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Chapter Nine

Buffy woke up after a restless night wondering what she would greet once she stepped foot outside her bedroom door. Would William be William or would William be Spike? She rolled her eyes. Spike. What the freaking hell kind of nickname was that? She frowned. No better than Buffy she supposed. However, in her defense, her younger sister gave that to her when she was trying to say "Beth" since "Elizabeth" just wasn't cutting it.

"I've got the world on a string, sitting on a rainbow . . . " William was up and
belting out Sinatra.

She smiled broadly and jumped out of bed to greet him. Apparently he
wasn't hung over which meant he would hopefully be in a good mood, which
meant he wouldn't be such an ass to her today.

She burst open the door and found William pulling out the milk from the
fridge.

"Morning," she said hesitantly. He sounded like he was William, he almost
looked like William, but as she learned last night looks can be deceiving.

He turned to her. "Hello, luv."

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine and yourself?"

"Good," she said slowly. "William, about last—"

"Spike," he jumped in, correcting her.

"Excuse me?"

"It's Spike, remember?"

She stared at him, studying him closely. His posture was different. He
wasn't slouched anymore. He stood tall and proud and when he walked, he
more swaggered and strolled rather than shuffling his feet.

"What happened with Drusilla last night?" Buffy asked, afraid to hear the
answer.

William smiled broadly, "We had a good time."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Nope," William chirped and poured some milk. "What about you? What did you do? Want some milk?"

"Uh, I . . . yeah to the milk. I hung out with Willow."

"What did you birds do?"

To lie or not to lie, that is the question.

"Not much. Just hung out. Where'd you go last night?"

William turned to her, smirking. "It's killing you isn't it?"

"What is?"

"Not knowing what I was doing."

"William, did you have sex with her?"

His smirk fell. "It's Spike. Why are you having such a hard time with that?"

"Because I don't like it. It's not you. You're William. I'm not going to call
you some moniker that lunatic came up with."

"She's not a lunatic."

"Right. And monkeys might fly out of my ass."

"Such a cute ass it is too."

Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped. "All right. What the hell is with
this multiple personality disorder you've suddenly developed? You going to
tell your parents to start calling you ‘Spike' now too?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Because it's DUMB. William, what's going on? Why can't you talk to me?"

He stared at her, his eyes pained. "You don't see me. Not yet."

"I do see you."

"No, you see stupid, dependable, pushover William. You see the lap dog
that follows you and does your bidding. You don't see ME."

"You're not my lap dog—"

"You're right. I'm not. Not anymore," and he placed his cup in the sink and
strolled quickly into his bedroom, shutting the door.

Buffy stood there, trying not to well up in tears. "You're my best friend,"
Buffy whispered. "And I feel like I've lost you."



********************************************************************************************

Spike stood in front of the mirror, staring at himself. Dru had told him last night that it wasn't enough to make changes on the inside, but you had to also do it on the outside so people would take you more seriously.

She'd done wonders for him last night. She'd thrust him out in the world
and shown him what treasures awaited if he just let the man within loose. It
was the man that he wanted to be for Buffy, but never felt he could for
some reason. Dru told him last night that he could. She'd told him to walk as
if he owned the world, to talk as if what he said was important. He
remembered Buffy always telling him to speak up, always telling him to
hold his head high. Or, she warned him, the bullies of the world like Riley
Finn would think it was their right and duty to shove him in lockers.

It was amazing how with a few simple changes in walk and talk, he felt like
a completely different man. Especially when Dru had followed like a groupie
and wrapped herself around him on the dance floor, daring women with her
eyes to take her on for his attention.

He'd reveled in it. Women had gawked at him, leered, winked and stared
suggestively at him. AT HIM. He wanted Buffy to be there to see it. He
wanted her to know what it felt like to watch someone linger around her
with the intent to paw and claim ownership.

"You see, my Spike how they flock to you? How they want you? You shine,
my sweet."

He'd asked her what she wanted with him and she only smiled in answer.
He let it go. He'd find out sooner or later, he was sure. In the meantime, the
best thing he could do was hold on for the ride and let her work her magic.
Then Buffy would see him. She'd see the man he wanted to be, she'd see
the man inside and not the boy any longer. Then he'd have the right to
linger around her and claim her as his for all the world to see. He just
wished she'd stop fighting the transformation and accept it. Time, Dru had
said, give them all time.



******************************************************************************************



Buffy spent the day away from the apartment. It wasn't right that she felt
comfortable in the place she was supposed to now call home. She figured it
would be more like home if the person she was living with wasn't a stranger
to her anymore. Settling herself down in front of the fountain in the center
of the mall, she stared at the glistening copper coins at the bottom and
dipped her hand in, rippling the water that much more.

Okay, so William wanted to change himself. Fine. So he wanted to feel like
a man – But, wasn't he a man already? He certainly had the body of man,
the intellect of a man. What was it he exactly wanted to change? If he
wanted to come out of his shell more, she was all for it. She'd figured
moving out would help that in time. She thought a new life, a new path, and
William would come into his own. So, did this Drusilla rate? What was it
about her that designated her to be the special one to bring William out of
his shell? And why didn't William feel he could discuss any of it with her? It
hurt. She was supposed to be his best friend and all they'd done since that
stupid bitch had come into the picture was argue.

"Buffy Summers?"

Buffy's head jerked up to see "Riley?"

"It is you. How are you?" Riley hadn't changed much at all. His hair was
shorter, his build a tad bigger, but still the same Riley.

Buffy slid off the bench and stood. "It's good to see you. What have you
been up to?"

He beamed at her, "Well, I went to boot camp after high school for the
Coast Guard and then I decided to go to school in California. I decided I
missed home and came here to get a job."

"What do you do?"

"I'm a journalist."

"How exciting! So your parents are still here, right?"

"Yep, they are. Part of the reason I came back."

"I get that," Buffy said wistfully.

"What have you been up to?"

"Oh, little bit of this, little bit of that."

Riley grinned. "That's the Buffy I remember. Always so secretive."

Buffy smiled, "I don't mean to be."

"This is a shot in the dark, but would you want to get together some time?
Are you still friends with William?"

Buffy's smile fell a bit, "We are. We moved in together."

Riley nodded. "Oh really? Are you and he . . . ?"

"No. Not at all. Uh, sure, I'd like to get together sometime. Let me give you
my number."



*****************************************************************************************

"Do you like it sir?" the hair dresser asked as she spun William to the mirror. His straggly brown locks were gone. All gone. At his request, they'd clipped them away and cut his hair short. Then, they'd dyed it to a platinum blond. Currently, it was drying freely on top of his head and he could see the evidence of his unruly curly hair on top of his head. He studied himself. Gel, he was going to get some gel to tame that curl. The transformation though, was amazing. He didn't look the same at all. He smiled broadly and wondered what Buffy was going to think of it.

"I bloody love it," Spike said to his reflection.





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