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Author's Chapter Notes:
This is a re-post for this fiction. I lost this chapter when the site went down some time ago and need to repost.
The next and most likely chapter 'Family Trials' will follow immediately.
Thanks, spuf
JUSTICE FOR ALL


Episode 7: ‘Must Love Dogs’


Summary: Judge Buffy presides over a special canine case. She later puts in a call to her OB/GYN.

A/N: I have maybe another three or so episodes in me for this fiction. I hope you readers enjoy my court TV parody, Buffy style that is.



“This is Johnathan Levy, outside of the Sunnydale Courthouse. We have an interesting, rather unusual canine case today. It’s not the regular ‘dog vs. human’ case, or an errant Pit Bull that’s bitten another pup. This case is about a Schnauzer dog, nearly a year old; that was purchased at Sunnydale Pet Store.”

Johnathan really hammed it up this time, for the cameras. The amicable, well-liked short fellow knew what side his bread was buttered on and this TV program was it!

“This special ‘pet’ that the plaintiff purchased nearly a year ago, has a particularly unusual medical problem. The plaintiff, Miss Harmony Kendall, is suing the owner of Sunnydale Pet Store, Mr. Robin Wood, for the monies she paid in good faith for her Schnauzer. Let’s go inside, to the courtroom now and join Judge Buffy Summers in the caser of:

‘The Prostrate Problemic Pooch’


Gunn strode up to the Buffy’s bench and handed the written docket to her.

“All rise,” Gunn droned on, “the Honorable Judge Elizabeth Summers-Giles in session.”

Buffy hurried into the courtroom and sat down at her bench. Gunn motioned for the courtroom audience to sit.

“The plaintiff, defendant and the witnesses have all been sworn in your Honor,” Gunn stated stoically.

“Miss Kendall,” Buffy began without looking up at the plaintiff. “You claim that you bought a Schnauzer pup, approximately ten months or so ago? From Mr. Robin Wood, the defendant, owner of Sunnydale Pet Store?”

“Yes Judge Buffy,” Harmony Kendall replied.

‘Oh, dear God,’ Buffy sighed inwardly, ‘is this bimbette actually chewing gum? In my courtroom? On national TV?’

“Is this the dog?” Buffy eyed the good looking young Schnauzer that Miss Kendall had brought to the courtroom. In a dog carrier no less and one that the poor pup barely fit in to.

“It’s him,” the Kendall woman spat, almost indifferently. “I had to put him in the carrier. I didn’t want the little brat to poop on your floor and…”

“That’s enough Miss Kendall,” Buffy hissed impatiently. “Let’s just get to the source of your suit, shall we? You claim that you bought this dog, what is his name?”

“Dawg,” Harmony Kendall sighed as she snapped her gum again.

This seemed to irritate Buffy beyond control, but she pushed her anger down and asked the plaintiff again: “What is the dog’s name?”

“Dawg,” Harmony Kendall repeated with another snap of her gum. “I named him ‘Dawg’ as in rapper talk,” she giggled, flipping her bleached blond hair behind her shoulder.

“How charming,” Buffy mumbled sarcastically in reply. “And so original, eh?”

“I wanted the dog for a breeder,” the blond, ditzy plaintiff grunted. “When I paid $600.00 dollars for the little mutt I thought I could breed him. I could have made a fortune if the dog hadn’t of been defective.” Miss Kendall rolled her eyes and then glared at the defendant, accusingly.

“From what I read here,” Buffy mumbled as she scanned the paperwork before her, “this ‘Dawg’ as it were? It turned out that after you had purchased him, you discovered, through your vegetarian, that the poor thing has a medical problem? Is this genetic?”

“His right ball might not drop,” Harmony spat in disgust. “His left one dropped, just great, but his right? There’s something defective about him and it might not drop at all. How am I supposed to breed a second-rate mutt like this? Whose balls don’t drop right?”

Buffy rolled her own green eyes and shot a look at Gunn. The bailiff looked back at her with sympathy.

“You mean testicles, don’t you Miss Kendall?” Buffy asked through a clenched jaw and gritted teeth.

“No, not testisycles,” the goofy blond whined in her nasally voice. “Balls! I wouldn’t have to breed any dog, for money that is. If Daddy hadn’t of cut off my accounts and told me to get a real job!”

This Harmony Kendall’s constant whine was really getting on Buffy’s last nerve.

“Miss Kendall,” Buffy sighed in exasperation, “I’m really not interested in your Daddy’s bank accounts, or yours. As far as a job goes? It might do you some good.”

“Hmph,” Harmony grunted in distaste. “Girls that look like me don’t work Judge Buffy,” she spat matter-of-factly. “They make it on beauty, poise and charm. That and a rich daddy, or a boyfriend, or a husband and…”

“I see,” Buffy muttered with a disgusted snort. “Let’s see the medical vet report,” the judge ordered as she held out her hand to the plaintiff. Gunn sauntered over to Harmony’s podium and yanked the paperwork from the ditzy blond’s hand.

After Buffy scanned the extensive medical paper, she glanced over at the defendant, Robin Wood.

“Mr. Wood,” Buffy began politely, “you own and manage the Sunnydale Pet Store?”

“Yes your Honor,” Robin Wood replied stoically.

“Did you have any idea, when you sold Miss Kendall this dog, that he was ‘indisposed’ as it were?”

The courtroom tittered with nervous laughter and Buffy felt the need to shush them all.

“No your Honor,” Robin Wood replied, honestly. “I run a pet shop, Judge Summers. I sell dogs, cats, rabbits and birds as pets to what I perceive as loving, good homes. I had no idea that Miss Kendall wished to breed the dog in question and…”

“Did you have any prior knowledge of the Schnauzer’s condition Mr. Wood?” Buffy was fast losing patience in this matter.

“Not at all,” Wood replied sincerely. “I told Miss Kendall, when she alerted me to the problem, about three months ago? I told her to either return the dog to me, for a full refund. Or, get a second opinion and go ahead and have the surgery the pup might need.”

“What surgery?” Buffy groaned in frustration.

“To have the dog completely neutered your Honor,” the defendant replied with a knowing nod. “If the dog is completely neutered, then it doesn’t matter that his left testicle dropped. The vet doing the surgery would remove both testicles and the dog could live a full, healthy life as a pet. It was my understanding that this is what Miss Kendall wanted. At the time she purchased the animal. A happy, loving pet for herself.”

“Miss Kendall?” Buffy eyed the cute, but obviously ‘out there’ blond suspiciously.

“I want a dog that can make me fast money,” the ditzy plaintiff pouted like a child. “What the hell good is a stupid, useless dog to me?”

Everyone in the courtroom seemed to take a deep breath and hold it. Waiting for the wrath of the judge, no doubt, to be meted out to this cold, self-centered bitch of a plaintiff.

“Miss Kendall,” Buffy muttered softly, “in the near year you have had ‘Dawg’ have you formed any kind of bond of affection or attachment to the animal?”

“Not really,” Harmony replied quickly with an indifferent shrug. “Dawg was supposed to be a money maker, not a pet of any kind. I want my fucking money back!” The blond glared at poor Robin Wood, her eyes shooting daggers at the pet shop owner.

“Miss Kendall! I will not have that kind of language in my courtroom!” Buffy hissed at the unlikable plaintiff. “Miss Kendall,” the judge sighed in total frustration, “do you not understand the unconditional love that a pet can provide to its owner? The dedication and…”

“I told Miss Kendall to have the surgery done for the poor thing,” Wood interjected sincerely. “If nothing else, it would give the poor animal some relief and…”

“Enough,” Buffy stated firmly. “I need to ask just a few more questions, and then I will make my ruling.”

“Miss Kendall,” Buffy began slowly, making sure that the somewhat ‘IQ’ challenged woman understood what she was trying to convey. “If I have your monies returned to you, upon your returning the adorable dog here? Do you know, or even care what might happen to the animal?”

“Not really,” Harmony spat. “Frankly,” the selfish young woman continued, “I could care less what happens to the mutt.”

“I thought as much,” Buffy grumbled. ‘You blood self-centered, blood sucking vampire.’

“Mr. Wood,” she looked over at the mortified store keeper. “If Miss Kendall returns the dog to you, what will happen to it?”

“I know I could find this wonderful dog a fine, loving home your Honor,” Wood beamed at the caged animal.

Buffy gazed at the cute little pooch, all locked up in that cage that was barely big enough for him to fit in. She sat, quietly, for a few moments then suddenly blurted:

“You’re right Mr. Wood. I’ll be happy to help you find that dog a loving home. With my family. I have three children that would just love to have a beautiful little dog like that to love!

Miss Kendall claims she is owed $600.00 for the return of the dog and I will pay you that Mr. Wood. For your trouble and care for the darling little beast.”

The entire courtroom began to whistle and cheer when Buffy announced that ‘she’ would be purchasing the dog from Mr. Wood. In turn, he could give the troublesome Miss Kendall back her money.

“Hmph, who cares,” Harmony spat. “As long as I get my money back.”

Buffy turned a cold eye on the plaintiff and ordered the courtroom to quiet down.

“Yes, Miss Kendall,” Buffy drawled sweetly. “I am ruling in your favor, for $600.00. However, there is a stipulation on this ruling.”

“A stipulation?” Harmony asked nervously.

“I am ordering you, Miss Kendall, to donate at least 50 percent of the monies ruled in your favor to the local Humane Society, or the Sunnydale pound. If you do not donate the ordered percentage of your money? I will rescind the order and you will receive nothing for your effort. It’s your choice, completely,” Buffy added smugly.

“What! This is bullshit!” Harmony squealed like the selfish pig she truly was. “I don’t have to…”

“You do, and you will,” Buffy snapped as she slammed her gavel down on the desk before her. “In fact, keep up your tirade and I’ll order you to donate 60 or 70 percent of the ruling to the above mentioned charities!”

The entire courtroom broke into applause and loud cheers when Buffy had finished.

“This is total crap!” Harmony Kendall grumbled as she turned to flounce out of the courtroom.

“Thank you, your Honor,” Robin Wood said with a huge grin. “You are a good, decent person.”



“Gunn,” Buffy called to her bailiff, “please escort the plaintiff out of the courtroom and to her car.”

“Yes Maam,” Gunn replied, trying not to laugh outright.

Buffy strode into her inner quarters and flopped down on her ergo chair. She leaned back in the chair and cursed the very thought of frivolous law suits and…

“Buffy?” Gunn called to his boss. “Mr. Wood is here, with the dog.”

“Thanks Gunn,” Buffy mumbled in reply. “Have you ever seen such a selfish, cold-hearted bitch like that plaintiff?” She eyed Gunn, expectantly.

“Maybe,” the bailiff responded carefully. “My girlfriend, Winnefred? She can be pretty selfish if need be.”

“Sorry,” Buffy mumbled sheepishly.

“No problem,” Gunn laughed.

After Robin Wood had deposited the Schnauzer with Buffy, she sat on her chair; pup in lap and pet him, lovingly.

“Well pup,” Buffy sighed, “I guess we’d better go see Will and try to explain ‘you’ to him. I’m sure he’ll be fine with you. For all of his ‘grr ahhg’ exterior? My hubby is a real marshmallow inside.”

Before she left her chambers, Buffy picked up the phone and dialed her OB/GYN. Doctor Simmons picked up his line and spoke with his favorite patient, immediately.

Spike sat at his desk, scanning the papers in front of him. He truly hated doing his work at the office. The truth was; he much preferred working at home, in his office there. His children provided pleasant distractions for him and Spike relished his break time with them. When Buffy popped home, early from filming, Spike’s day was complete.

When his office door flung open, Spike was stunned. Then he saw it was Buffy and he broke out in wide, happy grin.

“What brings you here?” Spike asked happily. “And what the bloody hell is that?” He stared at the long nosed little furry animal that followed behind his Buffy.

“This is a Schnauzer dog,” Buffy said proudly. “I bought him today, during the show!”

“You bought a dog, during your show?” Spike asked in disbelief.

“Yup!” Buffy replied merrily. “Poor little thing was a focal point in a case and…”

“Never mind,” Spike sighed. He smiled at his beautiful wife anyway. God, he loved Buffy so much.

“The kids’ll love him,” he stated as he bent to pet the odd looking dog on his furry head.

“That they will,” Buffy giggled gleefully.

“What’s his name,” Spike asked warily as he eyed the perky pup.

“I don’t know, really,” Buffy scowled. “I thought we might name him Mr. Gordo?”

“After your little stuffed piggy?” Spike chuckled merrily.

“Yeah,” Buffy replied a little defensively. “He’s got Gordo’s snout. Don’t you think?”

“Yeah, he does,” Spike had to admit that much.

Mr. Gordo merely wagged his tail and tried to lick Spike’s left shoe.

“Ugly little mutt, eh?” Spike said thoughtfully as he scratched Gordo’s head.

“He’s adorable!” Buffy cried in a reproachful tone.

“Okay, he’s a little cute,” Spike admitted reluctantly.

“Will,” Buffy stammered in a hushed voice. “I called Dr. Simmons today, after the filming. I told him about the false alarm and all.”

Spike looked up from the ugly little dog and gazed into his Buffy’s beautiful green eyes. “Yeah?” he stated more then asked.

“The doctor thinks that I might be able to get pregnant again and carry the baby to full term. Safely that is. If I go in for some pre-tests and check out the anemia and all. He thinks that I could do it, that we could have another healthy baby. That is if everything checks out and we watch the pregnancy and…”

“Then let’s do it,” Spike murmured in an awe-like voice. He stood up and took his wife into his arms and just held her close to him.

“If it’s what you want Princess,” he whispered into her soft, golden hair, lovingly. “Then let’s go get these tests for you and make another baby. I want it, if you do that is, sweetheart.”

“Okay,” Buffy replied in her soft, warm voice that Spike loved so much.

“Love you,” Spike murmured happily.

“Love you,” Buffy replied with great contentment.

Mr. Gordo just nipped at both of their heels. The now happy pup was oblivious to the concerns and worries of his new owners. Silly humans that they were.


A/N: I had to do this episode. This was actually a case on one of the court shows and I was just floored! You should have seen the judge’s reaction to the plaintiff. He was mortified by her heartlessness.

Thanks for reading and please review if you like, spuf.





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