In the hallway Buffy took a deep breath hoping to steady the sudden nerves she felt facing people she had known for the last ten years. It was kind of ridiculous in a way. She had only been the same Buffy she always was putting up the emotional barriers that tried to keep her wounded heart from scarring anymore. Why her friends had expected that she be any different confused her. They had known the loss she was feeling from first hand experience and all had dealt with the pain in different ways. It didn't mean any of them had been wrong or right. It was just dealing with the pain. She thought about all the people they had lost as they stuck together. Her mom, Jenny Calendar, Tara, and Anya. She had known how much they had grieved for her when she had died. They had all known so much heartache.
Squaring her shoulders she walked into the living room. She stepped forward taking in the expectant faces of her closest friends the people she considered her family. She looked over at Faith who was leaning against the wall close to the hallway.
"Did you get Dawn on the line?"
Faith pointed to the coffee table where the phone sat red light blinking that there was someone on the other end.
Buffy smiled she thought it best to start with her sister.
"Dawnie!" She said loudly.
"Buffy!" came the answer. She looked at each of them in turn Willow and Xander sitting on the couch. She thought both of them looked older now. Giles sat in a recliner next to the couch his calm eyes studying her carefully. She gave each of them a warm smile in return.
"Hey everyone." They kind of just stared at her. Knowing they weren't going to say anything without her making the first move she opened her arms wide. "What no hug?"
The tension in the room dissolved immediately. The three were scampering to their feet running over to her. Soon she was surrounded with the warmth and affection she had always cherished from this special group. She chuckled.
"Kay need a little air here." Everyone kind of backed up a little breaking their embrace. "Sit we've got a lot to talk about and not a lot of time."
"Not to be rude or anything but...” Xander looked at her carefully. "What’s with the happy Buffy?"
"Xander. I'm happy to see you and Willow and Giles. I'm even happy to see Faith."
"Kay now I know something isn't right. You're happy to see Faith?"
"B are you gonna get on with this or what?" Faith tapped her foot impatiently.
"Yeah yeah. You guys are going to have to bear with me. The first part of this really I need to get through without interruption"
"Whatever you need Buffy. You know we're here for you." The red head gazed at her with concern.
"I know Willow really. And that is part of this. I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am for the way I've treated you guys since..." she thought for a second, "well since Sunnydale fell into that giant crater. I know we've all been going through a lot since then and I know that I was being closed off to you. I didn't do it to hurt any of you I swear. Just you know me. It's either General Buffy or avoidy girl with the feelings."
"Buffy you don't have anything to apologize for. It was a really tough period of adjustment for you."
"Giles that's just it I didn't adjust. I was just going through the motions like I did when I first came back. I was just better at it this time. Gives me no excuse for pushing any of you away when you just wanted to be there for me." She gave a sad smile to Xander. "And it doesn't give me an excuse for not being there for you when you needed me. I'm sorry Xander."
He looked at her shocked. "Me?"
"Yeah you. I should have been more concerned with what you were going through. I know exactly how it felt and I never could express how sorry I was that you had lost Anya." She sighed. "We should have stuck together and we didn't and I'm sorry."
She looked at the phone on the table. "I'm sorry to you too Dawnie."
"Buffy wha...?"
"No Dawn I should have been able to comfort you. You'd lost just as much as I had and all I did was pull you halfway around the world. You needed stability and I wasn't able to give it to you. And I know how much losing Spike meant to you." she heard sniffles on the other end of the phone. "I'm sorry Dawn can you forgive me."
"There's nothing to forgive I love you Buffy."
"You've grown up way to fast you know that right? I love you too Dawn."
"Giles, Willow I think I hurt you two most of all. I let you guys down time after time and only thought how I was feeling or denying what I was feeling anyway. I know that now. I just wanted to let you know how much you guys have meant to me." She turned to face Giles. "You know that my Father and I were never close and after my parents were divorced how alone I felt. You've been there for me Giles the closest thing to a father any girl can ask for. I know we don't always see things the same way but I guess that's the point right?"
He stared as if she had suddenly grown two heads. She quickly turned to Willow.
"Wills I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry if you ever felt shut out. I don't mean to do it you know?" She looked into the Wicca’s kind face. "I just want you to know there isn't anything that I feel I can't tell you. It just takes some time for me to work up the nerve to get it out in the open."
"Did I leave anyone out?" Faith cleared her throat. "Oh please we already worked out the fact that we're way to similar." She rolled her eyes. "Just wanted to let you know that I am happy for you. I'm glad you found someone that makes you happy. Slayer's need that."
"Not that I don't appreciate the sentiments here but what exactly has brought on this insightful monologue?"
She smiled back at Giles. "I spent the last couple of months working some stuff out on my own. I just don't want to be regret girl anymore. I want to be the girl who can look back and say yeah that didn't work out but at least I tried. I want to embrace life. Not run from it."
"Buffy that's well that’s great!" Willow exclaimed.
"Good cause now there is a little something I need to tell all of you." She nodded at Faith who walked down the hall. "You know that I brought a guest here with me?" They all nodded. "I kind of ran into an old friend." She heard the gasps as Spike stepped into the room behind her.
The room broke out in pandemonium. Everyone was talking at once asking questions throwing expletives in the air. She could here Dawn shouting what and who into the phone trying to figure out what was going on. She grabbed Spikes hand and gave it a tight squeeze.
"Guys come on settle down we'll explain everything we swear." The four voices quieted and three sets of anxious eyes fell on them.
"Spike how is this possible?" Giles voice of reason spoke first.
"SHIT! Spike?" came through the phone.
" 'Bit language." he said a chuckle behind his words.
"When? How? I mean you told me that..." came from Xander.
"Yes I told you exactly what happened he died." She squeezed his hand again "Go ahead Spike."
He took the time to explain what had happened when they came back in L.A. and how he had contacted Andrew to find Buffy.
The others were quiet trying to take in what he was telling them.
"So let me understand this. You and Dead boy Sr. are just brought back and told to live your merry little lives?" Sarcasm dripped from Xanders words.
"It is highly unbelievable that said Powers would bring you both back without wanting something in return." Giles finished.
"They do want something but its not what they had explained to him we need to figure that out." Buffy cleared her throat. "I really need your help with this." She gestured nervously with her hands. "Something else happened this morning that we need some research on too."
She explained about the demon trio breaking into the hotel room trying to remember all the details about the new creatures. She finished by telling them about the other demon of the trio just vanishing when she had killed the leader.
"I've never seen anything like them. The leader when I was battling him was just like hitting any other demon but the one Spike fought didn't seem fazed by anything."
"Was like fightin' a bloody wall." Spike grumbled.
"Okay so we get on the research then. Find out why the baddies know your here."
"That's the plan Wills. But I have one more thing to talk to you guys about." Faith sighed and looked at her watch. "I won't take long."
"What's going on Buffster?"
"Remember how I said that regret girl was a thing of the past?" She smiled as she heard Giles groan and looked at Willows happy expression. She even heard a cheer over the phone from her sister. As always Xander was the only one that didn't get it. He gave her a blank look waiting for an explanation. Spike's hand came up and rested on her shoulder. She felt comforted by his cool touch. "Xander think for a second." She watched as he tried to concentrate. Shaking her head she gave in.
"I realized in the last two months that I love Spike took me losing him to get my attention. So since I love him and he still loves me....” she waited for him to connect the dots.
"Are you sure about this Buffy?" Giles prodded gently.
"I know what your thinking Giles and yes I'm sure. No regrets remember? I want to give us a chance to work this out."
Xander sputtered trying to make an intelligible sound. After several seconds he seemed to give up and than started again.
"Buffy I can't believe you would....?"
"I would want him in my life after all we've been through together?" She finished for the young man. "The past is gone Xander and I need to move forward. I think trying to move forward with some one who loves me completely and that I trust more than anything is a step in the right direction." She smiled gently at him.
"No one is more surprised than me whelp." He spoke clearly. "Not going to do anythin' to hurt her."
"I didn't think you would fang face. Whatever makes you happy Buff." Spike blinked at him in surprise. He smiled back at him. "What people grow you know. Life changes you."
"Quite. Is this everything Buffy anything else we need to know?"
"No that was everything I think. Maybe Willow, Faith and I need to start getting ready?"
" 'Bout time B. Come on lets go upstairs." Willow rose to the couch and crossed the room to Buffy. She gave her a hug.
"I'm glad you’re happy." Buffy squeezed her back.
"Thank you."
Than to his amazement the little redhead grabbed Spike in a tight embrace. It took a minute for him to get over the shock and hug her back.
"Welcome back Spike."
"Thanks Red." Buffy could hear the emotion in his voice.
Buffy stepped closer to him. "You should probably rest again. Not much is gonna happen for awhile." He nodded at her. She reached up and kissed his cheek.
"Hey Dawn!"
"Yeah?"
"I'll call you a little later okay?"
"You better and I want to talk to Spike too. I still have a piece of my mind to give him."
Buffy chuckled. "Later."
"Bye Buffy." She reached over and hung up the phone. She met the other women at the base of the stairs and the three of them went up.
[Reviews - 70]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | 
Chapter or Story
Has been viewed 1828 times
- Text Size +
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | Chapter or Story - Text Size +
Author's Chapter Notes:
Hi again. I figure that I'll post at least one chappie a day until I catch up. SO here is the one for today. Thanks again to everyone who stopped to read.