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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanx to Cecilia for her incredible patience for beta-ing this fic and for all her support.
Special thanx to those who reviewed the last chap, you guys are incredible and you keep blowing me away!!! So here goes: Dannii, Cecilia, BuffyandSpikeForever, sarah g, Shelly, Saltygoodness, Lacey, Blondiebear, BlessedKarma (thanx for the pointer too!), PyroDeScorpio, Aisling, Seraiza, Jess, Brat, Kattie :thank you all for the reviews and thanx to the other readers too!xxx


It looked into the light and studied it. It knew the light wouldn’t hurt it but still, it was weary. The light’s intensity was almost blinding and yet, the demon could not tear its gaze from it. The way it swirled and flowed was beyond graceful. Its power was as great as the demon’s and this intrigued it. The demon’s essence reached out, coming close to the light and touching it ever so slightly. What happened next came as a surprise. The demon tried to pull back but it was too late. The light pulled it in closer and started to combine with its blackness. The demon knew it should fight harder but this light was filling it with something it had yet to experience. The feeling could only be described as warmth, and the demon liked it.



William opened his eyes and looked at his mum who was sleeping next to the cot, just out of reach. The second he awoke, he was overcome with an immense grief that consumed both him and the demon. The grief was not their own, and the need to search out and comfort the one it belonged to raged inside both the demon and the man. For the first time since they had been forced into the same existence, they had found their common place, and they needed to get to its source as soon as they could.


“Mum…Wake up, mum.”

Jenny opened her eyes and looked into his.

“William?”

He shook his head sadly and tears gathered in her eyes.

“Who are you then?”

He closed his eyes and struggled to find the answer. He was still William in a sense but there was more to him now; a second voice in his head, a darkness, a demon, but something in him also whispered ‘a friend’. He smiled lightly as the truth dawned on him and he came to terms with who and what he had become.

“Spike.”






‘Dear Buffy,

If you’re reading this then I am truly sorry that I have not been able to keep the promises that I have made. Please try to forgive me for leaving you although it was not by choice. It would never have been by choice, Princess.

From the first day I saw you at school, I knew. I knew that I was made to love you and you allowed me the chance to do just that. For that, I am forever in your debt.

No matter how it has come to pass that I am gone, be it natural or supernatural, I beg you to understand that this is not your fault. Everyone’s time comes Buffy, and as much as you’d like to, you cannot save everyone from everything.

I am grateful that I had the time I did with you and I know I must have died a happy man. How could I not have? You showed me what heaven could be like every time you smiled at me and now I’m there, watching over you.

I know that things seem dark right now, but everything will be okay kitten, trust me. Time will heal the wounds you have and replace them with beautiful memories.

I have one favour to ask of you. Talk to me when you can. Even if it’s just a hello I’ll hear it and I’ll know that you have not forgotten me, as I will never forget you.

Be strong Buffy, for your friends and for my mum, for you and for me, be strong. The hardest thing to do in this world is live in it. Can you do that for me Buffy? Can you live for me?

Know that I will always love you and have not stopped, even though I am no longer there. My love eternally
William.’



Buffy folded the letter and looked at the grave she was sitting by. The stone read:

William Calendar
Loved greatly in life
Missed greatly in Death

For some reason, Jenny had not added the year of his birth or the year of his passing. As her hands skimmed over the marble, a thousand thoughts drifted through Buffy’s head.

Why hadn’t anyone seen William get hit by the car?
Why wasn’t a hit and run mentioned in the paper?
Who had called Jenny to tell her what had happened?
How had Jenny gotten to the hospital and left so quickly?

None of it was adding up. Of all the ways to die in Sunnydale, getting hit by a car was one way the town had yet to see.


“Hey baby, it’s me…” Buffy started to say but unexpectedly fell to the ground and gripped her stomach. God! She was so thirsty it hurt.

She struggled to stand again but the thirst was soon accompanied by something else. Urgency? ‘Urgency to what?’ Buffy asked herself as she lay there on the ground, closing her eyes to the pain inside of her. She was certain that these were not her feelings. But if that was the case, who in the hell’s were they? The intensity of her pain doubled for a blinding second, distracting her from feeling the tingling sensation centered on the scar on her neck.







Jenny looked on as Spike’s eyes flashed from blue to amber and understood what she needed to do. He was ‘alive’ or undead because of her and now she had to take care of the vampire’s obvious need.

Walking slowly to the bed, she took out a small knife and cut a thin line across her wrist, immediately pressing it to his mouth.


He pulled at the delicate skin between his lips as his fangs lowered and he growled in satisfaction. As he drank, the pangs he’d been feeling slowly started to fade away. He looked up at the woman who was giving him her life and retracted his teeth after a few moments. She was paler but she was okay.

“Was it enough?” Jenny asked faintly. Spike nodded his head.

“I’ve gotta go mum. I have to find her.”

Jenny shook her head. “No, it’s not safe.”

“She needs me.” He said simply.

“Just because she turned you doesn’t mean she won’t hurt you.” Jenny stressed.

“I’m not talking about my sire, mum. I’m talking about Buffy.”


“She’s the slayer.”

“And I’m a vampire. What of it?”

“She’ll kill you.” Jenny cried, her voice choking as the words left her lips.

“And I’ll willingly let her, but not before I tell her I love her one last time.”

Jenny shook her head again.

Spike growled angrily. “I know you’re trying to do what’s best for me, but if your idea of what’s right is keeping me chained up here for the rest of your soddin’ life and a good chunk of my unlife, then stake me now. If I can’t see her then what’s the point of living?”

“You’re not living.” Jenny said quietly as her tears fell.

“I am when I’m with her,” he said just as softly. Jenny took the key to the chains that held him and slipped them in the lock.









“Oh the stars are whispering again daddy…psst, psst, psst, they tell me all their secrets.”

Angel looked at her and sighed. He’d been by her side almost the whole time since he’d found her days ago. She was crazier then he remembered if that was possible.

“What are they saying Dru?”

“It’s time to meet your grand childe daddy.” She said with a laugh as Angel stiffened.



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