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Chapter 10


It was his move. Xander shifted uncomfortably and searched Willow's face. She was smiling, that was good, and there was the leaning, and the puckering. That was a big clue. He'd been here so often, and ballsed it up so many times that he had no idea what women wanted any more. Her sweet rosebud of a mouth hovered invitingly in front of him, her eyes half closed. If only she'd tell him, give him permission. He really wanted to kiss her.

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Willow was beginning to feel as if she'd entered a smiling contest. She'd sent out every signal she knew, and he was still sitting there looking terrified. Perhaps she'd scared him with the tie thing?

"Xander?"

"Yes, that's me." His voice came out as a high-pitched squeak. He coughed, and adjusted it to a more manly tone. "Yes?"

"The sweeping off the feet. You can do it any time now."

He looked her up and down. "But you're already off your feet." His laugh was more than a little hysterical. "But you already know that, right? "Oh god..." His voice trailed off. "Help me here."

He was looking at her so appealingly that Willow's heart did a little double take. Before, with the tie thing, it had been just sexual. She'd been curious about how he'd react and surprised at the reaction she'd gotten. But this was an entirely different feeling. In that heartbeat, she'd realised that she could really get to like this guy. And she didn't like seeing him suffer like this. Not when she could put it right.

"Xander, what would you say if I asked you to kiss me?"

"You would?"

He looked so relieved that Willow had to bite back a giggle that was threatening to entirely spoil the moment. She nodded. "Yes, I think I would." She half closed her eyes again and offered him her lips. There was an agonising wait of a split second, before his met hers in a gentle, almost shy touch. It was unbearably sweet, and it felt like coming home. All the memories of previous, teenage kisses, the awkward ones where you banged your teeth together, the slobbery wet ones, the gagging tongue-down-the-throat ones, all faded from memory. And were replaced by this. She leaned in a bit further, increasing the pressure and he did the same. She changed the angle and he adjusted his to fit. He'd actually taken his hands out of his lap and was holding on to her elbows, so she put hers on his waist. It's like a dance she thought, and we both know the steps And she had to breathe.

As she pulled away, Xander tried to follow her, his eyes hazy and unfocussed. He muttered something she didn't catch and pulled her back to him, his arms sliding up her elbows and around her back. His mouth became more demanding as he pushed her back into the sofa, and she shifted to accommodate him. Then he had to breathe. He lifted his head and looked at her, his chest heaving, a ghost of a grin on his lips. She smiled back and his grin became wider.

They were like two schoolkids who had discovered a delicious secret. Xander nodded, his grin becoming goofier by the second and Willow simply said, "yeah." She gave a happy little sigh and pulled him down for another kiss.
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"It's been more than half an hour." Buffy looked at her watch as Spike parked the car. "They'll be getting worried."

"No they won't. You staying in the car?"

"What, and miss this cultural experience, no way." Buffy followed Spike out of the car and linked her arm in his.

He gave her arm a quick squeeze and disentangled himself. "Sorry love, gotta be careful for now. They know me in here."

She stuffed her hands in her pockets, feeling suddenly self conscious. "Sorry, didn't think of that."

"Hey, it won't be for long. Just wouldn't be fair for Dru to find out from someone else."

"Maybe I should wait in the car then." Buffy turned to go back, feeling ever so slightly hurt. It was silly really, and he was entirely right. He would be all hers soon enough. She wanted things to be perfect all the time, but this was real life. It was messy and complicated, and quite wonderful all at the same time. His arm reached out to stop her and she suddenly felt ashamed of her little outburst. "It's okay Spike." She patted his hand, focusing on that, not his face. "Go get the food. My treat. Here," she handed him a twenty pound note. "Will this be enough?"

She couldn't tell what he was thinking as he took the money. He simply nodded in understanding and handed her the car keys. She took them and let herself back into the car, still feeling mildly embarrassed about her mis-step. Did this mean that they couldn't be seen together at all until he finished with Dru? Would it be that obvious if they pretended to be just friends? She could never just be Spike's friend, she realised. It would be torture seeing him and not being able to touch him. To sit a few feet away from him and not take him in her arms. The driver's door opened and Spike and the delicious smell of fish and chips entered the car.

"Like your new after shave." She was trying to be jolly as he handed her the carrier bag full of food, but she knew she didn't sound it. "Mmm. This smells good. Can't wait to get back now."

He slammed his door, put the key in the ignition and turned to her, bringing his hand up to the side of her face. "Listen to me Buffy. I was a real thoughtless prat back there. Will you forgive me?"

Buffy leaned her head into his hand. When he looked at her like that, she'd forgive him anything."There's nothing to forgive, Spike, Dru needs to hear it from you. But you can kiss me now, right? Windows all steamed up, no-one can see in."

"You bet." Spike pulled her across the seat, and Buffy let out a shriek as she rolled onto the bag containing the food.

"Oh. No. Now look what you've done." She put her hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle, "How are we going to explain this to Xander and Willow?" She held up the flattened bag and giggled again. "They're going to think we were..."

"I wish." Spike gave her a swift peck on the mouth, started the engine and turned the car for home. "This'll have to be our little secret, just for a while longer."

On the way home, Buffy thought about what she'd nearly said. That big, important step in her life. It was about to happen and it was exciting and just a teeny bit nerve-racking. She desperately wanted the first time to be with Spike, she was sure of that and she knew he would make it special for her. She wasn't that innocent, but she suddenly felt like a naive schoolgirl next to him. The way he'd taken on Angelus, the way he drove, the way he kissed. He did everything so confidently. Like he was used to being in charge. She gazed out into the night as a delicious warmth began to pulse through her. He'd said he was going to throw her over his shoulder and take her upstairs, and she wanted him to. She wanted him to teach her everything he knew.

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Right now, Buffy had Spike handcuffed naked to her bed. She was wearing the naughty leather top and the stockings, of course, and she was standing over him while he lay there, helpless and hers to command. She squeezed her legs together and rolled over onto her stomach. That last image had really hit the spot. Perhaps she shouldn't have insisted that everyone stay the night, because she just wanted to go into the next room, where he was, and jump into bed with him. Of course, the fact that Xander was in the same room put somewhat of a damper on things.

They'd all ended up having far too much to drink and no-one was in any state to drive home. Xander and Willow had tried to play it cool, but by the end of the evening it was obvious they were an item. She'd had to make do with a few quick snogs in the kitchen, on the pretext of fetching more drinks, but that had only added to the frustration. She threw back the covers and got out of bed. Her head was swimming a little and she knew she was going to have a monster hang-over if she didn't do something about it. Water. That's what you were supposed to drink. Lots of it. She slipped out of her room and made her way towards the stairs.

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Spike lay on his back, one arm thrown across his face, listening to Xander's regular breathing. He was pleased for him. It was about time he had some success in love, and he and Willow had looked so happy. He couldn't help feeling a twinge of jealousy though. They had nothing to stop them and he had to face Dru tomorrow. It was going to break her heart. No wonder sleep wouldn't come. And having Buffy in the next room wasn't helping.

He heard Xander stir. He let him get half-way out of bed and then he coughed. Xander shot back under the covers, as Spike grinned to himself. He was pleased for him, yeah, but that didn't mean he couldn't have some fun with him. That's what mates were for, right?

"So, you got it on with Red then?"

"What?" Xander was, very obviously, pretending to be half asleep.

"Willow. The two of you, you know, together."

"Yeah. She's great Spike." Xander gave up all pretence of sleeping and sat up. "I just gotta go to the er...take a leak."

"Of course you do." Spike grinned into his pillow. At least someone was going to get to work off their frustration tonight. the lucky bastard

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Willow couldn't stop thinking about the film. One particularly gory bit kept repeating itself over and over in her mind, until she couldn't stand it any longer. She wished Xander were here, so she could cuddle up to his manly chest, and feel safe. That's what manly chests were for, she decided. It was a comforting thought, and if he'd been alone in the spare room, she might have considered slipping in, and climbing into bed with him. It had only been an hour since she'd seen him and she was missing him already. That first kiss had been an absolute revelation, but Buffy and Spike had arrived home far too soon. And now someone was moving outside the door, and making their way down the stairs. Once she'd convinced herself that it wasn't an extra from the film, she slid out of bed and peeked round the door.

"Buffy, is that you?" The figure stopped, and turned round.

"Yes," she whispered. "Going down for a drink. Can't you sleep either?"

"No. Wait, I'll come too." Willow grabbed her sweatshirt and put it on over the short nightie that Buffy had lent her, then she tiptoed downstairs after Buffy.

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Xander really did need the bathroom, so he went there first. He wondered if Willow would mind if he sneaked into her room- just for a cuddle. And maybe another of those mind-blowing kisses that she was so good at. They couldn't get up to much else with Buffy and Spike around, and even in his drunken state he realised that she wasn't that sort of girl. Sleeping with a guy would be a big commitment for her, and despite her bravado with the tie thing, he knew he needed to go slow. He finished up and made his way to what he hoped was her room. The door was open. Peering in, he saw that she wasn't in her bed. Where the hell was she? He walked back out to the landing and listened. Probably in with Buffy. Girls liked to talk about things, didn't they? Buffy's room was quiet too, but then he noticed the light on downstairs. That's where they were. Missing you already Willow. Forgetting he was clad only in his boxer shorts, he made his way down the stairs.

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Buffy poured herself a big drink of water and downed it in one. "Don't want to get a hangover, do you want one Will?"

Willow waved her hand. "Got any fruit juice?"

"Yeah, I got everything." Buffy opened the fridge door and took out a carton. "Get yourself a glass - in there. Then tell me everything."

Willow poured herself a drink. "Don't know what you mean."

"Come on Willow, spill. The U.S.T was rolling off the pair of you in waves when me and Spike got back."

"U.S.T. What's that?"

"Unresolved sexual tension."

Willow took a long swig of her drink. "What, like you and Spike?"

"What?" Don't blush, don't blush "I've no idea what you're talking about."

"Buffy, it's okay. Your secret is safe with me. I guess Xander can't know?"

Buffy let out a long breath and flopped down into a chair. "Is it that obvious?"

"Is the pope a Catholic? Yeah, just a little. I guess Xander didn't notice because he was - he was..."

"Aha, so you are together."

"Yes." Willow's face lit up. "Oh, Buffy it's just too wonderful. He sort of fits right into me."

Buffy frowned. "Not sure I'm getting the imagery here." A little light bulb went on in her head. "You didn't?"

"What? No. He's just so," Willow leaned towards her and whispered. "I could really, really, get to like him. You were right Buffy, sometimes you have to just go for what you want."

Buffy was about to answer when she heard a noise at the door. "What's that?"

Willow looked round anxiously, as the door shook. Just like it did in the film.

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Xander stood outside the kitchen door, one hand about to push it open. What was that?
It was Willow's voice. Was she talking about him? She could really get to like him? His chest swelled with manly pride and he felt a primitive urge to rush into the kitchen and carry her off. She really liked him. The way she'd said it. Tonight was all his dreams come true at once. Then Buffy's face peered round, serious at first but breaking out into a huge grin when she saw his state of undress.

"Oh it's you." She turned back into the room. "It's only Xander." Then her face appeared again. He squirmed uncomfortably as Buffy's gaze dropped to his underwear. "You look, umm, cold." She pointed to the coat-closet. "Find yourself something, then come join us. It looks like the party's starting up again."

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Spike lay in bed, listening to the goings-on on the landing. First Buffy's door, then Willow's. Xander was in the bathroom, then he was going downstairs. What the hell was happening? He climbed out of bed and pulled on his jeans. Damned if they were starting up the party again without him.

He could see Willow's room was empty. Slowly, he pushed open Buffy's door. The bedside lamp was on, but she wasn't there. He stepped inside, feeling a bit like a pervert as he took in the rumpled bed-linen, her make-up neatly arranged on the dressing table, the discarded underwear on the floor. He was just drunk enough to think it was a good idea, so he slipped inside, picked up her panties and stuffed them into his back pocket. He gave her cuddly pig a wicked grin. "I'll give them back, promise." God, that was a lucky pig, getting to sleep where she did The bed smelled vaguely of her perfume, and he had to fight the urge to climb in and wait for her to return. A poetry book lay open and he raised an eyebrow as he saw what she was reading. Whoa, she was definitely as frustrated as he was if she was reading this sort of thing in bed He looked around and recognised her college bag in the corner. Ripping a scrap of paper from her notebook, he rummaged for a pen. page 42, only with stockings He scribbled on the paper and tucked it inside her book. Then he went downstairs to join the party.

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It was three am before anyone went back to bed. For some strange reason, Buffy had a huge collection of board games including Cluedo, the English version of Clue, so they all trooped back into the television room to play. Once he'd got over the shock of seeing Xander wearing a vaguely familiar fur coat, Spike settled himself as closely to Buffy as he could, without arousing suspicions. He found that if he casually leaned one arm on the floor just behind her, he could tickle the base of her spine without anyone seeing that he'd moved his hand. This kept him amused for the rest of the evening, especially as Buffy was struggling to keep a straight face as he stroked her. He got bolder and bolder as he realised that Willow and Xander weren't taking much notice anyway. It was definitely going to be Willow, with Xander, in the bedroom, very soon.

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He was going to pay for this, Buffy thought as she squirmed and tried not to laugh. She was devilishly ticklish and he was torturing her. So was the fact that he was half-naked and wearing his glasses so he could read the cards. The combination of a shirtless Spike and glasses made an incredibly erotic picture. The intellectual and the sex-bomb, all rolled into one. She imagined him standing, like this, in front of a class of students, book in hand, explaining the finer point of Romantic Poetry. While all the female, and probably some of the male students, swooned and sighed. The would be a popular class! Oh, it was her move.

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Eventually Willow fell asleep on Xander and he gallantly, if somewhat unsteadily, carried her upstairs to her bed. Then he slipped in beside her and held her close, thanking a god he didn't really believe in for this tremendous gift he'd been given.
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As soon as they left the room, Spike pulled Buffy towards him. "Thank god they've gone. Goodnight kiss?"

"Yes please." Buffy's fingers threaded into his hair and held him firmly, possessively. "I thought they'd never go."

He'd only meant it to be a quick kiss, but there was no way he could control it. Not with the loosened inhibitions of too much alcohol. He crushed her to his chest, kissing her long and hard. The buttons on her pyjama top opened as he pulled at them, desperate to feel her against him, skin to skin. Her soft breast filled his hand, the nipple hardening as he grazed it with his thumb. She pressed herself against him, making little noises deep in her throat, and he groaned with the sheer torment of it all.

"Buffy, Buffy, Buffy." He murmured it over and over as he kissed her face, trailing his lips across her cheek, loving the way she squirmed as he whispered it in her ear. Loving the way she arched up into him as his mouth moved lower to her breast. Her hands were on his back, urging him down, sliding to his bottom, and squeezing. Feeling in his pocket? He tried to wriggle out of her grasp, but she had them.

"Spike?" She held up the panties, her eyes wide. "Spike!"

He buried his face between her breasts. "The pig gave them to me. Bit of a pervert that pig, if you ask me." Then he looked up and was mightily relieved to find she was smiling. "You're not cross then?"

"I haven't decided." Her grin became decidedly wicked. "Of course, you'll have to be punished."

He dropped his head once more and kissed his way from one breast to the other, knowing this had to stop soon. He had to go to his bed and she had to go to hers. "Is that a promise?"

"Oh yes," Buffy gave a gasp as his mouth found her already-aching nipple. "It most definitely is."





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