Chapter 6 – High Hopes


Present Day


Knocking on the door of Giles’ home later that night, Buffy offered the older man a soft smile when he answered.

“Buffy,” he said with a smile. “I wasn’t expecting you tonight.”

“I know, Giles. I’m sorry it’s so late, but…well, it’s been kind of a rough day,” she said with a sheepish expression.

“Come in, please,” he said, opening the door even wider.

Entering the cozy apartment, she slowly walked into the living room, waiting for the older man to join her before sitting down on the overstuffed sofa.

“I just wanted to stop by, since I wasn’t sure when I would see you again.”

Taking off his glasses and cleaning them with a soft cloth, Giles sighed. “Buffy, just because William is coming home is no reason for you to hide. You did nothing wrong.”

“I know,” she said softly, looking down at her hands as she nervously wrung them together. “I just…it would just be too hard…seeing him…in person, I mean. Not that it’s not hard when I see him on TV or hear one of their songs on the radio. Or there’s the real kicker, when I get to walk through the grocery store and see the picture of the little slut I caught him with, telling her story for a few quick bucks…”

Trailing off when she realized what her babbling had led to, she looked up at Giles with a nervous expression.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“Buffy, I have no reason to defend William’s actions or behavior. I was furious with him for hurting you as well as not having the guts to tell you about it. You’re like a daughter to me, and I do not condone Will’s behavior, no matter how much I love him.”

Trying to stop her eyes from watering, she looked downward when a few traitorous tears slipped free. “I still love him, Giles,” she whispered in a choked voice. “And I don’t want to. I wish there was some way to just turn off all of my emotions but…I can’t. It’s horrible…everything he did…having to deal with all of it…I just feel horrible all the time.”

Giles crossed the floor and wrapped his surrogate daughter in his arms, letting her cry against his shoulder for several minutes before she pulled away.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been doing really good with the not breaking down…but, with him coming home tomorrow…”

“No need to explain, dear.”

“Anyway, um, the reason I came is to give you your Christmas gift, since I really doubt I’ll be seeing you on Christmas Day,” she said, handing him the small box.

“That’s so thoughtful,” Giles said with a soft smile as he stood up to walk toward the festive tree set up in the corner of the room. “I have yours here, as well.”

Retrieving a box from beneath the tree, he turned and handed it to her. They each tore into their own gifts and let out simultaneous gasps at what they found.

“Buffy, this is too much,” he said, holding up the silver watch and examining it while Buffy removed her gift from the box.

“Oh, Giles, you really shouldn’t have, this is beautiful.”

Looking down at the book in her hands, she let her fingertips gently run across the soft leather. It had a clasp holding the blank pages together, and her name was inscribed in the bottom right hand corner, making a smile pull at her lips at the thought that must have gone into this gift.

“Nonsense,” he said. “I know you need to get your feelings out, and sometimes a journal is the best way.”

“Get my feelings out,” she murmured, biting her lip, wishing that she had done that a year ago.

* * * * *

1 Year Earlier


Trudging home after her last class of the day, Buffy sighed, thinking about how much she was really starting to resent college. After only one semester, she couldn’t wait for Christmas Break. That night, she would be working on a research paper and studying for two tests- she could already feel the energy draining out of her.

“Buffy, wait up, pet!”

Turning around, a bright smile lit up her face when she saw Spike jogging toward her. Since he had graduated college in May, she felt like she never got to see him- most of his time was spent with the band, working on their songs. They signed a recording deal a few months ago, and one of their songs was already climbing the Billboard chart.

“What are you doing here?” she asked as he approached.

Greeting her with a long, hard kiss, Spike pulled back to give her a huge smile before responding, “I had to see you. I got the greatest news today, and you were the first person I wanted to tell.”

“Well, what is it?” she asked, his excitement rubbing off on her.

“We’re going on tour!”

Buffy’s smile faltered a little before she quickly put it back in place. She knew this was always a possibility- it was all Spike could talk about since they signed the deal.

“When?” she asked quietly.

“We leave the beginning of January. It’s over right before Christmas,” he said, nearly jumping up and down like a little kid.

Practically feeling her heart freeze in her chest, she swallowed nervously. ‘A year? He’s leaving for over a year?’

“Congratulations, honey,” she whispered. “I know this is what you always wanted.”

Spike stopped his celebrating to look at her closely. “You’re not happy.”

“No, I mean it’s…it’s great news,” she replied, trying to keep her smile firmly in place.

“What’s wrong, Buffy?”

“It’s just…it’s a long time for you to be away.”

“I know, baby, but it’ll be fine. We will be fine,” he insisted, loosely putting his hands on her waist, pressing his forehead against hers.

Relaxing a little at the reassurance in his tone, Buffy let a genuine smile come over her face. “Hey, maybe I could go with you,” she said after a moment. “You know, take a little time off school and see the country.”

Spike smiled, reaching out to stroke her cheek. “I’d love for you to, Goldilocks, but you need to focus on school. I’m about to live my dream- you should work on yours.”

“I don’t even know what mine is, other than being with you.”

“I know…and that’s why you need to stay and figure it out,” he said, pulling her into a hug and burying his face in her hair. “I’m going to miss you like crazy, you know that, right?” he asked with a strained voice.

“I know,” she whispered. “I’m going to miss you, too. Maybe whenever you’re on the west coast, I can take some time off and come see you.”

Spike pulled away and smiled down at her, obviously relieved at the thought. “Sounds perfect, love.”




Thanks so much to: gypsy_jin, Caitie, Cordykitten, Sevvy_O, willowmouse, BuffyandSpikeForever & spikes slayer for reviewing!





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