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Author's Chapter Notes:
I know this chapter is on the short side well at least for me but the girl is tired and I felt the need to let her sleep. Before she falls down or one more person has to tell her how bad she looks. Cause she might have to kill them from sleep deprivation.

Thanks again for all the terrific reviews you guys are making me all giggly and happy. So please let me know what you think. Thanks so much!
"What is it exactly we're facing luv?"

"I'm not sure Spike. All I know is Angel is supposed to make a decision that will either help us defeat this place or end the world."

"No pressure there."

"So Angel you want to tell me what little plans you got swirling around that brain of yours."

She stared at him noticing that all he seemed capable of doing for the moment was staring between herself and Spike.

"Hello Earth to Angel?" She watched as he slowly shook his head.

"You love him?" Crap.

"Yes Angel. I love Spike. Would you like me to spell that for you?"

"How could you possibly love Spike?" Inwardly she suppressed a groan. This was going to be a long night.

"How couldn't I? You've seen the way he loves, completely with everything he is, how could I not fall in love with him?" She could feel the curiosity in the gaze centered on the back of her head. Well if they were going to hash this out now he might as well get to look in her eyes as it happens.

She stood and moved in front of Spike. Taking his arm gently she steered him to the couch and motioned for him to sit. Satisfied she went back and sat in the chair she had before.

"But this is Spike." Would he ever shut up?

"And you of all people should understand. You saw how much he loved Drusilla used it against him if I remember correctly."

"But...." She sighed heavily.

"What are you going to say? That he's a vampire and I couldn't love a vampire? Well hello pot calling kettle. That he used to be a soulless demon? Again not so much room for talk. Like you he's got his soul now. But do you really want to know the difference? If for some reason he lost his soul right now he would still love me and he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. Can you say the same Angel? Cause having experienced it for myself I'm thinking not."

She stood then and began to pace.

"No it hasn't been easy and yes we've both done some really hurtful stupid things. But there isn't a day that goes by when I don't think about him. Not a second when I can imagine my life without him. Not a moment in the last four months where I didn't feel an aching pain at being apart." She was staring into his blue eyes now not even paying attention to see if Angel was listening or not. "So yeah I love him. That true I can't possibly live without you because it cuts me up inside love. The hard messy worth it kind of love."

She sat back into the chair and focused her attention back on Angel.

"So are we done talking about this now?"

She could read the hurt in his eyes and a small part of her felt a tiny pang of regret. It wasn't her intention to cause him pain but the sooner he realized the truth the better it would be for all of them. And she had the sneaking suspicion that it would be in their best interest in the future if he was very comfortable with the fact that she loved Spike.

"Yes."

"Good."

"But I don't see why we would need to leave Wolfram and Hart." He was making her head hurt.

"Well that's my idea. It would just be better if you left. With everything that's happened there you would think that you would want to leave."

His eyes slid away from hers.

"I can't."

She didn't even try to pretend.

"Because of Connor. Do you really think they're going to keep their word?"

"How? How did you?"

"Angel I made sure they filled me in on everything. Even the stuff you did that wasn't so great. The others if they ever found out would be pissed."

"What are you talking about and who is Connor?" Buffy sighed.

"You should tell him Angel he is family." There was a pained look on Angel's face. "Fine if you don't want to that's up to you. But the fact is as long as you let them control you this way they're winning."

"You don't understand."

"Believe me I do. But this was never going to be a permanent solution and you should have known that. Making a deal with a bunch of evil lawyers is never going to end well."

"I just don't know what to do Buffy."

"Cordelia had the right idea you know. You have kind of lost yourself. I just wished she had explained it better and dropped all the cryptic soul searching crap. I hate that."

"So I got it wrong?"

"It's not your fault. They just suck at their timing is all. It wouldn't have been bad if you'd left like you wanted to before she showed up. The point was that you were the one who fights for what's right, okay. So what's so right about working in the office of evil incorporated? Nothing."

"Then I should just quit?"

"See now you get it. Less with the cryptic is of the good. Yes get out and take your friends with you before something really bad happens. Fight on your terms not theirs. But don't go out and pick petty fights either. Save yourself for the big battles."

"And what about Connor?" She looked deep into his eyes for a moment.

"They have a plan for him Angel. I know it hurts to even think about it but he really doesn't belong here."

"I can't accept that."

"I understand that too. Follow your heart with him its the only thing you can do. But right now he's living a lie and so is everyone else that knew him. You can't let that go on. And don't you think he'll resent it more once he finds out about this?"

He hung his head at her words and let out a deep sigh.

"I just don't know." She looked him over for a second thinking that he looked so tired, so beaten.

"Go and think about it. Take a night and stay at the hotel you used to live at. Get some perspective on the thing. If you need me I'll be here."

His eyes had taken on a worn and resigned look. Her heart tugged a little for him, sorry that someone she considered a friend had such a hard road ahead of them. Sorry she had to deliver the news herself.

He nodded in agreement and stood to go. She followed him to the door and gently placed a hand on his arm as he moved forward.

"I know this is hard but I'll help any way I can."

He nodded again and walked out the door.

She made sure the door was shut and sagged against it letting out a long sigh.

"Has it always been this hard to get through to him?"

"Long as I've known him." She walked slowly back over to him and sagged down next to his side.

"Want to explain some of that pet?"

"I would but it's not my place." His nod let her feel some relief that maybe she was done for the night. She let her eyes slip shut and her body relax.

After a moment she realized he'd been speaking.

"Huh?"

"Buffy you all right luv?"

"Sorry just tired."

"You should get some rest." He stood up. "I'll come by in the mornin' see if the others have made a decision."

"Spike could you stay here? I mean if you want to." After being apart for so long she didn't want him to leave.

"Sure. Why don't you go get ready."

She forced herself off of the couch and back into the bathroom to change into the shorts and t-shirt she'd had on earlier. Once done she walked back into the room and flopped herself onto the bed.

"All set?" She barely gave him a lazy nod.

He flicked off the light and made his way to the bed. Lying down next to her he gathered her in his arms holding her close.

"Spike." Her voice was muffled with the on come of sleep.

"Yeah pet?"

"I missed you."

"Missed you too luv." The sound of his voice and the comfort of his arms sent her drifting away in slumber.





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