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Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry for the delay. The other installments are coming;)
6. Who are you?

“Detective Kate Lockley” said the grey-haired man sitting behind the elegant desk. “She is a real pain in the ass. We have to remove her and close the wound”.
He had gentle blue eyes and he smiled often. Even a not very careful observer could see that about Holland Manners.
But after a second and more precise examination, it was all too evident that his good manners were fake. The polite mask of a snake ready to bite . And he too was full of poison. And indeed, he had not become CEO of Wolfram & Hart due to his good qualities. The worst ones had been fundamental to his promotion.
And the two co-partners standing in front of him, in his wide and sunny office, probably had the same career path.
“Should I arrange an accident? A helpful and providential shooting?” Lindsey Mac Donald asked. “Or should we initiate legal proceedings?”
Holland looked at him, delighted. Lindsey was always so willing…a tomcat who wanted to be the pack leader. But he still had to grow.
“Mhm…no, for the moment I would avoid drastic solutions…she’s a rational girl, our blameless Kate…I’m curious to see how she will deal with something completely illogical…let’s scare her, play with her” Holland turned the pen in his hands. “Send Darla”
Hearing that name, Lindsey’s dark blue eyes changed their colour. “Of course. It will be done immediately” and with a nod he left the office, already stressed by the prospect of meeting with the vampire who used to trouble his days and nights.
“You forgot to mention that Kate Lockley is dating Angelus” Lilah Morgan stated. She was tall, dark haired: a real beauty, with an angular, feline face that revealed her dirty sensuality. She really had class.
Manners smiled at her. “No, I didn’t forget. I just left it out…”
Lilah crossed the office and gently sat down on a corner of Manners’ desk, crossing her long legs. “Kate Lockley is just an excuse…you want Darla to meet Angelus”
“Good. You’re smart” Holland replied, delighted. “A quality that Lindsey has lost, due to the teenage crush he has on our pluri-centennial partner…Darla doesn’t know Angelus lives here, and I really want her to discover that…” he shook his shoulders. “And if in the meantime she can kill that annoying policewoman, well…tant mieux. We will get the classical and evergreen two birds with one stone”
“Sir, what do we want from the two souled vampires?” Lilah asked, closing her catlike eyes. “I personally took care of Angelus, and I also sent some guys to Sunnydale to watch over William the Bloody…but I still don’t understand why…”
“What do we want? We don’t want, we watch, wait and evaluate. And we try to guarantee a place in the front row for us for each consequence. We thrive on chaos. And this, thanks to human nature, is a common prerogative for both Good and Evil. So we sit in the middle, ready to catch every opportunity” Holland stared at her. “Angelus and William the Bloody are two fundamental pawns in the game of cosmic balance. They can determine the victory of Good and the defeat of Evil, or vice-versa. We can’t impose on them what side of the field to choose, obviously…”
“But we can show them the right path…” Lilah ended. “Do you believe that meeting Darla will worry Angelus? Are we sure? He has a soul now…”
“And so?” Holland smiled, swaying in his leather chair. “So do we…”
Lilah knitted her eyebrows, pursing her lips “Have we, Sir?”


Going down the stairs, Angel saw Cordelia’s rear sticking out from under one of the hall sofas.
“Lost something?” he asked.
She stood up, her jogging suit covered with spider-webs. “This is the kingdom of dust…No, I’m wrong. Down here is the seed of dust. Generations and generations of dust. And you…” She pointed at him with her finger. “You don’t help at all! I begged you not to eat in bed. It was so difficult to clean that peanut butter off your sheets”
“I don’t eat. Especially in bed” Angel replied. “It’s surely Spike’s fault, from last time he stayed here…ah, about Spike, his mission to Pylea was…”
Cordelia wanted nothing of that, interrupting him. “Yeah, yeah right…And by the way, you don’t have to tell me what you do with peanut butter…” she widened her eyes. “To be honest, I don’t wanna know anything about it!”
Angel clenched his fists, putting them in his pockets. Ok. He refused. It was impossible to win some battles.
“I’m going out”
“With Kate?” Cordelia turned, suddenly serious. “Do you want to talk to her?”
He bent his head, looking at his shoes. “I have to”
She was immediately close to him, a hand on his arm. “Hey…everything’s gonna be alright. She seemed smart. She will understand”
And if she doesn’t, she thought, looking at his perfect profile, well…fuck her!
Angel looked at her, doubtful. “Do you believe that?”
She smiled, leaving a dusty mark on his sleeve. “I’m Queen C, darling. I don’t believe. I know!”




“Do you have an appointment with him?”
Lily had finished her shift, but, for God’s sake, this fabulous guy who could melt her stoic friend was begging to be seen!
Kate nodded, tempted to bite her nails. God, she hadn’t done that for ten years…luckily she had never smoked…
She made a nervous gesture with her head. “You know, under my jacket I have my badge and my gun, and near here is the Police Department…Even if I wanted I couldn’t hide it from him now…and the time has come to tell him the truth” She sighed. “A relationship based on lies can’t last …”
Kate shut up when she heard the doorbell ringing, and Lily followed her glance, curious.
At the entrance a man was standing. A young man. Young and attractive. No, not attractive…Handsome. He was surrounded by the deepest dark, and dark were his clothes and eyes. He looked like he was wearing the night. A clouded night with no stars…
“Darling…” Lily stated. “I admit I haven’t known many veterinarians in my life, but I assure you they weren’t…like this!”
Angel stood for a moment, hesitating. Kate was not alone and that woman built like a wardrobe with the home permanent was staring at him like he was a pastry…but Kate…she looked fantastic, in jeans and a jacket, the long blonde hair on her shoulders shining under the lights…I would gladly make love with her until dawn comes, he thought. But…
He had a bad premonition. A sad, bitter, gloomy premonition tingling at the nape of his neck. And he was Irish: His people never took one of these feelings for granted.
He waited till the huge woman went away and then he came closer to Kate, sitting down in front of her.
Silence grew around them, like a clashing of emotions.
“Hi”
“Hi”
“I…”
“I…”
His right hand and her left touched spontaneously, in the middle of the table, and they twined fingers. With her thumb Kate caressed the smooth surface of the Claddagh. “I like this ring…I’ve always liked it from the beginning” she bit her lip. “Better, I’ve liked you since the beginning. Angel…”
“Kate…I’ve got to tell you something”
“Me too, I have to tell you the truth”
Truth. Here it comes, the magic word.
The sword of Damocles.
Angel took Kate’s hands. Touched her. He had to touch her now. To taste again her fresh skin for a moment. Because the feeling he had didn’t leave him, whispering in his ear that was the last time he could touch her.
“Angel?” She looked worried now. “The thing you have to say…is it very bad?”
He beckoned with a finger. “Kiss me. First, kiss me”
They stretched over the table and it was an uncomfortable kiss. Delicious.
And, to Angel, it felt like a stolen one. On the razor-edge of never. The edge he had walked for centuries, in a magic, selfish balancing act.
Kate hesitated against his mouth. No, she wasn’t worried, not at all…Not when kissing him was making her feel so good, at peace. Everything could be fixed and sorted. Everything.
She noticed that Lily was staring at them, glowing. God, how could she have invited him to such an indiscreet place?
“Let’s go” she said. “It’s too crowded in here”
Holding him by the hand, she led him out and when they were on the street, she kissed him again, holding him tight this time. He let her do that, surrendering to her naivety, full of hope.
“My car is parked in that alley. We could…” she said.
“In the car?” Angel moved away. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”
“Don’t be nervous” she laughed, amused by his embarrassment. “I won’t rape you…if you don’t want me to…”
Oh God…she was provoking him…and she was succeeding.
They kissed again and walked towards the car. “Talk…we have to talk…” he stuttered, his lips on hers.
“Yeah, sure, in the car…” And they laughed, like lovers do, avoiding thinking.
Or trying to, at least.
A sweet, wasted, useless try…
It happened in a second, and Angel paused to listen.
Something was different around them.
Danger. They were surrounded by danger.
And it wasn’t human.

“Kate, jump in the car and drive away. As fast as you can”
She looked at him, amazed. Angel was a bunch of tensed muscles ready to jump, and his dark eyes were looking everywhere in the dark alley. “I don’t understand…What’s up?”
And then she saw them. There were four, apparently insignificant, coming from nowhere. And with clear intentions.
Kate’s reaction was sudden and professional; her hand grasped the gun under her jacket. “Guys, this is not the right evening…” she ordered in her usual authoritative tone.
Angel knitted his brow.
“Are you a cop?”
“Uhm…yes” she answered staring at the men. “This was the thing I had to tell you….” she looked at him. “It’s…is it a problem?”
He caressed her hip, a reassuring gesture. “No…of course not…” he whispered. He didn’t know if it was better to laugh or cry…crazy things…he had been tormenting himself for days and days about revealing to her his demon nature and Kate was scared that her job could be a problem…two hundred and fifty years and he still couldn’t understand women.
In the meantime the four men came closer.
“The gun won’t work…” Angel whispered.
Kate had taken it out and now she was pointing it at the four, with an iron glance. “In this place it does. Really.”
“In my places it doesn’t…”he mumbled, getting ready for the fight.
Then, in the silence full of stress, applause.
A malicious laugh.
And in the air, a special scent. A rose-scented cologne, hand made for decades in one shop in Paris.
Oh, no…
He had hoped, prayed that in that immense city their ways would never cross…that she had gone somewhere else…
Yes, but a vampire has no right at all to pray or hope…
Angel turned around. “Darla…”
There she was. Black leather and red silk. No underwear. And her incomparable predator eyes that were literally devouring him. “Angelus? Is that really you? What a surprise…!”
Darla had also smelled his scent, that peculiar musky scent mixed with other mysterious fragrances that belonged only to her gorgeous childe. And, in the end, after nights and nights of wet dreams and repressed anger she had turned on to Lindsey and Dru, after thousands of good resolutions to forget him and change her life…she had found him again.
With another girl.
An insipid porcelain doll…who had had him inside her. Hell, she smelled that.
Unbearable.
Her high heels ticked on the ground. “Hi love…so? No kiss?”
Kate pointed the gun with more decision. “Do you know her?” she asked him, softly.
Ignoring her, Angel talked to Darla. “Ok, this is something between me and you. Let the girl go”
“And if not, what will you do? Will you bite me?” she smiled, showing her little white teeth. “My little boy, all you have to do is choose the right point…”
He stood up, showing her how tall he was. “I’m not little. And I’m not yours, either.”
Laughing, Darla looked at Kate with satisfaction. “We’ll see…and, to be honest, I’m here for her”
“You’re from Wolfram & Hart…”
“Wolfram & Hart?” Kate stated, putting down the gun. “What’s this? An intimidation act? With a slut and four thugs?” She shook her head. “You’re not scaring me…”
Darla, with a single move of the neck, turned. “Sure?”
Ah-ah…touché. The super cop had no words, white as snow.
Enough. She had lost too much time already. She touched her and Kate flew across the alley, hitting the wall.
“Kate!” with a fist, Angel knocked Darla yards away and ran to Kate. “Kate! Are you ok?”
She blinked twice, with a wince of pain. “Yes…yes…the gun…I dropped it…”
He took her face in his palms, forcing her to look into his eyes. “Katie…you have to listen to me, now. Do you trust me? Do you trust me, Katie?”
“Yes…I trust you, Angel…”
“Forget the gun, then” He took out a stake from a slit in his boot, hidden by the trouser leg. “Use this”
“What’s that?”
“It doesn’t matter. Push it into the heart”
Kate weighed the tool, confused, while somebody attacked Angel from the back.
“Katie. Straight to the heart!” he shouted, then Darla was on him, throwing him on the floor, straddling him.
“You hurt me!” she reproached him, licking the blood on her fangs. “Mmm… I liked it…”
“Do you like it rough?” Angel took her by the throat, twisted her body and kicked her in the stomach, crashing away between the trash cans. “You’ve just got to ask, darling!”
Still groggy, Kate was trying to order her thoughts. The face of that woman…she couldn’t see anything else…it was sharp, neat, fathomless….and the four men…two of them were attacking her. And they too had long, sharp fangs, monstrous faces, yellow eyes…one of them jumped. The gun!
Where had the gun ended up? Where?
Her reflexes, sharpened through the long years at the Academy and her long working career, were more efficient than reason and panic: her arm lifted, the stake was in her aggressor’s chest. A shout. And then ashes, ashes that blinded her and made her cough.
Ashes.
Then she saw the second monster, his terrifying fangs next to her neck. Again with the horror, with irrational denial playing with her mind. Again instinct, and the stake to guide her through darkness and save her.
Devastated, tears running down her dirty cheeks, Kate tried to stand and fell again on her knees, discomfited by her spinning head. Maybe she had a broken rib. Dazzled, she saw Angel eliminating the third …being…and starting over with the blonde female.
Fighting?
Yes, that was the right word. They exchanged blows, sending the other flying powerfully, breaking walls. The female growled, like a beast.
No…the growling doubled…she stared at Angel, in disbelief.
His face had changed, too.
He looked at her, in a heartbeat. So different, but still recognizable, his feral eyes full of…regret?
She couldn’t quite understand it, because something inconceivable happened: with a powerful jump the blonde vanished to the building’s roof.
And Angel followed her.

“Let me guess” Darla hinted with a devilish grin, provocatively swaying her hips in and out between the maze of dishes and antennas on the roof. “Little Red Riding Hood didn’t know she was making out with the Wolf, uh?”
Angel didn’t reply, approaching, dark, boiling with rage. At his most beautiful.
Yes, beautiful, the female vampire thought, his fury always becomes him. Nobody knows that better than I. “Soul or no soul, you’re always the same liar and deceiver I created…”She insisted, letting him come closer. “My boy still exists…”
His push came unexpectedly. Darla almost didn’t notice it. Bewildered, she glanced down at the antenna pole protruding from her stomach.
“I’ve never ceased to exist” Angel hissed, twisting the pole.
Darla spat blood and reverted to her human face, her gaze foggy. “Angelus? What’s happening?” She whispered in a thin, naïve tone. “Are you killing me, love?”
He stared at her, dazed by her beauty and by the unforgettable memory of their common past.
Just a moment of dizziness, nothing more.
It was enough.
The fourth vampire caught him off guard with a crossbar, and threw him down from the roof.
Fuck!
He hated falling.
He landed on his stomach and for a while sounds and lights were muffled in a shrill pain. He shook his head, the blood running in rivulets over his forehead and eyes.
Darla…bloody, damned Darla. It was so simple to deny her when he was soulless. Why in the world did he feel so powerless now?
He noticed Kate, leaning against her car. Dirty with ash, her arms crossed, her face shocked.
“Katie? Are you hurt?”
She jumped out of her skin. “I found my gun ….”she frowned. “What were they?”
Angel swallowed. “Vampires”
“Vampires…? You mean…like Dracula?”
“More or less. But we don’t have anything romantic about us”
“We?” Kate studied him. She stared at his face, now normal.
“You have seen my true face” he said, knowing her train of thought. “You saw me fighting. I’m a vampire, too”
“And….” The girl opened her mouth, and then closed it. “And that means….what?”
“I’m dead, Katie. I’m more than 200 years old. I fear sunlight, crosses, holy water” He paused. “And I drink blood”
She backed away. Her skin was as white as ice.
“Not human blood” Angel nitpicked.
“No…no…please…wait a minute…”She hadn’t listened to him. Not at all. “Dead? What do you mean you’re dead?”
Her breath caught. “You’re here! You talk to me. We…”she barred her eyes. “We made love!” She was on the brink of a hysterical crisis.
“I don’t breathe” he whispered. “My heart doesn’t beat”
“Yes, it does!” Kate exclaimed. “I heard it! I heard it thumping”
Angel took her hand and put it on his chest. “No, Katie…you heard yours. It beat enough for both…”
Nothing.
“Nothing…” Kate felt like puking. “In your chest there’s nothing…” she pulled her hand back all of a sudden. “Who are you? What are you?”
“Katie…” he didn’t try to hold her, as she jumped into her car and fled.
She fled. From him.
In her eyes, just terror. Shame. Pain.
Alone, the vampire touched his dead heart.
Nothing, yes.
But it hurt, nevertheless.


Suddenly she opened the bedroom door and found them both naked in the tangled sheets.
“Don’t move, honey…stay comfortable…” she muttered to Lindsey, seeing him trying to stand.
Straddling him, Dru was swaying back and forth, pale and disheveled, as if powered by a secret underlying current. She held a hand on his chest, like a caress, but Darla sensed she was holding him still.
The brunette vampire stared at her while she was taking off her jacket, coming closer to them. “Mmmm…you smell like wondrous woods…like musk…”Dru whispered, sucking a finger.
Darla knelt behind her, between Lindsey’s thighs, and captured her small breasts, resting her chin in the curve of her neck. “Yeah…musk…I eventually found your daddy out…our Angelus…” She stared at the young executive, blocked by their bodies, and fed cruelly on his surprised, pissed off expression.
Dru moaned. “Has the Dark Angel landed in the city of Angels?”
“Right” Darla whispered, working on her nipples. “With his great wings and all the rest…”
Those words excited Dru. She moved faster, letting her head fall back, and Lindsey came painfully, jerking against the two vampires’ thighs and then shouting with disappointment when Dru left him abruptly to turn towards her grandsire.
“The Dark Angel is back, then. Will he make us fly again?” she asked, still shaking from her orgasm.
“We’ll have to convince him…” Darla muttered, raising her silken dress and showing off the bloody tear left by the antenna.
Dru’s violet eyes widened. “Did Daddy do …that?”
“Yes, he did. He still excels at penetration…” Darla laughed, as Dru bent to suck her wound clean, in the meanwhile trading cold stares with Lindsey.
He was staring at her with a mixture of repulsion and attraction and his chest, shiny with sweat, heaved. He was vibrating from jealousy and possessiveness, disgust and desire.
He was funny, although oh – so- human. And irritating, sometimes. Intrusive.
“We need to be alone” she informed him. “Get out”
“This is my apartment” he reminded them.
“Sure. And it has lots of rooms” Darla caressed Dru’s hair. “We have important topics to discuss. Family topics.” She smiled at him with a smile as sharp as a knife blade. “You’re not part of it”
Lindsey swallowed, thinning his lips. God, she knew where and how to hit him…he rolled out of bed, naked, without dressing, and went out, banging the door closed.
“Poor little boy…” Dru chanted, raising her mouth dirty with blood. “He’s poisoned by you …and feels better only when I hurt him….” She batted her eyelashes, perplexed. “Why?”
Darla made her lie on her back and traced signs on her breasts with her fingertips. “Because he’s alive, of course. Living people are like that. Hypocrites and masochists. Let’s forget about him…”Her finger dipped into her navel. “We have plans to forge…we have to take back our dark, beautiful, powerful…” she tickled Dru’s stomach with her sharp red nails “…only true black…” and then she buried them in her sex “…angel….”
“….black angel…black angel…” Dru moaned.
From the bathroom, Lindsey heard them laugh and whisper, like monstrous little bad girls.


“You have to go. Now” Angel ordered her, entering the Hyperion’s hall like a fury.
Cordelia almost fell from the ladder, neglecting her new paintings.
“What? Why are you at home at this hour? And…oh!” the ladder swung dangerously, while she turned and noticed the blood on the vampire’s face. “You’re hurt…what the hell…hey!”
He took her by the hips. “Get out of here. I’ll help you to collect your things” Notwithstanding his pissed-off tone, he placed her back on the ground delicately. “Don’t worry. We’ll find a good hotel and I’ll pay the bill”
“Hey, hey!” Cordelia exclaimed, wriggling in his arms. “Get a grip! Tell me what’s happened! Why in the world should I go?”
She saw him gnashing his teeth, trembling with rage. She finally sensed how furious he was. And terrified. Following her instincts, she took him in her arms.
“Angel…please, talk to me” she whispered, with her cheek against his jacket. “What’s up?”
She felt his surrender, and his arms gripping her.
They sat on the stairs. Angel seemed terribly tired. And empty.
“You have to go” he insisted.
“Tell me why”
“Her. She’ll find this place. And she’ll find you. And she’ll hurt you. Because you live here”
“Her who?”
“Darla. My sire” he passed a hand tiredly across his eyes, staining them with blood. “Do you remember the two vampires in the High School Library?”
“How could I forget them?” Cordy replied with a grimace.
“Darla is the blonde…” Angel explained, sheepishly.
I would have bet on it, Cordy thought. “Ok. Now I know who Darla is…but I’m still not getting what…”
“Now she knows I’m in Los Angeles. She’ll be hunting me high and low. Destroying everything on her path”
“To…kill you?”
Angel laughed, bitterly, shaking his head. “To have me back”
“How do you do it?” Cordy was bewildered. “Wherever you go, you end up with a trail of women crazy with desire…”
“Don’t joke. This is not funny” He took her by the shoulders. “Cordy…you don’t know her. And you don’t know me. You don’t know…how I was. You don’t know the depths Darla can drag me to…It’s bad enough she already knows about Kate, and…”
“Just a moment….please. Kate?” Cordelia paled. “Oh my God, Angel…you were with Kate when…”
“Yeah”
“She found out the truth, then…”
“In the worst possible way, too” Angel confirmed.
“And…”
“She didn’t take it well”
“I’m so sorry” Cordelia sighed, sitting next to him. “You were in love with her, weren’t you?”
He smiled, a sad, confused smile. “Is it that easy to fall in love? I’m no expert…I loved just once…”
“Buffy…”
“Yes…Buffy…and …I don’t want to sound cynical but…” he looked at her. “I refuse to accept the idea that was love…or maybe, who knows, the wrong one is me. I’ve always thought so, after all. Maybe I’m not cut out for love, and maybe the soul has nothing to do with it…maybe it’s the heart that counts…and as Kate noticed…here, inside…” he pointed to his chest “There’s nothing”
Cordelia dried an inopportune tear, springing from her eyelashes. Her empathy for somebody who wasn’t her precious little self was an empowering novelty. She wasn’t used to it. To stay like that next to him was so natural…she felt angry towards both Buffy and Kate, and she felt relieved that she hadn’t told Angel about the slayer’s call.
He had enough to deal with without those new doubts.
She touched him delicately on the chest. “You heart isn’t beating, true…but it could break. And if it breaks, it is able to love, as well. It’s a living thing . More alive than a lot of beating hearts”
Angel stared at her for a long moment, in silence, and then he caressed her face with a finger. “I’ll miss you, Cordy…”
She stood. “You won’t miss me. I’m not going anywhere!”
In a split second, the sweet girl who had comforted him had been overtaken by Queen C., her hair loose, her eyes determined and her chin set, her hands on her hips. Angel massaged his brow.
“Yes, you are. I gave you hospitality to help you, not to put you in danger…”
“Now listen to me, you big dumb boy. And listen carefully, too” Cordy shouted. “My parents call me only at Thanksgiving and Christmas. My friends…well, they don’t call at all…Cordelia Chase is like a piece of fake jewelry: you can’t make it shine, it just gets tarnished. Believe me, this is hard to stand…that night, when that demon attacked me, I told myself that was the end of it, and a fitting end too: torn to pieces in the dark, forgotten like trash…then you came. You, the same vampire who two years ago held me by the hand and took me home, notwithstanding your pain and desperation…and you did it again! And again!”
She searched out his dark, attentive eyes. “Don’t you get it, Angel? I fall, you are there. To catch me”
Her rage loosed in a long, intense bout of crying. “Nobody caught me, before…when I was falling…Never…”
She stopped, the blood leaving her cheeks, her legs not supporting her anymore. “Angel…”
A moment, and she fell senseless into the vampire’s strong arms.
“Cordy…what’s wrong?”
Angel made her lie on the sofa and his worried expression got to her heart. “He cares” she thought. “He won’t let me go…”
“See?” she whispered, while the malaise gradually receded. “You caught me…”
“What was that, Cordy?” he insisted.
“Nothing…Usually, it gets better after a bit…”
“Usually?”
“It happens, sometimes…I think it’s stress…”she tried to play it down.
“Mmm….”Angel didn’t seem convinced. “I’d be happier if you see a doctor…”
Cordelia nodded, toying with his shirt collar. “Yes, Sir. I’ll go, but only if you don’t send me away…”
She wrinkled her nose, widening her dark eyes. “You can't abandon me, Angel. You really can’t”
“I’m getting it” Angel nodded, surrendering.
Some battles are lost from the beginning.





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