I am here to stay, mister!” Buffy smiled an added benefit that Spike missed.

“S’that a promise?”

“Promise!” Buffy leaned in, kissing him soundly, then she slid beneath the covers, snuggling up as close to him as possible, while she laid her head atop of his chest.

Spike felt like a moron not to believe she was really there before him. He silently sent his apology to the man upstairs as he kissed the top of Buffy’s head, reeling in her touch and her scent. It suddenly felt more like old times. It wasn’t until this moment, that Spike felt truly at home.

****

The next morning, Cordy rolled over and sleepily searched for her husband, her arm came up empty. “Angel?” Cordy said, searching around the room.

“In here babe…” Angel walked in from the connecting room after a night of fitful sleeping.

He had been thinking about Spike and Buffy’s reunion, and all the variations he was coming up with did not have a happy ending. The one most prevalent in his mind was Spike being permanently dusted, but what if Spike had been dusted? Would Angel and Buffy be together instead of him and Cordy?? He had wondered that just as Cordy had called out for him.

“Come back to bed!” Cordy said, drowsily. “I miss you!”

The vampire made his way back into the bedroom and sat next to his wife, kissing her on the head. “There’s something that I want to do…” Angel said, trailing off.

“What?” Cordy asked curiously.

Angel’s mind had drifted back to his previous thought: What would it have been like if he were married to Buffy now instead of Cordy? This thought brought him back to the last moments he had with Buffy in Sunnydale— the kiss and the famous cookie dough speech. Angel rolled his eyes at that thought.

‘Buffy looked up at Angel, and replied, “Because—Ok, I’m cookie dough. I’m not done baking. I’m not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I’m gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day I turn around and realize I’m ready. I’m cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat—“Buffy eyes went wide with realization of what she’d said, “or enjoy warm, delicious cookie me, then…that’s fine. That’ll be then. When I’m done!”

“Any thoughts on who might enjoy—“Angel sighed, irritably. “Do you I have to go with the cookie analogy?”

“I’m not really thinking that far ahead. That’s kinda the point.”;


It still boggles my mind the things that girl comes up with sometimes. Angel smiled at that thought. What would it have been like if I stayed in Sunnydale instead of coming to LA? He paused in thought, pondering that same question. Are you really done, Buffy? Will we ever have a chance together?

As Angel sighed, Cordy glanced up at him inquisitively. “What’s that matter?” She asked, after a moment. “Is everything ok? You’re kinda quiet.”

When her husband didn’t respond right away, Cordy suddenly suspected that Angel was thinking about the past, more specifically, his past with Buffy. Cordy, incensed and jealous, “I can’t believe you, Angel!” Her eyes filled with anger and disbelief, as she looked up at him.

Angel had not responded. He was too deep in thought.

“After all these years, Angel…” Cordy balled her hands up into fists, hitting him in the chest. “I’m your wife, not Buffy. You should be thinking about me and our daughter, not about someone from the past!”

“Cordy what are you talking about?” Angel asked, missing the whole point of his wife’s tirade as he grabbed a hold of her wrists.

“Does my love mean nothing to you?” She cried, her rage quickly fading into sadness. The tears glistened in her eyes, and she turned away from him.

“Of course, it does, but Cordy, what are you talking about?” Angel reached out to touch his wife, but she wrenched herself away from him. “What’s the matter?” He instantly felt guilty. He didn’t even realize that his reminiscing of the past was the problem at hand.

Perfect! He doesn’t even know what the hell he did! Cordy sniffled. “Just go to your precious Buffy!” She snapped.

Wait a minute, when did it get way out of hand?

“Cordy wait...” Angel trailed off, but she would have none of it!

“OUT NOW!” Cordy ordered, as she pointed towards the door.

“Cordy!”

”No! GET OUT NOW!” She slid down into bed, pulling the covers over her as she let the tears flow freely now. Where did things gone wrong? I thought he loved me!

With that, Angel reluctantly stood, and meandered away with his head hung low. The couple had disagreements before, but they’ve always managed to work them through. This time though, Angel wasn’t so sure they’d be able to work it out. He’d hurt her pretty badly. Some how, he had to make it up to her, to prove that he really loved her, and Buffy was in the past. It wasn’t his fault that he wondered about such things. Perhaps even Cordy wondered what her life would have been like if Doyle had survived, or if she’d remained with Xander in high school. Would they be married? Angel thought of all that, but he would never change that for the world. His world: Cordy and Katherine.

As Angel opened the door to leave the suite, Katherine walked out of her room.

“Daddy?” She asked with questions in her eyes. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s ok sweetie. Go back to bed. You’re mom and I just had a disagreement. Nothing for you to worry about, ok Katherine.” Angel cupped his daughter’s face in his hands, before giving her a quick kiss on the nose. “I’ll be in my office, if your mother wants to know.” With that, Angel left and Katherine went into her parent’s bedroom. She stopped short, when she heard her mother crying.

“Mom?” Katherine quickly crossed to the bed, sliding in next to her mother, nervously. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing, sweetie.” Cordy wiped away the tears and sat up. “I’m ok.” She quickly changed the subject, hoping to quell her daughter’s fears, “I think the mall is opening up early for those sales.” It would be more therapy for her anyway, especially the way she was feeling now.

That was Katherine’s cue to butt out and she knew it. “Sure” Shopping was always a highlight of her day. “Where do you want to go Macy’s? Neiman Marcus?”

“Anywhere you want to go, my darling.” Cordy slid out of bed, heading into the bathroom. “Just give me an hour to get ready and we can go!” Cordy smiled at her daughter before closing the door.

A moment later, the teen hopped off the bed and excitedly headed into her room to get ready as well. Down in his office, Angel called a buddy of his that owned a flower shop, and ordered a dozen or more white, yellow and red roses, hoping Cordy would forgive him.

*****
The phone by the nightstand had begun to ring incessantly, rousing Spike out of a deep sleep. He reached over a sleeping Buffy to answer it, careful not to wake her.

“This better be good!” Spike whispered, running a hand through mussed up hair.

Buffy began to wake. “Who is it?” She asked groggily

Placing his hand over the receiver, Spike responded, “Nothing, love, go back to sleep.” He kissed her on the head.

“Hey, Spike.” The person on the other end of the phone greeted.

“Angel, it’s too early for you to be calling. What d’ya want?”

“Cordy and I had a fight early this morning, so no need to come over for breakfast.” Angel paused a moment, “I have no clue when she and Katherine will be home.”

Spike rolled his eyes. Not surprised at all. He had a feeling Buffy being back might cause problems between Angel and Cordy, though he didn’t give it much thought.

“What’d you do?” Spike instantly inquired.

“What makes you think that I had anything to do with it?” Angel replied quickly, angry at Spike, who had the nerve to ask him what happened. It was none of his business anyway.

“How long have we known each other?” Spike asked plainly.

Angel sighed, heavily. “All right, if you must know, it was my fault. I wanted to know what happened with your reunion with Buffy and Cordy took it the wrong way. She didn’t really give me a chance to explain myself. Now she believes that I want to be with Buffy.”

“Do you?”

There was a pause.

“Angel!” Spike yelled, looking down at Buffy, afraid that he might wake her up again.

“Maybe…a little…I don’t know---“Angel admitted, guiltily.

“Bloody hell, that’s just great, Angel.” Spike sat up in bed, careful not to jar Buffy.

“It’s not like that,” Angel tried to explain him self.

“How’s that so?” Spike carefully rose up out of bed and headed into the hallway to continue the conversation.

“I’ve thought about it from time to time. Who wouldn’t? Buffy is a beautiful woman, but I’m married, Spike. I love my wife and my daughter and as much as I screwed things up now, I don’t want to lose what I’ve got! Besides which, Buffy is in love with you. She’s always been in love with you. It just took me awhile to realize it.”

Spike looked in on Buffy and smiled. “That she does, mate.” Then clicked the phone off, and headed down to the kitchen to start on breakfast.

*****
As Buffy turned over her arm reaching out for Spike she realized he wasn’t next to her there was however, an inviting smell coming up from the kitchen. Oooh, someone’s cooking breakfast, she thought as she sleepily sat up, stretching as she did so. Before heading downstairs, Buffy looked over at the clock on the nightstand; it read 9:30 am. Yawning, she then headed down to the kitchen, realizing that the house was quiet, and wondering where everyone was at.

The petite blonde stood in the doorway, captivated by the sight of Spike cooking in his PJ’s. From head to toe, Buffy watched him closely---his chiseled cheeks, the ripple of his abs, those muscular arms of his---the whole package had her going, and if she didn’t step back soon, she’d jump him right here in the kitchen.

Memories of the night before, invaded her thoughts and Buffy’s cheeks turned pink. Knowing what would be next, she stepped back into the Hall, or Spike would definitely have know for sure she’d been standing there, ogling him. Though Buffy wasn’t sure how much of change there was in Spike, she knew there was a lot that had and she missed out on it. Damn you, Spike, for not telling me.

“Ok, Buffy, get it together. You’ve seen Spike cook before. Although, not in his PJ’s.” She smiled, taking another peek at Spike, who had pulled some muffins out of the oven, and stepped back once again, taking a deep breath, she giggled at herself, knowing that would be a hard task to accomplish.

Taking a few deep breaths and pushing those thoughts away, Buffy entered the kitchen. The smells of pancakes, omelets, bacon, and toast--all of her favorites—assaulted her nose. She smiled as she crossed over to Spike, placing a kiss on his shoulder, then stole a piece of bacon, that had been cooling on a plate.

“Hey!” Spike playfully slapped at her hand with the spatula.

“What?” Buffy took a bite out of the bacon. Spike had no choice but to relent, especially considering the way she was looking at him, like she wanted to take him right then and there. He turned his attentions back to the omelet. It was safer that way. “So, where’s everyone at?” Buffy sat up on a nearby counter. “Oh is that chocolate chip muffins?” She asked with a smile, as she jumped off the counter, and snatched one of the muffins out the pan, and popped a piece of it into her mouth. “Mmmm-yummy!”

Spike glanced at Buffy and grinned at her, glad she approved of the muffins. He then replied, as he flipped over the pancakes, “On the weekends, we always head over to The Hyperion to have breakfast with Angel and Cordy, but I guess they had a little tiff and Cordy and Katherine went shopping instead.”

“Does that happen very often?” Buffy inquired, popping another piece of the muffin her mouth.

The slayer had fallen out of the loop, being gone from everyone, for so long.

“Surprisingly, no.” Spike finished up with the cooking and placed everything on a serving dish. “Angel and Cordy never really fight like that. Of course, there’s…this was a bad one.”

“How bad?” Buffy asked, finishing up her muffin.

“Let’s not worry about that now.” Spike evaded as he looked up at her, giving her his brightest smile of reassurance. “Plates are up in that cabinet.” He pointed to cabinet behind Buffy. “Silverware is right in there.” With his suggestive eyebrow, Spike gestured with his head to the drawer right under Buffy’s legs.

Buffy followed Spike’s gaze, her face suddenly turning two shades of pink.

“The drawer, Buffy.” Spike grinned, as he reached slowly to open it, never taking his eyes off of her.

“Oh!” Buffy said embarrassedly as she grabbed for the knives and forks, then jumped off the counter.

For a moment, they stared into each other’s eyes--no one else in the world matter, but the two of them. Buffy began to reach for Spike, but he stepped away, nervously, and internally kicked himself for pulling away. “Don’t want to let this get cold, do we.”

“Oh yeah!” Buffy’s heart sank as she watched Spike place the food on the table. She followed him a moment later. They ate in an awkward silence.

*****
There was a Star Trek Convention in town and by 11:30. The Hyperion was booked solid and after that, Angel was so busy, he hadn’t had time to think about his fight with Cordy. Although come five o’clock, it invaded his mind and it played over and over: what could he have done differently?

One of the day managers, Marcus, entered in the office. Angel was facing away form the young man.

“Excuse me,” Marcus said, after knocking. He walked right in when Angel hadn’t responded.

“Yes, Marcus?” Angel turned to face his employee.

“There’s a delivery here for you. You might want to come out here and check on it.”

“Really?” Angel said surprised as he pushed away from him desk and stood. He made his way around the desk and out into the main room. He stood there, momentarily, looking at the delivery—a sea of roses—all different colors, shapes, and sizes.

“Hey Angel!” A portly man, who looked more like demon, walked over to Angel, hand outstretched.

“Morley.” Angel shook the man’s hand in return. “Oh wow, this is…”

“Oh I know.” Morley turned to look at his extraordinary work. “Impressive ain’t it?”

“Oh yes, it is, but Morley, this is too much. I didn’t ask for all of this.” Angel couldn’t take his eyes off of it.

“I guess, I guess I went overboard with it.” The old man sounded defeated, staring down at his feet.

“No not at all.” Angel pulled out two hundred dollar bills. “Will this do?”

“Oh yeah!” Cha ching! With the wave of his hand, the flowers disappeared and reappeared a moment later in Angel’s suite.

“Thanks!”

With that, the portly Morley disappeared in a flash. Cordy and Katherine return a moment later, bags in hand. Cordy ignored Angel and headed right up to their suite. Katherine stayed behind.

“I take it, she’s still mad?”

Katherine nodded. “Go up there, daddy! Tell her that you still love her…Do you?”

“Yes honey, more than ever!” Angel hugged his daughter, and made his way up to the suite, momentarily forgetting the roses.

Cordy stood in a sea of roses, in awe. She’d never seen so many beautiful flowers. Angel stood in the door way, waiting to speak. “I’m sorry.” She turned around, tears in her eyes. He walked closer to her. “I never meant to upset you.”

There was silence.

Angel continued. “I will never ever doubt anything again. I love you, Cordy, and I always will.” He held out his hand, hoping she’d take it.

Cordy smiled and took his hand in return. “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have reacted that way, but it’s just—“Angel silenced her with a kiss.

*****
Spike and Buffy had decided to go out for the evening, while Fred and Lorne stayed to baby sit Annabella.

Fred smiled at Annabella as the small girl organized yet another game. This time Fred was perched on a small chair, and the teacup she was holding clattered to the floor as Fred was hit violently with a vision. It knocked her back to the floor. The little girl had never seen her like that and had no idea what to do.

“Fed,” Annabella said worriedly, rocking the woman awake. “Fed.”

When Fred didn’t respond, she screamed for Lorne who hurried into the room, trying to catch his breath.

“What is it?” He asked, before noticing Fred on the floor. “Fred!” He knelt by her side. “Are you ok?” She opened her eyes a moment later, trying to gasp for air.

“Oh god!” She said in a frightened voice.

“What is it?” Lorne helped her to her feet.

“It’s bad.” Her voice cracked as she answered again, “Baad.”

Feeling as though someone else was watching them, Fred turned towards the doorway, there stood Spike and Buffy. They’d some how sensed that something dreadful was about to happen and headed home to be with Annabella.

The slayer glanced up at Spike and saw a worried expression on his face. She was feeling the same way as well. What were they gonna do?

The little girl made her way over to her father and Spike scooped her up in his arms.

Buffy entered into the playroom, calm, though she certainly wasn’t feeling that way. “Please tell me what just happened?”

TBC





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