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Chapter 5 – Once Upon a Time


Present Day


Pacing the length of the hotel suite, Spike glared at the camera crew as they continued to set up for the interview.

“You okay?” Oz asked, leaning against a nearby wall.

“Why do we have to tape the fucking thing at night?” he asked irritably.

“Have some place you’d rather be?”

Hearing the underlying statement in his friend’s voice, Spike stopped pacing, closing his eyes in remorse. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked softly.

“I’m just asking.”

“No,” Spike replied, turning to look at Oz. “I just want to tape the damn segment and get it over with.” Growing more frustrated, he tried not to pace restlessly around the area.

“Eager to get home?” Gunn asked, joining in the conversation.

“Not particularly,” he muttered, taking a deep breath. “Think I just need some fresh air.”

Avoiding the crew that continued to set up the equipment, Spike walked through the doors to the balcony, gripping the railing as he stared out at Los Angeles.

“Getting nervous?”

Turning at the sound of Angel’s voice behind him, Spike glanced at him before directing his gaze back at the lights of the city.

“We’ve done about a million TV spots in the past year, so I’m thinking that’s not it. It’s Buffy, isn’t it?”

“Isn’t it always?” Spike whispered. “By this time tomorrow, I’ll be so close to her…and I won’t be able to see her. The only woman I’ve ever loved…and now I’m nothing to her.”

“You used to put that girl up on a pedestal,” Angel said. “You were her everything.”

“How many times do I have to tell you this, Angelus?” Spike growled. “I didn’t see what I had. Not then, though I sure as hell see it now…and there’s no chance of me ever getting her back. I lost the only woman I’ve ever loved because I was too caught up living the life of a rock star.”

“Come on, man. I know what you did was horrible, but there comes a time when you have to stop torturing yourself about it. Yes, you screwed up. Horribly, maybe irreparably, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try to get her back. It doesn’t mean that she’s forgotten about you or the way she used to feel about you.”

“I can’t take it back,” Spike whispered, watching the lights around him begin to blur as he fought the tears in his eyes. “I can’t take any of it back, no matter how much I want to. I can’t give her anything…not anymore.”

“I remember when you were willing to give her the world,” Angel said softly. “Once upon a time.”

“Once upon a time,” Spike whispered.

* * * * *

3 Years Earlier


Dancing in the arms of her boyfriend, Buffy rested more comfortably against him as they continued to celebrate her birthday.

After conspiring with her mother to make her breakfast in bed early that morning, he had proceeded to wake her up with a kiss, something that she preferred to her clock radio any day of the week.

”Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty,” Spike whispered, brushing a soft kiss along her forehead, smiling when he saw her begin to stir. “Come on, Birthday Girl. You’re got a full day ahead of you.”

Spending the afternoon watching movies and curling up together on the couch, Spike later took her for a walk on the beach to watch the sunset.

”Isn’t this a little feminine for someone with your ‘Big Bad’ persona? I thought you’d want to protect your image,” Buffy said with a grin.

“Not gonna lie and say it’s on my list of favorite things to do…but I knew you’d like it.”

Feeling the butterflies fluttering in her stomach, Buffy couldn’t believe how lucky she was as Spike pulled her against his body, wrapping his duster around both of them. She watched the colors fade away while Spike nuzzled her neck, smiling at the shivers racing through her body.

After leaving the beach, Spike took her to the Bronze for a surprise party with all of their friends, holding her hand while everyone sang happy birthday to her.

”Come on, Spike. Wear a hat,” Xander said, throwing the party hat in Spike’s lap.

“For the last time, not wearing a hat, whelp.”

“Oz and Gunn are wearing them.”

“Oz and Gunn are whipped by their girlfriends,” Spike replied in a bored tone.

“And you’re not?” he asked skeptically.

Looking over just in time to see Buffy laugh at something Willow said, Spike smiled as he watched his girlfriend. She was happier than he had ever seen her…and he’d caused that.

“Give me the soddin’ hat, Harris.”

After the obligatory cake, ice cream, and presents, Spike had whisked her away to his apartment for some much needed alone time.

Walking into his bedroom later that night, Buffy had been shocked to see the dozens of candles on every flat surface and the stereo playing a soft, romantic song. Spike had enveloped her in his arms, and the two were now lost in each other’s eyes as they swayed to the music. Leaning down and kissing her softly, he slowly tightened his hands around her waist. Leaning back, Buffy looked up into his eyes, trying to suppress the urge to bite her lip as she met his unwavering gaze.

“Spike,” she whispered. “All of this…”

“Wasn’t designed for anything,” he said before she could continue. “Just wanted to make your birthday special.”

“It was,” she said softly, feeling his body tighten when she pressed herself more firmly against him. “And I know a way to make it more special.”

“You sure?” he asked in disbelief.

“It’s been six months,” she whispered.

“I can wait, Buffy,” he murmured, his lips getting closer to hers. “I can wait as long as you need…I just wanted to give you a good night.”

“You did,” she said with a soft smile. “And I know we don’t have to do this…but I want you.”

Not giving him a chance to say anything else, Buffy pulled him down for a tender kiss. Wrapping his arms more firmly around him, Spike tried to retain some semblance of control when she pulled away from him, inadvertently pushing her body against his.

Taking a deep breath, she took his hand in hers, leading him over to the bed.

“This wasn’t some elaborate plan to get you into my bed, love. I just wanted to-”

“Spike, I know…but that doesn’t mean that there can’t be a change in plans.”

With shaky movements, Spike slowly began unbuttoning his shirt, his breath catching in his throat when Buffy’s hands slipped beneath the material, pushing it away from his shoulders. Meeting her lips in a tender kiss, his hands wandered to the back of her dress, quickly finding the zipper. Gently tugging at it until he felt the dress begin to fall from her body, the dress pooled on the floor, leaving Spike to stare at Buffy in wonderment as he was overcome with how beautiful she was.

Wearing a black lace bra and matching panties, his painful erection instantly grew even larger as he took in how exquisite she was. The innocence that seemed to radiate from her also seemed to give off a sexuality that she didn’t even seem to be aware of.

Hesitantly reaching out, his hands ran over the soft skin of her stomach, and after lowering his lips to her neck, he quickly found the clasp of her bra. Discarding it to the growing pile of clothes on the floor, Spike cupped his hands around her firm breasts, massaging them gently.

Moaning as he continued his ministrations, Buffy pulled him down to the bed, trying to get closer to him.

“Spike, please,” she whispered, her voice muffled against his lips.

“Shhh, baby,” he murmured, trailing kisses along the column of her neck. “I’m gonna make it perfect for you.”

Becoming mindless with need, Buffy didn’t respond, arching against him as his mouth found one of her nipples, rolling his tongue around it before gently biting down.

Threading her fingers through his hair, she moaned as his other hand tweaked the nipple that was being overlooked, moving at such a slow pace, Buffy briefly wondered if she should try and regain some control. Abandoning the idea as soon as she thought of it when his movements increased, sending her gasping for air.

Kissing a path down her body, Spike hooked his fingers under each side of her panties and gently pulled them down her toned legs. Panting slightly at the sight of her flushed and aroused body spread out for him on his bed, he kissed his way up one of her legs until he reached her moist center.

“Spike?” she whispered, her voice laced with uncertainty. Making a move to close her legs, Buffy nearly screamed when she felt his tongue run across her opening. Her eyes watered as she squeezed them shut, trying to control the blinding pleasure that seemed to race through her. “Oooh, God!”

Stopping his movements for the barest of seconds, Spike smiled before renewing his efforts. Alternating between kissing, licking, and sucking, he soon had Buffy thrashing beneath him, her fingers twined through his hair as she desperately held him closer to her, fearful that he would stop.

“Spike, please! I need…I need…”

“I know what you need, baby,” he whispered before focusing his attention on the center of her arousal, sucking her clit into his mouth and letting his teeth gently scrape over it before grasping it. Lightly flicking his tongue over and over until Buffy was screaming in ecstasy, using her hands to push his head down further, trying to prolong her pleasure. Spike eagerly complied with her wishes before licking her from top to bottom.

Crawling up the length of her body, he smiled at the sated look on her face. Looking up at him between partially closed eyelids, she smiled. “That was amazing.”

“Glad you enjoyed it, love,” he said with a smile before kissing her deeply.

Tasting herself on Spike’s tongue, another stroke of arousal shot through her as she eagerly reached for the zipper of his jeans. Making quick work of them, Buffy’s eyes widened when she pushed them over his hips, feeling his erection spring forth and hit her in the stomach.

Trembling as Spike settled himself between her legs, she briefly closed her eyes as he positioned himself at her dripping center. Staying still for a long moment, his mind briefly registered that he wasn’t wearing a condom before remembering that Buffy had been on the Pill for a few months.

“I think this might hurt for just a minute, baby,” he murmured, unsure of what to expect since she was a virgin.

“I’m ready,” she replied, nodding as if to assure herself just as much as him.

Slowly easing into her body, inch by inch, he watched as the expression on her face became more uncomfortable the closer he got to her barrier. Running one hand soothingly up and down her torso, he gave her another loving kiss before tearing through her virginity. Breaking away from him with a sharp cry, tears entered her eyes, leaving her to frantically blink them back before Spike could worry about her.

Tenderly kissing her shoulder and neck, Spike made his way upward until he was looking at the tears that she was obviously trying to suppress freely spilling down her cheeks. He felt as if his heart was going to explode from the pain he was causing her.

“Shhh, baby,” he said, kissing her, doing what he could to take her mind away from the pain. “The worst is over.”

Slowly realizing that the pain was subsiding, Buffy nodded as she tried to control her erratic breathing. Arching up against him softly, Spike looked into her eyes.

“Are you sure it’s okay?”

“I’m alright,” she whispered, nodding her head to reassure him.

Hesitating for a moment, Spike gently eased halfway out of her, pushing back in after a moment as Buffy adjusted to him.

Gasping at the shock of pleasure that rushed through her, she eagerly pulled Spike down to kiss him, meeting him thrust for thrust.

Spike was in heaven. Nothing had ever felt better than being sheathed inside her. He looked down at the woman beneath him and realized how much he cared for her. It wasn’t love…not yet, anyway. His heart wasn’t able to open up to someone as quickly since Drusilla had trampled all over it, but he knew he cherished Buffy. He would do anything for her…to protect her…and eventually to love her.

She was his. She was giving herself freely to him, and the last thing he wanted to do was ruin that moment.

Feeling his climax closing in on him, Spike angled his thrusts to brush against the most elusive place inside of her, sending her over the edge. After a few seconds, he felt her inner muscles tighten around him and arch up with a scream. Spike smiled briefly before following her over the edge, squeezing his eyes shut as he climaxed.

Each trying to catch their breath as Spike’s body blanketed Buffy’s, their lips met in a tender kiss as they tried to control themselves. Slowly pulling out of her, they both groaned at the loss of intimate contact before Spike rolled onto his back, pulling Buffy onto his chest. He watched as her fingertips traced patterns over his upper body, obviously lost in thought. Doing what he could to soothe her, Spike ran his hands up and down her arms, trying to soothe her.

“I love you,” she whispered after a moment.

Spike froze at the admission before she propped herself up to look at him, letting her hair spill over her shoulder as she met his gaze. “I don’t expect you to say it back, but I thought you should know…I love you. I have for a long time.”

“Buffy, I-I…”

“Shhh,” she whispered, placing a finger over his lips. “I want you to say it when you’re ready. I can wait.”







Thanks so much to: Juanita, Lacey, BuffyandSpikeForever, Sevvy_O, Cordykitten, willowmouse, gypsy_jin, jennybean, spikes slayer, Smitten, & Caitie for reviewing!!





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