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Author's Chapter Notes:
I hope Buffy's past isn't too much. I did the best I could with it. Thanks for the reviews=)
Chapter 7

“So, you burned down the gym at your old school and that’s why you came here?”

Buffy nodded. “That’s most of it.”

They were both talking in his room later that day.

Buffy was just surprised that he let her back in there. “It wasn’t even my fault. This girl was smoking in the gym and I told her that she should put it out because she would get caught. That’s when she just threw the cigarette and it landed on the American flag. The whole thing caught on fire. It started to spread and everyone was panicking, until the principal came in with the fire extinguisher and put the fire out. He asked who was responsible and she said it was my fault. I didn’t realize that while everyone was panicking, she planted her pack of cigarettes on me. I tried to explain what really happened, but no one believed me. My dad came and got me and that was that. He got transferred to Sunnydale and that’s why we moved. This was also the only school that would take me.”

Spike nodded as well once she finished. “I’m sorry about all that, pet. What happened with your mum? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Buffy took a deep breath before answering him. “She was sick. I didn’t know what was wrong at first, until my dad told me it was a tumor. She had surgery, but there were still complications. I remember coming home from school and finding her dead on the couch. They said it was sudden and that she probably didn’t feel any pain. I just wish I could have gotten there a little sooner. I keep thinking that I could have saved her.”

Spike really felt for her and placed his arm around her shoulders. That’s too much for anyone to deal with. “You can’t blame yourself for what happened.”

“Yeah, but I know my dad does. He won’t say anything, but I know he partly blames me for what happened. Maybe because I was with her at the time. After that, everything just fell apart. Not that everything was really great before, but my dad was hardly around anymore. He was always at work, I would never see him. He hardly ever talked to me and when he did, he never made eye contact. He won’t even look at me anymore. I think it’s too painful, and I probably remind him of her.”

Spike gave her a kiss on the forehead; it felt so natural to him. “How long ago did this happen?”

She shrugged. “It was only about six months ago. I just fell apart after I lost my mom and my dad would hardly even notice. He just figured I had problems like any teenager, but he didn’t care to talk to me about them.” Buffy took another deep breath and couldn’t believe she was about to tell him the rest of her story, but she needed to get it out. “I started to feel numb, so I would cut myself sometimes just to feel something. It was never enough, though. The pain was always there, it didn’t seem like it would ever go away. One night, I came home to find another woman in our house. I was so angry that my father could be with someone else already and we got into a fight. He said I was just a child and that I didn’t understand anything. That maybe things would have been better if I was never born,” she explained, tears falling down her face. “I know he was drunk and he probably doesn’t even remember any of that, but I just couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted it all to end. So, I found a bottle of sleeping pills in the bathroom and I took them. I went into my room and passed out, everything after that was a blur. I remember waking up in the hospital and them telling me that my dad found me and brought me in. When I was released, he was so angry with me. I’ve never seen him so angry. It was then that he decided I needed some help, so he took me to a clinic. It was more like a mental institution. I hated it the moment I set foot in there. Him sending me there was like saying that I was crazy and I didn’t believe I was. I spent weeks in that place and they let me go after they saw that I was making progress. I did get a little better after that, but when I got back to school, I lost all of my friends. I was actually in the popular group, if you can believe it. I was a cheerleader and dated the captain of the football team, but I didn’t have any of that anymore. They all knew about what happened to me and everyone started treating me like a freak. I tried to ignore it and get back to the way things used to be. Of course, things would never be that way again. Then the whole fire in the gym thing happened. You pretty much know the rest after that.” Buffy looked up at him when she finished and couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

He finally spoke after what seemed like forever. “Wow, that’s some story. I’m sorry, I had no idea everything was so bad.”

Buffy wiped her eyes. “Well, the one good thing about moving here is that I get to start over. It seems I’m still screwing up, though. I guess some things will never change.”

Spike grasped her hand in his and gave it a squeeze. “Things will get better, Buffy. Just know that you’re not alone anymore. I’ll be here whenever you need me.”

She graced him with a small smile and really believed that he would be.

Spike then glanced over at his desk and grabbed the same picture that Buffy was looking at before. He sighed and ran his fingers over it.

Buffy wondered if he would open up to her now. She got her answer when he looked back up at her.

“I lost my mum when I was fourteen. There was a car accident. My dad was driving and she was in the passenger seat. I was at a friend’s house at the time. I don’t really know what happened, only that a truck ran a red light and hit my dad’s car on my mum’s side. She died instantly and he was left unconscious. I know he blames himself for the accident. I know he wonders why he was the one that survived and not her. I’m just so grateful that I didn’t lose both of them.”

Buffy squeezed his hand this time, giving him some of the comfort that he gave to her.

Spike traced his finger over his mother’s face, then over the face of the young boy that he used to be. “William died then and I became Spike. I just wanted to change everything. My father hated my new self. Sometimes I even hate it. I’ve become a person that I don’t even like much. You’ve witnessed how I can be. I was so different as William. I was a geek to put it simply. I wrote poetry and couldn’t talk to a girl to save my life.” He laughed a little at the memory, then frowned and placed the picture back on his desk. “I guess not everything changed. I still write poetry sometimes, but you didn’t hear that from me.”

Buffy shook her head. “Right, didn’t hear a thing,” she replied with a smile.

He smiled in return, promising himself that he would do whatever he could to get her to smile more.





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