It took them a bit of time to make it to the crypt with her half carrying Spike for most of the way. The pain was still getting to him and Buffy was sure he had almost passed out a couple of times.
She kicked the door open grinning at the familiar bang it made as it slammed against the wall. She had kind of missed that noise. Half dragging his body inside she pulled until he was in front of the sarcophagus that was the centerpiece of the crypt. Pushing him gently she lowered him down so he could finally relax. She watched as he fought a shudder against the obvious pain he was feeling.
"Spike are you going to be okay here by yourself?"
"I guess so. Why?"
"You're going to need more blood and I need to get something to eat." In response her stomach growled reminding her that the bowl of cereal she had the morning before was way gone.
He nodded at her and she took her time to look around at the crypt. She hadn't been back here since had left Dawn here with Clem after Spike had left to get his soul. It seemed like such a long time ago. The fridge and the chair were still there but the TV was gone. Why anyone would want to take that hunk of junk she had no idea.
"I'll be back as soon as I can."
As she closed the door behind her she wondered exactly where she was going to go. She still didn't have any money with her let alone any kind of identification. All of it was in her purse which happened to be, well it wasn't home any more was it. It was at the house where her friends and her sister lived. Eventually she was going to have to make a trip there just to get some of her things. And it would have to be soon wearing the same clothes was really grossing her out.
Picking a direction she headed for the hospital. Maybe with the exodus she had witnessed yesterday there wouldn't be so many people there.
She was pleasantly surprised to find the place deserted like everywhere else. Luckily there was enough light at the security guard station for her to locate a flashlight. Picking her way through the darkened halls she searched signs and finally found what she was looking for.
Pushing the door open she couldn't believe her luck as she found a styrofoam cooler and made a triumphant yell as she pushed the fridge at the back open to find still cool bags of blood lining the shelves. Grabbing as many as she could carry in the cooler she put the lid back on and picked her way back out of the silent building.
She wondered how long it would be before word spread that the threat in Sunnydale was gone. Once the news was out it wouldn't take long for everyone to come back. It was sad really cause she was getting used to the quiet. She had never known the town to be this peaceful before and it was a shame that it was going to end.
Once outside she headed to the nearest store secure in the knowledge that just about everyone had left town already.
She grabbed a few snack food items that could be eaten out of the package and headed back to the crypt a feeling of accomplishment radiating through her being. Maybe she would be all right on her own.
This time she actually opened the door like she was supposed to. She didn't want to disturb him if he was sleeping.
She hadn't needed to worry about that though she was greeted by the sight of him sitting up on the sarcophagus staring in the dark.
"What are you doing?" Oops that was a little too much irritation in her voice.
He just gave her a glare she could only half see since she didn't shine the flashlight in his face. She set the cooler and bag of food down on the floor and made her way around looking for some matches. Finding some on one of the ledges she used it to start lighting the candles around the room.
Task accomplished she shut off the flashlight and went back to the goods she had come back with. Opening the cooler she took out one of the bags and walked over to where he was still sitting watching her intently. Without saying anything she handed it to him and walked back so she could get something to eat for herself. She really was starving.
Tearing open a package she settled herself on the floor and began happily chewing. Why did it seem like everything tasted good when you were hungry?
"Where did you get this?" She looked up sharply at his irritated voice.
"Where do you think I got it?"
"It's human."
"Well duh."
"Buffy what are you doing?" She wondered when she was going to ever stop hearing that question.
"I'm trying to get you better you dope. Human blood will help you heal faster. Besides with the electricity off all that stuff isn't even going to be able to be used for transfusions. So you're not hurting anybody." She continued to munch on the beef jerky she had opened and pulled a water from the bag.
"What the hell is going on here?"
Why did he have to irritate her this way? She gently placed her water on the floor and set aside the food.
"Look I'm trying to help you. What's with the twenty questions?"
"Let me think. Maybe cause you're trying to help me?" Had she really been that cruel to him that even now he had to wonder when she wanted to help him? She hung her head shamed with the thought that it was her fault that he felt that way around her.
"Spike really I just want to help you." She looked back up at him again studying how the candlelight played against his features. "I wanted to help you like you helped me last night."
"I didn't do anything Buffy." His voice had gentled she noticed and gave a sigh in relief that they had a chance to talk about this and not fight.
"You're wrong Spike. What you did was huge. Do you really think I could have faced Caleb today and beaten him without the strength you gave me last night? Or that I could have gone back and killed him without being able to trust you to help the others and make sure they were okay?"
"Of course you could have pet. You didn't need me for that." She shook her head at him sadly.
"I would have ended up dead and you know it. If I had gone in there with the stuff from last night rolling around my brain I would have been so distracted he would have killed me in seconds. I know it. But you, God you gave me a feeling of strength I've never experienced and all you did was be there for me. Don't you get it? You are the only one left who still believes in me."
She was shocked when he got up and strode over to her angrily. He kneeled in front of her, eyes locking with hers.
"Don't talk like that. They still believe in you."
She couldn't help it. The laughter, harsh and bitter as it was, bubbled out of her throat on its own.
"Don't you get it Spike? They don't want me. It was made perfectly clear to me last night. For what ever reason I don't belong there anymore." The laughter stopped as suddenly as it began. And now with nothing to focus on, every crisis averted her words sunk into her. The loud sob that tore through her throat releasing her tears.
She hardly reacted as his arms wrapped around her trying to steady her as she shook with the force of her grief. It was time for her to deal with this and God she didn't want to. But there was no getting around it now she needed to face facts. As of right now she had no home.
Buffy was thankful that he was able to hold her for so long. Without the support of his arms she was sure she would have sunk down into a puddle on the floor. With him there she was able to hold on to a little sliver of self-control and not lose herself entirely to grief. Feeling the sobs lessen she began to let her brain kick in and start thinking about the next step she would take.
She was surprised when he handed her a napkin. Giving him a grateful smile she used it to dry her eyes and blow her nose.
He sat down in front of her in much the same position they had been in on the Hellmouth.
"Thank you." He tilted his head at her and she wondered at what thought was going through his head. "What?"
"I don't think I'll get used to you saying that."
"Well hold on cause I've got one that will shock you more. I'm sorry." The change in his face almost made her laugh if this wasn't so serious. "I mean it Spike I'm sorry. I've been a royal bitch to you since the moment we met."
"Um I might have deserved it pet." She saw the gentle smile that tugged at his lips.
"Come on. Well maybe that first year and okay when you came for the Gem of Amara but after that? I'm sorry. I was cruel and heartless and generally just bitchy. Why you haven't just found a way to kill me I'll never understand."
"You know why." He said it quietly but she knew what he meant.
"I do know. Which is even more reason that you baffle me. I mean you have every reason to hate me." She looked deeply into the blue of his eyes. "I hate me for it."
"Don't say that. There isn't anything about you that you should be ashamed of or hate." She took his hand.
"You see that's what I'm talking about."
"Why are you really doing all this pet?" Time to face the music apparently.
"Really I just wanted to. I know that it might be hard for you to accept this but in my own way I do care for you. It isn't love and actually sometimes I'm really sorry it isn't, but you are someone I trust." She looked at the hopeful look in his eyes. "I like to think we might actually be friends. Maybe that isn't what you want to hear but to me that means a hell of a lot."
"Do you mean that luv?"
"Yeah you silly vampire. I treasure my friends and I'll protect them no matter what."
"I know. Tell me one thing pet?"
"What?"
"Why now? Is it just because of what happened last night?" How could someone with such a life span be so insecure?
"No. Haven't you noticed it since you came back? I don't know what caused it but I don't care. Everything that's happened this year has only made it more obvious. Couldn't you tell by the way I reacted to what Wood and Giles tried to do? How much I defended you to the others? And today. I really thought I was going to lose you."
"No chance of that. To stubborn to just dust."
She laughed. This time it was with genuine joy.
"So are you okay with this?"
"I think so pet."
"Good. How do you feel now?"
"Still a bit sore but its better. So what now?"
"See that's a good question." She nodded at him. "I've been thinking about it."
"And?" She let the mood turn somber knowing that this was a big step for her.
"Maybe its time I left."
"What here?" He was confused again.
"No I mean Sunnydale."
"Um care to explain that a little pet?"
"Look every year we face a new big bad trying to take over the world or destroy it or whatever right? And every year they get a little bit stronger and tougher. But there isn't any reason why they all choose Sunnydale as their little getaway spot. I know it's the Hellmouth but Giles told me it's not the only one. So why do they all migrate here?"
She watched as his eyes filled with understanding.
"Right cause this is the only place with a bona fide slayer. The one that's defied death twice. I must look like the biggest conquest since Everest. But if I relocate say maybe to Cleveland eventually word will spread and they will follow me there. Leaving good old Sunnyhell with a lot less demon activity and leaving this place safer for the people who still live at 1630 Revello."
"Even with what they did to you, you still want to protect them?"
"Just because they suddenly lost their minds doesn't mean I don't want to protect them. Especially Dawn. The way I figure it I'm probably the only Slayer in history that has guarded one spot for so long. Well none have lived as long as I have but that's beside the point. Most of the others traveled until they found something that needed killing. Maybe by being here I'm placing everyone in more danger than necessary."
"Is this what you really want to do?"
"Does that matter? I don't think there has been a time in my life when I've actually made a choice that I wanted. So again not the point. But I do think that this is probably my best bet." She paused in thought for a moment. "But there are a few problems with my plan."
"Like what?"
"Well the biggest of course is money. I don't have any and its not like I can wipe out the bank account I do have and leave nothing for Dawn. Then there is getting there. Not sure how I'm gonna work that. Then once I get there I need a place to live and a job and transportation and a zillion other things that I'm sure I haven't thought of."
"Buffy are you really serious about this?"
"Look at my face Spike."
"Right your resolve face, no joking." He sighed and moved his hand from hers. "I do know some people in Cleveland they owe me a couple of favors. Could get you set up with what you need."
"Really?"
"If its what you want pet."
"Yeah it is." She watched as a look of sadness crept over his features. "Spike would you want to go with me?" She didn't know why she asked but the thought of being in a strange city totally on her own was kind of frightening. "I mean I understand if you want to stay here and all. You don't have to. And I have to admit I wouldn't worry at all about Dawn if you were still here. And I'm babbling and I'll just shut up now."
"Did you just ask me to come to Cleveland with you?"
"Um yes." She gave him a nervous smile. "It would be nice to have a friend there."
"You know there isn't anything here for me. I'd move heaven and earth to be where you are Buffy." He gave her a smile in return. "When do you want to leave?"
"I think tomorrow night. I have to take care of a few things during the day."
"Tomorrow night it is pet."
"You should feed some more Spike and get some sleep."
They spent the remainder of the night eating in silence until Spike rested again on top of the sarcophagus and Buffy settled into the chair after blowing out the candles.
"Goodnight Spike."
"Night Buffy."
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