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For days now Dawn had run to the mailbox as the postman had stopped by. She wasn't sure if she was that anxious for the letter she knew her sister would be sending or if she was just so desperate to keep the others from seeing it.

Buffy had been right of course and the gang had gone all ballistic the moment she had told them that Spike was with her. The yelling seemed to go on for days and Dawn wasn't really sure what they were more upset about. The fact that she chose leave or that Spike had gone with her.

It had finally gotten on her last nerve the night before as everyone was eating some dinner. She had to admit that the house had started to get a little quieter now that some of the potentials had begun to go home. She even could get up from her bed and not have to step over the bodies of girls to make her way to the bathroom and that was definitely of the good. But the somber mood that swirled around the core group was almost unbearable to be around.

Of course Xander had started the yelling fest as he usually did and she had wondered why the hell she had ever had a crush on the guy. He was so hypocritical and down right bigoted against demons in general that he couldn't see the large gray area she had started to notice when Spike had become her friend. So he had ranted about how Buffy was spending time with the evil undead and was giving up on her duties protecting the hellmouth and raising her. Thought she was totally irresponsible leaving Dawn to be taken care of by Giles and moving to God knows where. Soon of course the others had chimed in with there own thoughts about what her sister did and how wrong it was, the arguments going back and forth over and over again. After the fifth or sixth reference to her sister throwing her life away and not following her calling she had finally broken.

It was good that she was still so young in a way. She hated to think what the house would have been like had she been a few years older and as set in her ways as they were. But she wasn't and it hadn't really taken her that much time to actually see what was going on around her.

"That's enough!" It had been good to give a good solid yell one that wasn't accompanied by that ear-piercing wail she used to use. "If I have to hear any of you say one more bad thing about Buffy or Spike I'm gonna scream. Do you think this is what she actually wanted? That she was gonna leave her home and her friends and everything she cared about behind and be happy about it?" She had retaken her seat in her chair letting her voice return to normal. She wasn't sure if they were too stunned to talk or if they held their tongue because some of what she said struck a nerve with them.

"She's been gone for almost a week now and all you guys do is bicker over the fact that Spike went with her. You think she left the Hellmouth unguarded and let me fend for myself. Did you guys not pay any attention to what she's done? She still took care of me. Yeah she's not here but it's not like we gave her much of a choice is it? So she did what she could and had a responsible adult take up as my guardian. She took care of all the financial stuff that I had no clue about and Giles didn't even know. She made sure she took out the latest Big Bad and left before the next one came to town to look for her." She took a deep breath. "I know that in her heart she did what was best for all of us just like she always did. And I don't know about you but it hurts when I think about what we said to her. Do you think it hurt her any less that we used words to throw her out of her own house?"

"The point is we did this to her. She didn't ask for it and she didn't deserve it. I don't know what it is about you guys. Is it because she didn't say goodbye to you or that she thinks she can make a life without you in it? Cause given the fact that we all turned on her like a bunch of injured animals I wouldn't want us in my life either. So be mad if you want not that it will do any good and feel free to take on as much guilt as you can carry cause that's what I'm doing, but I'm not going to sit here and listen to you guys bash her for leaving. And even though you guys don't want to hear it maybe it is a good thing that Spike is going with her. He's the only one she can still trust and if its true that he can help her well that makes sense doesn't it? So this is the last thing I care to say about this. She is still my sister and I still love her. If she can manage to find even a little scrap of happiness out there then good for her. I think her life has been hard enough already. When you guys are ready to act like the adults your supposed to be then you can come talk to me."

She had walked out of the room her head held high, the silence behind her easing her mind.

No one had spoken to her all morning and for some strange reason Dawn was okay with that. It wasn't like they were never going to talk to her again but they needed time to get their own thoughts straight.

Pulling the mail out of the box she was glad to see the small envelope in her sisters scrawl. Dumping the other mail back inside of the mailbox she took the letter and sat with her back against the tree Buffy used to use to get in and out of her window.

*******

Hey Dawnie,

Told you I would write. Where to start? Okay. First I'm gonna tell you that I'm in Cleveland. Giles can take a deep breath and relax this Slayer is still guarding over a hellmouth. It is after all my destiny blah blah blah. It's different here not like Sunnydale at all and I think I'm gonna like it.

So I thought long and hard about this Dawn and I'm thinking that I shouldn't give you my full address. Now don't do that hear me out. I think the overwhelming temptation for you to come to wherever I am is something that is only going to get stronger as time goes by. And I know you Dawnie. The others might not realize it but you are the sneakiest girl I know. So this way the temptation isn't all there. At least you know what city I'm in. So how do we keep in touch you ask? Well I thought I would go ahead and keep sending you these letters to the house and if you want you can have Xander take whatever you want to send to Willie's (Don't you dare go yourself you know it's too dangerous) Spike and I've set up a system that will get it to us. Tell Xan and Giles its useless for them to try to get it out of Willy this goes way passed him and we didn't give him any info. Please like he could keep a secret he's worse than Andrew.

So what else? Oh Spike got us this terrific two-bedroom apartment. I love it Dawn it's gorgeous. I never thought that he would have such good connections but wow. Anyway it was already furnished and everything.

He got me a job too. No working at the Doublemeat for me. I could almost squeal. It's at a video store, which is so up my alley the hours are perfect 2-10 not too early and I get out early enough to take care of patrolling. And hello free rentals! My boss is nice and hey any thing beats not having to smell like grease.

Spike has decided to stay and I'm kind of glad. I really would miss him if he left you know? I know big turn around huh? But it's true. We've been talking and I think I've finally found someone I don't have to be all avoidy with you know? Who knew that Spike of all people would make such a great friend? Well probably you. I wish I had listened to you more about that. Sometimes I get a little jealous with the way you seem to be able to read people. It was something Mom was good at too. Guess I missed that little piece of the gene pool.

I hope everyone is treating you okay. I know that they've probably been with the yelling and the screaming with me and I know that is not so pleasant. I don't know how you feel about any of this and I hope that one day you'll at least understand why I did the things I did. Cause you know as far as I know you could have torn this letter up with the first paragraph. But I hope not.

I love you and I miss my bratty little sister. I hope you know that I will be waiting to hear from you. Picture me sitting in front of the mailbox just staring at it day and night until I get a letter. But I'll understand if you don't want too.

I should go now today I have to go to work and afterwards Spike and I are going on our first patrol out here. Tell everyone that I'm okay and I think about them. (Still mad and hurt though) Someday soon I hope to get up enough nerve to talk to them and tell you the truth it will probably be Willow first. But you probably knew that. Don't let them drive you too crazy.

I love you and I will write again soon I promise.

Love,

Buffy


******

Without even realizing she had flown into the house and up the stairs to her room. Digging around she finally found a pen and some paper. She flounced herself on the bed and began to write





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