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Chapter 11

Buffy was smoking a cigarette outside of school; it always made her feel better.

Spike headed over to her and raised his eyebrows. “Since when do you smoke?”

She threw the cigarette to the ground and stepped on it. “Since I realized that poisoning my lungs is a good way to kill myself.”

Spike frowned. “That’s not funny.”

Buffy glared at him. “It wasn’t supposed to be. What? You’re the only one that’s allowed to smoke?”

Spike shook his head. “Are you okay?” he wondered with concern.

She laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Yeah, I’m great. Let’s just get out of here, all right?” she said, walking away from him and over to his car.

Spike sighed and followed after her.

They both got into his car and drove home in silence.


* * * * *


When they finally made it home, Buffy got out of the car and slammed the door behind her. She walked to the front door of the house.

Spike caught up with her and grabbed her arm to stop her. “What’s wrong, love?”

Buffy pulled her arm out of his grasp. “Fine, you wanna know? I think this thing with us is stupid. We should just end it before things go any further.”

Spike didn’t like the sound of that. “You want to break up?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “We’re not even really dating. All we seem to do is make out and that may be enough for you, but I’m getting sick of it. I’m tired of you pretending that you care about me when I know that you don’t. You don’t think I notice you checking out other girls? I’m sure you’re just waiting for the perfect time to get rid of me, so you can go back to your precious Drusilla. I hear a lot of stories about you two. How you were so madly in love, I refuse to believe that you would dump her for me. This is probably all a joke to you. I don’t like to get close to people, especially guys. That never ends well, and I don’t even know why I decided to let you in. You’re probably just like all the others, so I’m ending it. I’m sure it’s no great loss to you,” she said, wiping angrily at her wet eyes. Buffy then entered the house, without even waiting for him to respond.

Spike didn’t believe a word she said and went in after her. He stopped her again before she went upstairs. “I know you don’t mean that, Buffy. I will never give up on you. You have to realize how much I care about you. This isn’t a joke. I’ve never felt this way before.”

Buffy shook her head, not even bothering to hide the tears anymore. “No, you don’t mean that. No one falls for me. I’m nothing now; I’m just a screw up. You should just go back to ignoring me. I’m sure things were easier for you then.”

“Nothing was easier for me then. Nothing seemed to matter, until you came into my life.”

Buffy closed her eyes and touched her head, starting to feel dizzy. She opened her eyes after a few seconds to look at Spike.

Spike stared at her with worry, their conversation now forgotten. “Are you feeling all right?”

Buffy shook her head again, which caused it to hurt. “I feel tired,” she commented softly, then fell down.

He caught her before she hit the floor. Spike felt her head and noticed that she felt fine, figuring that she just passed out. He picked her up gently and carried her up to her room, placing her down on the bed once inside. Spike gave her a kiss on the forehead, then made his way back downstairs.


* * * * *


Spike entered the kitchen just as Giles walked in the back door.

The older man stopped when he saw the worried expression on his son’s face.

Spike then explained everything that happened with Buffy.

Giles cleaned his glasses, putting them back on after a moment. “You say she fainted?”

Spike nodded. “Yeah, I think everything has just been too much for her. Do you think she’ll be okay?”

Giles noticed how much he seemed like a young boy when he asked that. He would love to tell his son that everything would be okay, but he wasn’t so sure himself. “I wish I knew. She’s been through a lot and I would imagine that being abandoned by her father was the last thing she could handle. That little girl loves her father. I know from what Joyce would tell me. She would tell me how close they were when Buffy was younger, and how she idolized him. Things fell apart after she died, which would be understandable, but I imagine things weren’t so great even before that. With everything that has happened between Buffy and her father, I know that she still loves him very deeply. She’s still very much hurting because of his departure, even though she tends to hide it. We just have to be there for her anyway we can.”

Spike agreed and thought about what his father said. “I’m trying to be there for her. She doesn’t think I really care about her.”

“Do you care about her?”

Spike looked at him like that was a stupid question. “Of course I care about her, but it’s so much more than that.”

Giles had a feeling that he knew what his son was talking about, but wanted to hear him say it. “What do you mean?”

Spike didn’t hesitate with his answer. “I think I’m in love with her,” he stated, seeming to just come to that realization.

Giles had a small smile on his face.

Spike took a deep breath. “I’m going to make her something to eat for when she wakes up,” he said, moving to the stove to heat up some soup for Buffy.

Giles watched him in wonder, hoping that everything would work out for his son and the girl he was considering to be like a daughter.





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