Author's Chapter Notes:
Chapter 4 is here! Yay! **Warning: Also more bloody stuff, be careful!** Many thanks to my beta LindaM!!
Sorrow n.

- Mental suffering or pain caused by injury, loss, or despair.





Flashback (Fool for Love timing)

Buffy walked down the hall into her mother’s room.

“Hey, I put together that grocery list for you,” Buffy said walking to the bed and crossing her arms over her chest.

Joyce turned to her daughter and smiled. “Oh great, thanks hon,” Joyce placed the clothes in her hands into the bag on her bed.

Buffy finally noticed that her mother was packing. She frowned a bit. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Have you seen my conditioner?”

Buffy’s eyes flickered towards the bathroom. “Did you look under the sink?”

Joyce held a finger up, rolled her eyes and chuckled to herself before walking to the bathroom.

Buffy slowly sat down on the bed. “Where are you going?” She sounded cautious.

Joyce came back into the room and set the conditioner next to her bag.

“Oh. I was hoping to put this off, but, um… You know the nothing that I’ve been dealing with the last couple of weeks? It might not be nothing.”

Buffy stared at her mother, apprehensive. “What is it?”

Joyce continued gently, “I’m, uh, staying overnight at the hospital for observation. I’m getting a CAT scan.”

Buffy looked down; uncertainty and fear marring her features. Joyce sat down across from her daughter and tried to reassure her.

“It’s only one night. And they say even if there is something… it’s still very early if they didn’t see it before.”

Buffy looked up, still worried. Joyce gave a soft chuckle. “I’m gonna be fine.”

With that, Buffy gave her mother a smile. It looked forced, because it was. “I know you will.”

Joyce gave Buffy a hug, before she resumed her packing and Buffy excused herself.

Buffy was slowly walking to her bedroom when a sharp pain in her stomach stopped her. She gently put her hand on the stake wound from her slip-up that morning, but that’s not what was causing the pain.

*What’s going on?*

Suddenly another wave of pain slammed through her, worse than before. She almost doubled over, but somehow managed to stay upright. Clutching her stomach she stumbled into the bathroom. She leaned on the sink, trying to catch her breath that she seemed to have lost in the last ten feet. She looked down at herself when she felt moisture between her legs.

*What???*

She stood up and moved to the toilet, nearly collapsing as another shockwave of pain coursed through her. With shaking hands, she reached for the button on her pants. Once she managed to undo the fastenings, she slowly worked her pants down her legs.

*Oh damn! This is not good.*

Her underwear and legs were covered in blood. Blood was still pouring out of her; instantly she sat down on the toilet. The pain was constant now, a solid pressure in her lower stomach. She felt the urge to bend over, but the pain only increased when she tried.

*Oh god, oh god, oh god.*

She closed her eyes tight, trying to focus on anything else so she wouldn’t scream and worry her mother. Finally after a few agonizing minutes, the pain started ebb, letting her open her eyes and work on her breathing. By the time her breathing was under control, the pain was manageable. She opened her legs to assess the damage.

Blood was everywhere. But something in the toilet caught her attention. There was a clump of… something… floating around in the blood. It was about the size of a small lemon. Buffy tried to get a closer look, when she suddenly realized what it was. Her hand flew up to cover her mouth. She couldn’t breathe.

*That can’t be. I mean, I did miss my last period… but that happens all the time.*

With a shaking hand, she cleaned herself up as best she could. She gathered her hair into a ponytail and stepped into the shower to wash the rest off. She watched as the blood flowed down the drain, soon the water was back to clear and she turned the faucet off.

She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself and mopped up the rest of the blood from the toilet area. Once the bathroom was sparkling again, she headed to her room. Still in a daze, she pulled some clothes on, all the while trying to keep her mind stable. And not think about what she saw in the toilet and what it meant.

She made her way downstairs and out to the back when her head started spinning. She sat down on the back porch and her previously unshed tears began to flow.

*First mom is going to the hospital. Then… but how? How could I not know that I was, pregnant?*

She slid her hands into her hair, slowly bowed down so her forehead rested on her knees and then she started to really cry. She didn’t look up until she heard the cocking of a gun.




Present Day

They were quiet for a long time. Buffy was wrapped tightly in Spike’s strong arms, graciously taking the strength he was giving to her. Spike was still absorbing all the details of the past couple months in Buffy’s life, when he felt her stir.

“Spike?” She spoke softly for fear of breaking the quietness of the atmosphere.

“Yeah luv?” He wrapped his arms tighter around her, reassuring her that he was there for her.

“Say something.”

He waited a beat. Trying to decide what to tell her.

“The stake wound…” He trailed off, his eyes traveling down to her stomach before looking into her eyes again.

“Yeah, I think that’s why I lost the baby.” Buffy refused to refer to the baby as “it”.

Another beat.

“I should have known.” He went with the first thing that came to mind.

“What?” She pulled back to look at him, not sure if she heard him right.

“I should have known. I smelled the blood, that night. But I was so upset, bugger, I thought it was that cut on your stomach. Over one hundred years I’ve been a vampire, you’d think I could tell the difference w--”

Buffy put a finger to his lips to silence him.

“Spike. It’s not your fault.” She pressed more firmly against his lips when he tried to protest. “It is not your fault. You were there when I needed someone, there is nothing else you could have done.”

That seemed to calm him down, somewhat. Buffy watched his eyes as they softened, a split second before something she couldn’t define flashed in his eyes.

“Did he know?”

She didn’t need to ask who he was talking about; she knew he was asking about Riley.

“No. With everything that happened, I never got the chance. Then he just left. He didn’t even look back!” Buffy didn’t cry again, but she still felt the pain over been left, again.

“Wanker!” Spike ground out harshly. He closed his eyes, trying to control the fury that raced trough him. Fury that Whitebread could leave this woman because of his own selfish needs, when she had enough to deal with. Fury that Buffy was in so much pain. And most of all, fury that he was envious of Finn because he could give Buffy something that Spike never could. Life. A child. Something he just now realized he wanted more than anything. And there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

He hadn’t even noticed the tears running down his cheeks until Buffy reached up to wipe them away.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, worriedly looking into his eyes. The raw emotion she found made her gasp. “Spike?”

Without answering her, he gathered her up in his arms, clutching her to him, his body shaking in misery. The emotions Buffy felt emanating from the man holding her shocked her into tears as well. The two of them curled into each other, holding on as if their very lives depended on it. In that exact moment, in LA Angel collapsed to the floor on his knees, an enraged roar ripping from his throat. And half way across the globe, Drusilla dropped the young girl she was feeding on to clutch her head and let loose a shriek of anguish, before passing out. The images flooding through her mind too much for her to handle.

In that exact moment, the Powers That Be stopped and watched in awe of what was taking place on earth.

Inside the crypt, the two beings huddled close, began to glow. But neither noticed. Neither knew that a prophecy was being fulfilled. Neither knew that their lives from this moment on would be completely different. Neither knew why, but both understood with a sudden clarity that they had found their soulmate.




Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Review!





You must login (register) to review.