“I think I can do it without your help now,” Spike stated as he stood up, his legs feeling stronger than he could remember. He looked up at her and smiled. Buffy nodded, as she looked at him, noting that his face had healed nicely, leaving his skin perfect and pale.
“I’ll just stay near you, just in case, okay?” Spike chuckled, rolling his eyes.
“I’ll be fine. Go stand over by the door and wait for me. Maybe I’ll try to run,” he grinned, raising his eyebrows in excitement. They had been working on his legs for over a week, successfully keeping it secret from Angelus and Drusilla who liked to drop in unexpectedly to see if he had given into temptation and sucked her dry. He admitted there were times when she slept that he did think of sinking his teeth into her succulent neck but he never did.
He stood by the bathroom door, taking a deep breath as he began to walk over to her. A smile grew on her lips as she noted he was getting his old strut back, looking very much like the master vampire she had known before the whole church incident. She only hoped that he wouldn’t kill anyone anymore. She liked to think that she had made a new friend in Spike but she was still afraid to fully trust him, knowing at any moment he would go back to wanting to kill her. It would just be Angel all over again only at least if it did happen, she wouldn’t fall as hard as before.
Spike smiled when he finally reached her pulling her into a hug. “Thanks, Slayer. I owe you big for this.” He pulled away, shoving his hands in his pockets as she stared at him, something in her eyes that he couldn’t seem to read. “I should go take a shower, I reek.” Buffy giggled, nodding as she smiled at him. He had been begging for a shower but knew he couldn’t do it himself and Buffy refused the offer to bathe him. He smiled, walking over to the bathroom, after grabbing a towel from his trunk. He turned back as he reached the door and looked at her. “Care to join me, Slayer?” he asked, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively at her.
“No. A world of no! I’ll just read a book while you take your shower, alone.” Spike walked back over to her, a smile on his face as she sat down on the bed. He crawled towards her, a wicked smile splayed across his lips.
“Come on, Slayer, you know you want to,” he whispered huskily in her ear, his lips lightly grazing her jaw as his hands traveled her body. Her breathing quickened as she closed her eyes. “Give in to me; let me have you, let me pleasure you.” His lips trailed a line of kisses down her jaw to her neck where he found her pulse point and sucked on it lightly, not wanting to frighten her and make her think that he would bite her. Her hand wound in his hair, massaging his scalp while small pants escaped her mouth, warming his cheek.
Buffy closed her eyes, mewing at his ministrations as he sucked at her neck. “Give into the darkness, be with me.” Her eyes snapped open and she pushed him away, jumping off the bed, leaving him confused and somewhat hurt. He began to get up from the bed to see what had happened but she put her arm out pointing at him.
“Don’t come near me, just stay there on the bed.” He didn’t listen, getting up and walking over to her, reaching out to touch her. “Spike, don’t. I can’t do this. Not again.”
“What do you mean again?” he asked, touching her arm gently as she looked up at him with watery eyes. “Angel.” He stated, his lips setting in a thin line. “I’m not him. I’m nothing like him. I won’t go evil on you or do anything he’s done to you.”
“How do you know that?” Buffy cried out, glaring up at him.
“Because I’m already evil. You already know what I do. It won’t be a surprise to you. I can promise you that I won’t hurt your friends, or your family, or you. But you can’t change what I am Buffy. Nothing can change what I am. I need blood to survive and I’m not about to jump on the animal blood bandwagon.” Buffy pulled away from him.
“I can’t be with someone that kills let alone a vampire! What was I thinking? I’m sworn to kill you! I can’t do this.” Spike pulled her back in his arms roughly, holding her to him as she struggled against him.
“You were thinking that you saw something other than a monster. You were right in that Erik was like me. Like him, I am a monster because that is what this world has condemned me to. Like Erik, I can only live in the dark. But also like Erik, I am a man. With time, you’ll learn to see me as a man.” He turned her around, forcing him to look up at him as he shifted to his demon form. “This is what I am Buffy. Can you handle this? You could handle it before with Angel. How am I so different? Why can’t you see a man in me like you saw with him? Is it because I lack a soul? A vampire doesn’t need a soul to love completely or to be good. We can do it all on our own. Angelus doesn’t believe that vampires can love or be good. But he’s wrong and you know it.” He sighed, closing his eyes as his face shifted back to its original form, his grip on her loosening. “There’s one huge difference between Erik and I. I am not so willing to let what I love and what I want go. But, also unlike him, I’m going to give you a choice. Will you be like Christine and leave me for the safety and comfort of a world that a human can give you or will you do as you said, and be with me, in the dark and see a man behind a monster?”