Chapter 20

Spike sat in the quad of the college campus, Buffy having told him to wait for her as she went in to talk with her advisor. He leaned against the tree behind him and closed his eyes. So, this was what bliss felt like. He felt like a new man. More so than he did when ‘Spike' emerged. He felt regenerated, like the world was his oyster and Buffy was the one holding the shell.

"I hope it's me that's making you smile like that."

Spike grinned and popped his eyes open looking up at Buffy standing there
in her pink skirt and white tank, holding some papers with her purse slung
across her shoulder.

"Always you luv." He tugged on her hand. Come sit with me."

She obliged him, settling herself with her back to his front.

"Get everything squared away?" he asked, propping his chin on her
shoulder.

"Yep. I just sign up for classes in a week and then it's all systems go."

"Excited?"

"Yes. And nervous. . . and I feel kind of dumb."

"Dumb?" he frowned, "Why?"

"Because I just left and now I'm going back again. I mean, I know people
do that stuff when they go on to get their masters, but I feel like I'm
starting over again."

"Not exactly. You're just going further than you had."

"You make it sound as if it's a good thing."

"It is. You want more for yourself and there's nothing wrong with taking
steps to do that."

"Is that what it was like when you transformed yourself?"

"I never thought of it that way, I guess. I knew I wanted to be more of a
man for you—"

"Not just for me though, Will. There's too much pressure in that. So please
say it was for you. Don't let me be the entire reason. You had to want it to
make yourself feel good too."

"There's pressure in knowing you're my inspiration, my muse?"

"Oh yes," she said nodding emphatically.

"Why?"

"Will, we don't have to get into that –"

"Buffy, tell me. It's still me, remember? I'm still the William that helped
take care of you when you got your wisdom teeth pulled and your mouth
swelled up like a balloon. I'm still the William whose shoulder you cried on
when Parker told you, you were a cold fish. Which, I have to say after this
morning he's fucking nuts."

She giggled.

"So, tell me, please. I want to know what's on your mind. I want to know
everything."

She fell silent but he could tell by the gestures she was making with her
hands that she was trying to find the right words. Finally, "Because it
makes me feel as if I'm more than I am and . . . I don't want to disappoint
you.

"Disappoint me? Buffy, if this morning was any indication—"

"One day though William. One day you could grow tired of me. Or you
could want someone else. You could get bored."

"Don't want any girl in the world, Buffy. I only want you."

"You say that now."

"What makes you think anything'll change about that?" he asked, holding
her tighter against him, silently supporting her openness. "You know what
I think?"

"What?"

"I think it's an excuse. You're using my never-going-to-happen infidelity
and non wandering eye as an excuse for something else you're afraid of."

"I've protected you all the time Will."

"Okay," he said slowly, not sure where she was going with that.

"What happens if something goes wrong and I hurt you? Who will protect
you from me?"

Spike turned her in his arms, making her face him and hold her in his lap.
"Look at me," he ordered softly.

"Do you want to hurt me?"

"No."

"Do you plan to hurt me?"

"No."

"Would you hurt me given the chance?"

"Never."

"Then you won't. Not intentionally anyway."

"What if you want some other grass because this one just isn't green
enough? What if we have sex and you realize you want to try it out on
someone else?"

"Anyone ever tell you that you think too much?"

"Yes. You do all the time."

"It's true. You overanalyze much too much over something that should be
the least of your worries. Me leave you? I hate to break it to you Buffy, but
there's nothing you could do to make me leave your side. You could move
and I'd follow you. You could tell me you never want to see me again, and
I'd stalk you until you took me back. You could . . . kill me—"

"William!"

"And I'd haunt you. Nothing, Buffy, nothing will make me leave you. I've
had chances you know, opportunities. I'm pretty sure if I wanted to, Dru
would have been willing to teach me things—"

Buffy started to move off his lap and he held her fast. "No," he told her,
"listen to me."

She looked at him, but the look on her face let him know she was not happy
to be hearing this.

"When she took me out to that club and all those women were looking at
me and wanting me, the only one I was thinking of was you. The only one I
wanted to see me that night, was you."

"So you're saying it's me?" she smirked.

He leaned in and kissed her softly. "Yep."

She cupped his face in her hands. "When did you get so good at this stuff
Will?"

"Observing. I might not have said much or done much when we'd all go
out, but I was always watching and listening. I'd like to think I'd gathered
enough information over the years to know some of the basics of what to do
in a relationship."

"Will, I don't even know what to do in a relationship all the time. Mine
haven't exactly been note worthy."

"Then we'll do it together. Just like we'll take care of each other and
protect each other. Sound good to you?

"Will?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm done talking now. Will you take me home so I can teach you more
things?"



Buffy thought it was possible that conscientious Will had broken every
speeding record on their way back to the apartment. She had watched in
fascination as his member had not only risen, but stayed at attention
through the car ride home. And when she'd leaned over to nibble on his ear
and suck on his neck, she thought he'd cream his pants.

Once inside the apartment, he stalked her like a cat on the prowl. She
couldn't help but giggle, and not because it wasn't sexy –oh god was it! –
but because she found herself nervous. Nervous situations made her giggle.
Exploring anyone sexually for the first time was a little daunting, but this
was Will and it was his first time for it all. She wanted it to be special for
him. She stopped giggling. That wouldn't help his ego at all. Instead she
reached out and grabbed him, slamming her lips against his and wrapping her arms around him.

"Mmm…I love kissing you," she panted when she broke free. His lips
trailed down her neck, and he alternated between sucking and nipping at
her skin, causing goose bumps to form.

"You taste so good," he murmured. His head popped up, his eyes were
nearly black with lust. "I want to taste more." He grinned then and picked
her up, hauling her over his shoulder.

She swatted his behind and laughed. "You brute!"

"You like it," he told her and flipped her gently onto her bed. She looked up
at him. "I do," she agreed. She made fast work of kicking off her shoes and
then tugging off her pants and shirt. She started for her panties when
William grabbed her arm, halting her.

"No, I want to do that. For now, just let me . . . God, you're amazing. . . " he
gazed at her with such tenderness that her breath caught. Tossing his shirt
off, it was her turn to stare.

"Will, you're gorgeous," she blurted out.

He smiled, "Thank you, so are you."

"Come here," she crooked her finger at him."

Dipping his knee onto the bed, he started his prowl to her, gliding his hand
up her calf and down her thighs, just teasing his fingers on the edge of her
panties. That simple touch made her quiver.

"May I?" he asked, placing his hands on either side of her panties.

"Please," she nearly choked out.

He slowly slid her panties down her tanned and toned legs and discarded
them over his shoulder.

She figured he'd ask questions, take his time, maybe observe a bit. She was
wrong, Laying on his stomach, he spread her legs and dove in.

"Will," she managed to get out, "Do you know what--?"

"Let me try," he whispered and glided his hand down her slit. "You're
wet," he observed.

"Mmmm," she agreed.

"Is it because of me?" he asked, a taunting huskiness in his voice.

"Yes…"

"I want to taste you now," he informed her and licked the path his finger
had just taken. When he reached her clit, she twitched, trying not to grind
herself on him and scare him.

"Kitten likes it when I lick at her cream," he murmured deeply and this
time spread her lips with his fingers. "Now where's that little . . . mmm…
that it?" he asked and sucked her clit in his mouth.

"Oh Christ!" she shouted, her head dropping back onto the bed.

"Yep, that's it. Now what if I.." and he slid his finger inside her as he
suckled on her clit.

"Oh fuck…Will…oh god Will. . . " and she dug her fingers in his silky
platinum hair.

"I want more cream, kitten. Come for me so I can have more cream. . . "
He stopped sucking and twirled her clit with his tongue.

She was writhing, panting and moaning and she didn't care. She was
coming undone and just one little suck and she'd --

"Augghhhh!" she screamed out her ecstasy, her fingers now digging in the
bed so as not to hurt him. She felt him lapping at her and then he stopped.
When she looked back down at him, his head was on her thigh and he was
stroking it with his hand.

"You taste good, kitten. Can I have more?"

"Definitely, but not now."

"Why not?" he pouted.

She crooked her finger and he came up to her, kissing her hard. She rolled
him over and put his hands over his head. She smiled at him. "Because it's
my turn to have a taste."





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